đ€Ż INCRĂVEL: 31 MIL Stories From February That Sparked Online Outrage đČ
Ok, for context, we were not trying to keep it secret. She just wasn’t invited to the wedding because my husband doesn’t really have a relationship with his mother, sister, and brother.
I posted about my MIL a few times here. Husband is the scapegoat in his family. His mom “cancelled” Thanksgiving in 2024, then supposedly had a change of heart, but “forgot” to invite him. That was pretty much the breaking point for him. He stopped initiating contact to check in and help family out when needed and realized the only time they called him was to ask for “loans” (money they had to intention of ever paying back) or favors. He stopped accommodating them (“You need $500? Sorry, man, I just had to get my car fixed. I’m broke at the moment.” “You need me to babysit Friday-Sunday night? Sorry, I’m travelling that weekend for a work conference.”). Since April of last year, he hasn’t heard from them at all because they realized he wasn’t their doormat anymore and stopped contacting him to ask for things.
We had a small, intimate ceremony in October (less than 20 people) and it was his choice not to invite them since he decided the only relationship he had with them was him being a tool they utilized. And they stopped reaching out once they got the message that that dynamic was over. Basically, he was no contact by circumstance, not by choice.
Last week, I updated my Facebook profile photo to one of us at our wedding. His family is blocked from all of my social media, but I guess word got around to them.
She showed up at our home this weekend demanding to know why she wasn’t invited, how mean that was of him, etc. He told her, “Sorry, I guess I just forgot.” LMAO! She started screaming, “Oh, so it’s about that Thanksgiving? Grow up.” He told her that it was actually because in the 6 months leading up to the wedding, they never reached out and clearly didn’t care about his life.
Then she tried blaming me for “changing him.” Yes, I did change him. I got him to see how toxic his family is and now he’s made the choice to remove that cancer.
While visiting home we were going to an escape room 45 minutes away. My BIL and SIL took their kids in their van while I drove with my husband, and MIL. I was driving, husband in shotgun and MIL in the backseat.
They were talking mostly when all of the sudden she addresses me. “You know you are so lucky that “husband” is so nice and that he lets you drive. Not a lot of men would let you drive like he does. He is a very special person.” (She means while he is in the car as if when a man is in the car he must be driving. Her oldest son and husband are very strict about this rule. Despite their wives driving solo all the time and with their kids.)
Now normally I hold my tongue and try to respect her opinions but I am proud of myself for my reply. “No, he does not get points for that. I would not marry a man who thought he could let me do anything. I am my own person and I can do whatever I want. We are equals and while I agree he is a very special person he doesnt get points for trusting me to do something I’ve safely done for 17 years.
Also for this trip we are borrowing my aunts car and her rule is only women are allowed to drive her car so he would actually be lucky if she let him drive.” She back tracked a bit and tried to explain why exactly him “letting” me drive was so amazing.
At that point my husband took over and explained to his mom the idea that I got to make my own choices and he would never try to make rules for what I can and cannot do. Again she tried to say how special he was for that and he interrupted her and said it was basic decency and respect for your partner. I feel bad because her marriage is terrible so explaining the bare minimum is the bare minimum feels like an attack on her life but also I’m not going to sit and gush over my husband for respecting me as a human being.
It was my husbandâs sisterâs birthday, and my 3.5-year-old daughter, my husband, and I were at my mother-in-lawâs house.
Everything was going well until they decided that my daughter should blow out the candles with her aunt. My mother-in-law said, “Do you want to sit next to your aunt and blow out the candles?” My daughter looked at me and said, “I donât feel like it, thank you.” Then she insisted, “It would be such a nice picture, come on, sit with your aunt.” My daughter looked at me, and I asked her, “Do you want to go?” The little girl replied, “No.” I told the grandmother, “She doesnât want to, you heard her.” The grandmother insisted. My daughter got upset, stared at her, and said firmly, “I said I donât want to.” My mother-in-law widened her eyes and said, “Okay, I didnât know.” My daughter replied, “I already said no before.”
My husband came over and told me, “No matter how much my mom says sheâs like them, itâs not true. Our daughter is just like you. She warned twice, and the third time she got upset… sweet and with character.”
My FIL passed away last year. Not pretty. I really felt for her. I helped with everything I could. I kept telling my husband we need to be patient with her because grief makes people weird, but it also made her straight-up bold.
Three months ago, she casually says her house feels too empty. That itâs too much upkeep. That sheâs lonely. I say thatâs understandable. Maybe downsize. Maybe a condo somewhere near so weâd visit. She says, actually, I was thinking I could just stay with you two for a bit. For a bit – remember this.
We live in a three-bedroom house. One is our room. One is our toddlerâs room. The third is my office. I work from home. She says itâs only until she feels stable again. And that wasnât a timeline. That was a declaration of her future lifestyle.
I say no. Gently. Respectfully. I say we can help you look at smaller places. We can come over more. But we donât have space for a live-in situation. She goes quiet. Nods. Says she understands.
Next week, she tells my cousins (whom Iâve barely met twice, but they are the only ones whoâll listen to her) that we refused to take her in after she lost her husband. That she offered to just sleep on the couch. Sleep on the couch. Indefinitely. In my living room. With my toddler.
My husband is stuck in the middle and keeps saying sheâs just hurt. I didnât sign up for polygamy. I didnât agree to abolish my place of work and rearrange everything just for her stability.
DH and I were having my parents over yesterday and decided to invite his as well because we all hadnât been together since the birth of LO four months ago. I was honestly extremely nervous about how this was going to go since JNMIL has intense baby rabies and is increasingly competitive with my parents. My parents are also wary of her because of how sheâs treated me postpartum.
First, lo and behold, DHâs parents arrived an hour early and started talking about how they and my parents were going to have to fight over who holds LO. I responded, âOh, theyâll only be here a couple of hours,â knowing weâll eventually have to ask JNMIL and FIL to leave because she canât bear to go. JNMIL looked embarrassed and said, âI mean, I am excited to see them!â
For the most part, she was on her best behavior while my parents were present. Though at one point my mom was holding LO on the couch, and JNMIL had to hold his hand the whole time. My mom didnât mind.
Once my parents left, DHâs parents stayed another three hours, despite DH telling them multiple times it was time to pack it up. FIL got visibly fed up with JNMIL and told her they needed to go. DH took LO into another room to get him away from her. She exploded, âBut I havenât seen my grandbaby in a month!â
I flatly replied, âItâs been two weeks.â To her credit, she did apologize for forgetting, but then said, âYouâll never understand until youâre a grandmother!â
First of all, my mom is not like that at all. She loves LO and misses him but understands we need space. She also has her own hobbies and friends, both of which JNMIL lacks. I replied, âWe work full time and need our weekends. We have social obligations and need to catch up on our lives. We deserve time as a family too.â
She just looked down and shook her head. Once they finally left, DH agreed to talk to her separately about her entitled behavior. I just canât wait until the day we donât get guilt-tripped for trying to appropriately fit them into our lives.
My MIL came over to cook for my husband. I just gave birth and have been experiencing dizziness and lightheadedness. I even fainted at the hospital after delivery. Since then, Iâve been extremely sensitive to heat. Iâm basically surviving breastfeeding and pumping by keeping the AC and fan on and eating popsicles all day. Breastfeeding has been hard, but Iâm still doing it.
Instead of asking me what Iâd like to eat or drink, considering Iâm the one who just gave birth and need to drink so much water, sheâs cooking all of my husbandâs favorite meals. She hasnât even gotten me water while Iâm pumping. Of course heâs enjoying his momâs cooking, and Iâm not upset that heâs eating. Iâm upset because sheâs making our small home extremely hot with all the cooking.
When you walk into the kitchen, itâs very hot from everything sheâs preparing. Sheâs cooking cultural food from her country, and the smell is very strong. The whole place smells like it, and it feels heavy and overwhelming. Even with the fan on, the heat and smell linger. My clothes smell, and the house feels hot and stuffy. The baby has even been sneezing.
Iâm not trying to criticize her food. Before giving birth, I loved trying foods from all over the world. But right now, I donât feel well. I canât tolerate meals that make me sweat, and I feel overstimulated by her being here, especially when it feels like sheâs only here to cook for my husband.
I already told her that I donât like the food she keeps making, but she continues to cook it. She says that when a woman gives birth, she has to eat this kind of food. But Iâm not even eating it; itâs just them enjoying it. If my mom came, and she loves to cook too, she would make sure to cook what everyone likes, not just me.
We have a 16-month-old son, and I have been very vocal about aiming to breastfeed until he is two years old.
Last night, while away for a family weekend trip, I fed my son, then my husband came and put him down for bed. My son cried when I left the room, which he doesnât do at home when I finish feeding, but my husband was with him to rock him and sing to him as usual.
I came out, and my MIL said, âDoes he not sleep when you feed him?â I told her sometimes he does, but sometimes he just tries to use me as a pacifier, and it gets sore, so I take him off. She then told me I must not be making enough milk and that I should stop breastfeeding.
I immediately went on the defensive and told her that when I pump, I make between 120â180 ml, so I very much have a supply. The conversation moved on.
Iâm just so angry. Itâs like sheâs trying to make me feel inadequate. It has nothing to do with her. Iâm angry she even offered this opinion. Iâm angry I had to defend my personal journey with breastfeeding my son.
My MIL keeps sending pictures of herself to my husband. I understand that sheâs his mom, but I just became a mom to a son, and I canât picture myself behaving like her.
She keeps sending pictures of herself breastfeeding my husband when he was a baby. The first picture, I thought, âOh, cute,â but sheâs been sending one every day. This started after he became a dad. I donât know if sheâs just reminiscing about when my husband was a baby.
She got excited in a strange way when she saw our baby. She was jumping up and down and crying that he looks just like her son. I know it sounds innocent, but maybe itâs because I already donât like her. She was mean to me before I had my son, so now everything she does feels triggering.
I recently moved to a new country to support my husband while he goes to school. We are staying with my in-laws to save money. After almost half a year of being depressed and isolated, I finally made friends I click with and can talk to easily.
The night before I was going to hang out with them, I was so giddy. Iâve always been a social person, and not having friends here has made me feel so down. One of my friends hosted a Galentineâs hangout. We painted, made bouquets, and watched movies.
While I was gone, my MIL pulled my husband aside and asked:
Why didnât I invite him with me? Why was I excluding him?
Itâs not a good look for me as a wife to go out without my husband. I showed a âlack of respectâ for him.
How could I put myself in a situation to be influenced without my husband around?
I shouldnât be acting single anymore.
Mind you, we have been married for eight years. This has never been a problem for either of us. My own mom constantly stresses getting my own hobbies and friends outside of my husband so I can have time for myself.
To his credit, my husband stood firm and said, âThis is our marriage, and Iâm perfectly fine with her hanging out with friends,â and left the conversation.
Now theyâre acting friendly to my face and still expecting me to hold conversations with them. This is so draining, and my mental health has never been worse. I constantly have to deal with these comments, but they will never say them to my face. They choose to talk to my husband because they feel heâs the man of our family and should be the one keeping me in check.
I feel like Iâve been transported to the 1950s or something.
My childâs father and I have decided to separate. While the issues with ex-MIL have definitely played a big part in the demise of our relationship, they were not the sole reason. We are still living together while we sort out our arrangements to live separately.
We are both in agreement that I will have our baby full time until she is older, has stopped breastfeeding, and is more comfortable being away for overnights, as long as he isnât still living in a share house with random roommates, which he intends to move into soon.
We agree on everything pertaining to our proposed co-parenting arrangement except for one thing: his parentsâ access to our child. I do not want them to have any access to her, as he is not capable of holding boundaries with them. MIL and FIL have said they want to give my baby their HSV-1 and have tried to multiple times.
I spoke to a lawyer today who, while very shocked by what he heard and claiming it was a first for him, said that I would be well within my rights to try to refuse access to them, considering how dangerous it can be for LO. I offered a midway point: they could have supervised visitation with her through a third-party contact center, at their expense, with him present.
He was upset, and Iâm not sure if he will agree to sign the parenting plan with this in place, but he did say, âWhatever, as long as they can see her.â
They donât know any of the logistics of our breakup at this stage. They only know we have broken up and are, of course, celebrating. They are now looking for a larger three-bedroom house, presumably to home my ex and our daughter, which wonât be happening. But let them waste their money.
Has anybody else dealt with refusing access to MIL and FIL to your children post-separation?
My MIL has always been obsessed with my LOâs (8 months) sleep. Weâve had a lot of ups and downs with his sleep, which is normal, especially through sleep regressions. Since LO was around six months, Iâve been grey-rocking. When she asks, I just say, âHeâs sleeping fine,â and leave it at that.
When we see her, which is only once a month or so because my in-laws live eight hours away, she goes on and on about âhow tired he looks,â âhe looks exhausted,â âyou poor thing, youâre so tired,â âhe just needs to sleep,â âdid he sleep in the car?â and âhere, Iâll try and get him to sleep.â I ignore it because sheâs always incorrect. Heâs not even remotely ready for a nap or showing tired signs.
Iâm also done trying to understand why sheâs obsessed with his sleep. I donât know if sheâs attempting to undermine me as a mother or if she likes hearing stories of me being sleep-deprived and struggling. Thatâs why I donât engage in discussions about it anymore.
Since he was a newborn, she has also loved to question and point out things like nonexistent scratches or bruises on his body, whether one of his eyes looks lazy, why heâs only grabbing with his left hand, or whether his ankle clicked and needs to be checked. Borderline hypochondriac comments. My baby is perfectly fine and healthy, and we ignore it.
When LO was five months old, my husband and I went to a friendâs wedding that we had RSVPâd to before I even found out I was pregnant. It was the first and only time I allowed my MIL to look after LO alone, and it was only for six hours. Sheâs quite anxious and scattered, and I donât trust her to mind LO without supervision. We came home early in the end. My husband gave her access to the Huckleberry app so she would know when to put him down for a nap. We only use it for the âsweet spot,â and itâs helpful during regressions and nap transitions.
Recently, I noticed some strange things like bottles, pumping, and breastfeeding times added to our Huckleberry, which I donât track. I deleted them and mentioned it to my husband, and he said it must be a glitch in the app.
We saw my in-laws this week, and my MIL, like clockwork, asked about LOâs sleep. I said, âItâs been fine,â and she responded, âIâve been watching the app, and he didnât seem to have a good night Tuesday or Wednesday.â
Thatâs when it dawned on me that she has probably been clicking around and adding random entries to our app while checking in on my babyâs sleep. She forced a response from me by rebutting every answer I gave with evidence of his âpoor sleepâ from the tracking she had scrolled through in the app.
Am I overreacting in thinking this is an invasion of privacy? How do I explain this to her? I understand we gave her access, but it was only meant for one afternoon. Is she doing this because she doesnât like the brief responses Iâve been giving her? How long has she been monitoring my babyâs sleep? Why is she looking and so obsessed with it?
Well, my MIL strikes again.
My son is turning one next month, and we are having a birthday party that is mostly family with a handful of family friends. I sent out e-vites last week and didnât realize it was going to start a war.
I sent one e-vite to my MIL and her sons who still live at home. For some background, her sonsâmy babyâs uncles, if you can even call them thatâhave yet to ever interact with my son. Weâve been in the same room, and they blatantly ignore him. My husband and I decided a while ago that our boundary is that they can have access if they want it, but we arenât going to go out of our way just to get our feelings hurt.
Historically, my MIL gets in the middle of my husband and her other adult childrenâs problems and always makes it worse. She apparently found out I sent a separate e-vite to my husbandâs cousin, even though she lives at home with her parents, who were also invited. So she decided to ask my husbandâs brother if he received his own invitation, even though she clearly sees that her invitation includes her sons who live at home.
She came over today and told us that he is mad at us and will not be attending our sonâs first birthday because he did not get his own invitation. She also told my husband and me that we are only hurting our son by his uncles not being in his life.
I kindly told her that she is telling that to the wrong people. We agree itâs sad for our son that his uncles donât want to be involved, but we canât control that.
In regard to the invitation, I did get a little snippy and say that it sounds like she stirred the pot by telling his brother he didnât receive his own invitation. That triggered her. She began to cry, wagged her finger at me, saying, âI will not be called a pot stirrer. All I ever try to do is help!â and then proceeded to storm out of our house.
Mind you, she was supposed to provide child care for us today so we could finish a remodel project on our house. I just finished dealing with my own family drama surrounding this birthday party. Did I mention Iâm pregnant? Iâm so sick of selfish, manipulative people stressing me out.
Before I start, my MIL doesnât have dementia or anything like that. She has been tested recently and multiple times. They have said she has a behavioral problem, but she has never sought help for it.
We are living with my in-laws temporarily while waiting for repairs to be done on our house, and my mother-in-law is horrible. I have a 2-year-old, and whenever I feed him lunch, dinner, breakfast, or anything, she will go get his food when I am not looking. I brought it up to her one day when I was watching from the kitchen, and she said, âOh, he called me over here to get one.â I said, âOf course he did, he is 2, and you were being manipulative, knowing he would tell you to come get one when you asked.â
I donât mean she takes just one. She will keep sneaking over until they are all gone, and food isnât cheap. She will even snatch food from his hand. We pay bills and for our own food there, and she still tries to eat all of our food. Even if we put it in a cooler bag or hide it, she still goes through it. I am at my witsâ end. My husband, her son, is tired of it too.
She doesnât want my son around unless he has food. Other times, she tells him to go to his mama. When I tell her to get her own food, she mocks me. But when it comes to her food and he tries to get some, she will yell.
I have even caught her drinking from my drink while I was busy. My drink was sitting beside me, and she picked it up and drank from it. When I confronted her, she said, âThis is my house.â
One night, I brought leftovers from Olive Garden and set them down for a few minutes while I was getting other things into the house. She ate all of my leftovers.
Before our baby was born, when my in laws visited, we would give up our bedroom out of respect for elders. We live in a two bedroom apartment and hadnât bought a house yet. The other room had a small bed, so my husband and I slept there while my MIL and FIL slept in our bedroom.
Now that the baby is here, we got rid of the small bed and turned that room into the nursery. Even though the baby still sleeps in a bassinet in our bedroom, we plan to move him to his room by six months. My MIL has been eager to come stay since the baby was born. Now that she found out sheâll need to stay in a hotel, sheâs upset and says this is all my doing.
Sheâs telling others that her son would never make his mother stay in a hotel and that this is my fault. She isnât saying this to my face, but sheâs talking about me and calling me evil. She asked my husband why she canât sleep where she used to sleep when she visited before. She wants to sleep in our bedroom with the baby but where am I supposed to sleep?
Iâm still healing from a postpartum tear and need the bathroom thatâs in our bedroom. I breastfeed my son, but she wants to sleep comfortably while I sleep on the couch. Itâs ridiculous. We donât have an extra room. The nursery has the babyâs crib and toys. Where is she expecting to sleep? She even said she could sleep on the couch. She says itâs wrong to stay in a hotel when you have a son, but we live in an apartment, not a house.
Context: My MIL, 60, lives with my husband (35M) and me (30F).
Finally, I had a conversation with my husband about leaving his mother behind in his condo. I wanted to speak to him for almost three months but waited it out until yesterday.
My husband and I were cleaning the guinea pig cage when I had to pause my part and get our baby, who had just woken up from her nap. I came back to his mother huffing and puffing as she came out of her room. My husband had the guinea pig plastic tub bottom and tried to ask his mother to hold open the door for him. She snapped and stated he shouldn’t be putting that mess into the toilet and asked if he was an idiot. Then, when he tried to explain, she said, “You are a complete fool,” before going back into her room.
I was standing only a foot away as she spoke to my husband like that. I wanted to react, but my husband and I agreed that if we needed to speak to our family about something, it would be us speaking to them. I went to my husband and told him I must be an idiot too because I’ve been dumping that liquid into the toilet as well. The special “liquid” has the animal’s small poop and pee – that’s it, no hay or anything else.
Then she came out and said she needed to leave for something and took his car. That’s when I acted fast. I asked him if he liked being talked to like that. He simply stated there’s nothing that can be done because if you try to reason with her, it’ll make her angrier.
I calmly stated that it is not our problem to walk around like there’s glass on the floor. I explained the other problems with his mother, such as that she has called him spoiled to my sister, she reports to his brother about what’s going on in our home, how she treats him compared to his awful brother, and how she treats him in front of me without hesitation.
I finally stated that it’s a no for me. I do not want her coming with us. He understood, and now we plan on telling her.
MIL will be visiting our home soon, but luckily itâs a short visit since she has other obligations that bring her out our way. She told us she wanted to stay here for âa few days,â but we gave her one day and night that worked for us, only because she was going to be in town. You can tell us what you want, MIL, but that doesnât mean itâs going to happen.
But thatâs not the point of my post. She just loves to snoop through our things. Last time she was here, she was going through our bathroom cabinets looking for a hairdryer to borrow. She has her own guest bathroom to use, so she went out of her way to go into ours and start looking around. Any normal person would just ask, but not my entitled, boundary-stomping MIL.
I have these baby-proofing cabinet locks that require a magnet on the outside of the cabinet to open the latch and therefore open the cabinet. I got them a while ago but couldnât get them to fit my cabinets. I just took them out again because Iâve been stressed about her snooping during this upcoming visit. Now that I have more determination, I figured out how to get them to fit, and I have successfully installed them on all bathroom cabinets. The magnet will be hidden away.
Itâs not like I have anything unusual in my cabinets; itâs just the principle. Now I can actually put more personal things there if needed. And I do have a baby, so itâs not strange for them to be baby-proofedâthey needed to be baby-proofed. But now theyâre MIL-proofed as well.
Gotta celebrate the small wins that bring a little peace of mind during an inevitable high-alert, stressful time.
My MIL came to visit the baby for the first time. Sheâs staying at a hotel, so she already hates me for it. She wanted to sleep with us, but we donât have room.
Now sheâs saying that by the time she comes over, I always take him to nurse, and sheâs irritated by that. She sighs when I leave the room. She looks at her phone and says, âIâm timing you.â When I say I have to feed him, she makes comments like, âAgain?â or âCanât you just wait a little? Iâm holding him.â
As if hunger runs on her schedule. As if my baby should pause his needs so she can hold him longer.
What she doesnât understand, or doesnât care to, is that nursing isnât optional. It isnât me being dramatic. It isnât me trying to âtake the baby away from her.â Itâs nutrition. Itâs survival. Itâs my job to make sure heâs not dehydrated and that heâs well fed.
She cried that Iâm doing it on purpose. That Iâm purposely feeding him when she comes over and that he doesnât need to eat that much. She says I should not nurse him on demand. I should nurse him on a schedule because itâs good for my mental health. I know she doesnât care about my mental health. She just doesnât want me to take the baby to feed him.
She also complained that I donât feed the baby in front of her and that even her friendsâ daughters nurse in front of her.
When I say I need to feed him, a healthy response would be, âOf course. Take your time.â Or something helpful like, âDo you need water?â Instead, I feel judged for doing the most natural thing in the world.
When LO was born four months ago, DHâs parents visited often, at least one to two times a week. We were both on work leave and okay with it, while a little annoyed because they overstay and make critical and odd remarks.
Then we both went back to work and LO started daycare, so our weekends have become our time to bond, catch up on chores and errands, see friends, and find time for my family as well. We had to put up boundaries on his parents visiting, which has now been reduced to once a month.
Due to this, the visits are becoming unbearable. They were here last weekend and refused to let me hold my baby for six hours. They wouldnât let him go take a nap, so he had sporadic small naps in their arms. They brought a bunch of raw food and expected me to cook, though they made a big deal about how I âdidnât have to do that.â When were we supposed to eat then? Youâve been parked on the couch the entire time.
There were constant guilt trips throughout the entire visit that they hadnât seen LO in weeks and that heâs now an entirely different baby. The best part was that my MIL sent over 20 photos to the family group chat that evening, and I wasnât in any of them because I was busy being the stagehand for the day and serving them.
Iâm so frustrated that I let it get so out of control because they were steamrolling me. I refuse to let this happen again in the future. What kind of people treat a new mom like this?
Next time, Iâll be taking him away to nurse him instead of letting them bottle-feed him. Iâll be stern about his nap time. And Iâll leave the cooking and cleaning up to them. I obviously need to have a big talk with my husband and have him back me up.
Weâve been no contact with MIL since she threw what was supposed to be my baby shower while we were in the hospital with our two-month premature baby. She refused to move the shower to be closer to us and did not come to do anything to support us, but made sure to brag about the meal train she received a few months prior to the birth for her knee surgery.
She also told her extended family not to show up for us when a cousin made reservations at a nearby restaurant to try to accommodate moving the baby shower. Only the cousin and her mother showed up. This was all over a year ago.
A few months later, when she realized my husband was actually no contact (like he told her) and not reaching out, she sent an email with a vague apology: âsorry for not being there.â My husband responded with how we felt and what we needed before weâd consider working on a relationship with her. We needed her to say exactly what happened and genuinely apologize for it. No vagueness.
Another month went by and we received another vague apology email. We decided not to respond.
Well, two weeks ago, around ten months after the last email, she sent another email to my husband saying she misses him and wants him to be a part of her family, and that she hopes we are all doing well. He responded by basically forwarding our last email with our expectations. No response since.
I just donât get it. Weâve said what we need, and if youâre not going to do what we need, donât bother emailing. Itâs like she reached out to see if he was ready to sweep it under the rug. She was also always so obsessed with having a grandchild, constantly asking for one, and now sheâs never even seen a photo of our son because she wonât apologize for what she did.
I could not imagine being this way. It also irritated me when she said she wanted him âto be a part of her family.â Itâs the other way around. She should be saying she wants to be a part of our familyâher sonâs family.
My MIL is a piece of work. She actually got bored with my daughter when she wasnât a baby anymore and she couldnât be the center of her universe. She even got jealous of me because when I come into the room, my daughter cries for me.
Sheâs outdone herself this time. Her mother is on at-home hospice. My SIL is staying at the house and doing all her care. My MIL only shows up once a week and wonât help unless itâs demanded of her. She also tries to change the routine. Sheâs rude and argumentative the whole time.
When her mom wanted water, she said they shouldnât give it to her because itâs prolonging her life. What on earth. She also said they shouldnât let her sit up on the edge of her hospital bed when she is able to. SIL told hospice about this, and they were very firm that they donât hasten death; they provide comfort and care. Iâm floored they actually had to say that.
Baby is 9 months old. Every single time my baby has her paci clip, my MIL likes to announce that sheâs playing with her âanal beads.â This paci clip is the one that has bubbles on it.
Yes, I get it, I might think it was clever if it wasnât a baby toy and my child wasnât actively using it for her paci and playing with it. But it is disgusting to me that she has been making that reference since birth. This was probably the seventh or eighth time sheâs said this. It was in front of my grandmother and sister as well. No one laughed.
Itâs weird to me. It also ruined the mood when I said it was disgusting to say that about a baby toy. She left pouting, and Iâm sure sheâll try to make me apologize.
Now Iâm not sure if this is just me because she annoys me with every word she says. I honestly canât stand her presence. But I do try to give grace, and this is the first time Iâve ever said anything to her about this repetitive joke.
Is it gross to anyone else to make that kind of sexual reference about a baby toy, especially while a baby is using it? No one else mentions anything when she says it.
Edit: Thank you all for the quick responses. As for the part about making me apologize, I usually do just to end the MIL tantrums. She will likely try to get one for embarrassing her, but I definitely wonât in this situation. Iâve never seen this behavior in anyone, and my husband and I have always thought she just liked attention and tended to ignore it. Itâs not an issue unless it involves my child. No excuses. No one else would put up with this the first time, so I regret even brushing it off once.
My MIL told my husband that she could have filed for grandparentsâ rights. This came up because she is in a feud with her ex-husband, my husbandâs stepdad, and doesnât like them visiting with us.
My husband (29) worked for their company and had us move states away to do an âoffice jobâ instead of traveling. Instead, he traveled constantly and left me home alone to work remotely with two kids. Then MIL and DH inherited a house in our original state, and she moved the office back there, even though my husband couldnât work from home yet. When he had to travel for almost a month at a time, he was able to work in the hotel after being in the field all day.
So MIL changed the rules, closed the office, and decided to bring it back to the original state. Now she has the audacity to threaten âgrandparentsâ rightsâ when nothing has been taken from her and she has had every opportunity. She made us move and is now mad about it. She was also upset that I said I wouldnât have moved if I had known I would be alone like that. Who pays to be alone and struggle willingly?
Apparently, Iâm just the awful woman she had to endure taking her son from her, when Iâve done nothing but make life possible. Otherwise, her son would be far worse off without me. I began taking notes today of all her behavior toward me.
Sheâs driving me crazy.
I just got back from a four-day trip to Arizona. Our flight landed, and weâd been up since 4 a.m. On the way home, we called my mother-in-law to ask if the kids had eaten because we were going to stop and grab food. She told us both she and the kids had already eaten lunch. So we grabbed lunch for ourselves and drove home.
When we got home, we sat down to eat, and both kids immediately came over wanting our food, so obviously we shared with them. I asked if they had eaten, and they both said no. So I got up and made them lunch, and we all ate. Everyone except MIL came out the whole time, which was awkward in itself.
After we finished eating, my daughter still had some chicken left in her bowl on the table. My mother-in-law asked if it was leftover chicken because she wanted to make a sandwich. I told her no, that it was my daughterâs lunch and she couldnât have it. I walked into another room, came back out, and caught her eating the chicken straight out of my daughterâs bowl with the same fork my daughter had been using.
I didnât say anything. I just looked at her and rolled my eyes. She put the fork down and didnât say anything either.
It makes me so annoyed because not only did she tell us they had eaten, but there was no food in the fridge except what we had prepared before we left. That means she didnât cook anything for three full days. She just let the kids graze on snacks. She never cooks or helps, but always wants a plate or will literally grab food off your plate.
My husband asked her why she told us the kids had eaten when they clearly hadnât. She said they ate at 11 and she didnât think theyâd be hungry.
Am I overreacting for being upset that she told us they ate when they didnât, which meant we didnât bring them food, and also for eating out of my daughterâs bowl after I specifically said no?
As the title explains, my SO and I are flying out of the continent this summer. The tickets are not bought yet, but itâs decided that the trip will be for two months starting in June. She knows about it because he is still financially dependent on her and has to ask for permission.
After knowing about this for months, she decided to book a summer trip that is a three-hour drive away with her friends. However, she said she wants him to come with her. Now my SO tells me heâs going to fly back home to go on that trip with her and then fly back to me.
I told him thatâs too expensive, and I donât even know if she will let him do that. Itâs crazy that I even have to say that. He also told me he doesnât have to go, but I donât believe it because she always complains to him that he doesnât pay enough attention to her anymore.
She knows about all of this. But of course, my SO doesnât even blink at that fact and says she booked it early because of how busy it is.
DHâs mother showed up unannounced yesterday. Will it ever end? We went no contact six months ago, though DH is closer to low contact or no contact. I feel like it may have been triggered by my husband texting his younger sibling two days ago.
She had texted him saying she wanted to have a âquick catch-up.â She called him, but there was no answer. Then she texted again saying she âpopped in.â We are away from home, so I quickly checked our front camera, and there she was, standing right in front of our door.
Am I crazy, or is she trying to make a power play, more like boundary-stomping? Why do they think everything will be okay, especially when they still treat you like you donât exist? Her ego is so fragile that she acts like I donât exist in her world.
This is our home. She behaves as if heâs the only one who lives here. She tried to apologize without having any idea what she was actually apologizing for.
What goes through these types of peopleâs minds?
MIL occasionally babysits our 9-month-old son. The last couple of times sheâs watched him, sheâs made some âone-uppingâ comments toward me about my baby.
For example, two weeks ago she watched him for four hours while I had back-to-back appointments. When I went to pick him up, he immediately crawled over to me, didnât want to leave my side, and got extremely fussy shortly after I arrived. MIL told me he hadnât napped at all while he was with her but was fine up until I got there. She said it in a slightly snarky way.
I replied along the lines of, âOh, well babies tend to hold their emotions in until theyâre around their mothers and get clingy when they feel safe enough to express those emotions.â She immediately launched into a story about how âthe last time he was here, a neighbor came over and he crawled to her and got fussy and wouldnât let her go. Probably because he felt she was a ânurturerâ to him too.â
Okay, whatever.
Then last night, my husband, baby, BIL, SIL, and their baby were all visiting her. My nephew, who is only a month older than my son, fell asleep in his bouncer shortly after we got there. About 15 minutes later, my BIL and SIL stepped out for a moment. My baby was in my husbandâs lap when my nephew woke up. My nephew wouldnât stop staring at me, and I was sitting where my SIL had been sitting when he initially fell asleep.
I made a lighthearted joke to my husband, saying, âHe keeps staring at me like, âWait⊠youâre not my mom.ââ
My MIL overheard and immediately jumped in, saying, âWell, your son is staring at me. He keeps staring at me too.â My husband replied, âI think heâs staring at the TV, which youâre sitting directly in front of.â
I just get the feeling that sheâs trying to compete with me for attention from my baby. It feels like sheâs trying really hard to have that âmotherâ connection with him, as if itâs on the same level as mine. It just rubs me the wrong way.
My MIL had a big 60th birthday planned, a week-long holiday booked for her whole family. I have a 2-year-old, the only grandchild, so there was a lot of pressure to bring her on this trip. My dad died very suddenly and unexpectedly. My nanaâs husband had a heart attack the same day my dad passed away. My nanaâs health is deteriorating rapidly. To put it lightly, we are dealing with a lot in my family.
I called my MIL and explained that I did not feel like going on a trip one week after all of this would be a good idea. During the call, my MIL and my husband kept pushing me to go. âDonât write it off yet. You can come back whenever you need to.â I obviously had no time to plan, organize, or pack anything.
I had a huge argument with my husband the night before the trip. When she saw me at the ferry terminal, she asked how I was. I said, âNot good,â and started crying. She turned around and kept getting bags out of the car, just throwing in a âYou can go if you wantâ in an annoyed, not very genuine way. They then completely ignored me. I didnât feel up to joining them, so they just left me in the apartment on my own with no food or anything.
When they got back, I said I couldnât do it and had booked the ferry home. She blew up and said I chose to come and that I ruined her birthday. My husband was silent the whole time. I screamed at him that I wanted a divorce and that he could marry his mother in front of his whole family. I moved in with my mum for two weeks.
My husband has now realized he has an enmeshed relationship with his mum and is seeking counseling. MIL sent a non-apology, basically saying it was my fault she treated me like that because I yelled at my husband.
Weâve had a few minor issues with my MIL in the past, but Iâve set boundaries, not my husband, and she has usually been fairly respectful after that. So this behavior is pretty extreme for her. My husband has always been as useful as a wet blanket in stressful situations.
Basically, what do I do? I want to leave, but we have a 2-year-old. I also have enough on my plate without adding a divorce. Is he even redeemable if he gets some therapy?
Theyâve now accepted that they canât stop us from getting married. She threatened not to show up to our wedding and said she would make sure she stopped all the aunts and uncles from coming as well. Sheâs also convinced that we rushed everything to overshadow her daughter.
He explained to her that his sister used to call him secretly to fish for information about our wedding and knew about our date months before she booked hers.
Iâve decided Iâm not going to her wedding since itâs five weeks before mine and requires a six-hour flight on a random weekend. I also find it interesting that she changed her wedding to a destination event after we confirmed the city and the number of people coming. Our wedding is only a two-hour drive away.
My fiancĂ© is a great guy, but unfortunately his mom and sister have an imaginary competition that Iâm not part of. I want to make it clear that Iâm actually happy she wonât come to my wedding. Thatâs less drama to deal with. I just feel bad for my fiancĂ©.
Call me naĂŻve, but my own grandmother just wasnât like this. I had no idea. My mom adored her and described her as âthe most lovely woman.â After my parents divorced, my grandma stood up for my mom and had her back. She never tried to take over or anything like that.
Then I met my husbandâs mom. In my head, I think of her as a vulture or a rabid, salivating dog, and my kids are her prey. Sheâs so intense and desperate to relive her days as a mother and âhelpâ us.
When I was first postpartum, I didnât notice too much. But as time has gone on, Iâve started to see more and more. She is manipulative, pushy, competitive, physically smothering, has an agenda and rigid traditions, was investigated and fired from her job after being accused of being hostile to others in the workplace, is estranged from her siblings due to âpast conflicts,â and does not like hearing the word âno.â
And surprise, the other SIL in the family has completely cut her off. Maybe Iâm just dense, but I struggle to understand the mindset behind what she does. I canât imagine looking at someone elseâs child and getting possessive, competitive, and strange about it.
How are these women justifying what theyâre doing? Do they even realize? Iâm constantly confused about how my MIL rationalizes her behavior to herself. No, I donât want you to come over so you can âhelpâ and âbe mom for the day,â which is literally something she has asked me if she could do.
So weâre getting our house, and guess who canât just be happy for us?
DH and I are finally about to be on our own after a year and a half of getting back on our feet. We took a leap and moved states to live with my dad, thank goodness, and we are doing so much better. We are each making more money, and DH is in line for a promotion. We have our eye on a house and are so excited to finally provide for ourselves.
DH called his mom to tell her we are moving out from my dadâs help and into our own place, and you could feel the disdain in her words. âOh really⊠well thatâs nice⊠oh, you guys are really settling in, huh?â
Yes. What did she think we were going to do?
She cannot say anything positive about any of the good things that have been happening to us since we moved. She is always negative and passive-aggressive about our accomplishments. I want to tell DH to stop sharing. She clearly doesnât want whatâs best for us. She seems to want her son to struggle so she can be our âsavior.â
Itâs disheartening, but I donât care. She can continue to feel however she wants, several hours away from us.
My boyfriend and I went on a vacation to our hometown about a year ago. I knew his mom could be micromanaging, but I didnât expect it to show this much. Sheâs genuinely sweet, but during the trip she inserted herself into almost everything we did.
When my boyfriendâs brother booked two hotel roomsâone for us and one for herâduring a trip out of town, she kept insisting on staying in the same room as us. She eventually agreed to separate rooms, but clearly didnât want to.
Another day, my boyfriend and I planned to visit my friend in the hospital alone, but she subtly changed the plan and turned it into a group outing. She then mentioned feeling dizzy because she hadnât taken her medication yet, which she usually takes during breakfast, and suddenly the entire day revolved around her and our original plan disappeared.
Throughout the trip, she and my boyfriend often talked about things I wasnât included in or given context for, while I felt responsible for explaining my own stories so she wouldnât feel left out. She was never rude, but there was an unspoken expectation that everything had to include her.
What bothered me most was how my boyfriend changed around her. He always said yes, never set boundaries, and prioritized her comfort even when it made me uncomfortable. It felt like he reverted into someone I didnât recognize.
By the end of the trip, I felt invisible and emotionally exhausted, especially since I had lost a close family member just a month earlier and hadnât been able to grieve properly.
When we went home, we talked. He apologized for everything and admitted he wished he had made time for just us. He explained that he feels freer away from his family but was raised to believe that saying no to his mom was selfish, so he and his siblings still feel guilty doing things without her. He now understands what he did wrong and is actively working to improve.
Are my feelings valid, or am I overreacting?
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