🤯 INCRÍVEL: Pains, Gains, And Marital Strains- These Are 32 Things Women Had No Idea Weren’t Normal 😲
Women have been quietly accepting things for centuries, and honestly, we’ve had enough. From “just push through the cramps” to laughing politely at the world’s least funny “I hate my wife” joke for the forty-seventh time, the bar for what counts as a normal female experience has been dragged across the floor so many times it’s basically underground at this point.
Turns out, a lot of women have been quietly absorbing things. Jokes, behaviors, physical experiences, and relationship dynamics. All that, while assuming it was just the universal female experience. It’s not. An online community recently blew some serious minds when women started sharing the things they genuinely thought every woman just… dealt with. Spoiler: they really, really don’t.
More info: Reddit
Constantly seeing videos of husbands walking ahead of their wives even when they are pregnant – wives are recording and posting it as a joke, and comments make it seem like it’s normal.. it’s not normal at all, their husbands don’t seem to care about them/even like them.
My friend just thought s*x was supposed to hurt. Turns out she had a grapefruit sized cyst in her uterus. For decades. That multiple doctors somehow missed.
Here’s a fun little history lesson nobody asked for but everybody needs. For the majority of recorded human history, women were legally, socially, and culturally discouraged from having opinions about, well, *anything*. We’re talking centuries of not being allowed to own property, vote, work, leave bad marriages, or even have a medical condition that wasn’t diagnosed as “hysteria.” Cool system, guys.
The thing about that kind of long-term, institutionalized “pipe down” energy is that it doesn’t just vanish because we passed a few laws. It seeps into culture, into families, and into the way mothers raise daughters and daughters raise daughters. The message of “keep the peace” and “don’t make it weird” gets quietly handed down like a family heirloom nobody wants but everyone keeps.
So, when women today shrug off something uncomfortable rather than naming it? That’s not weakness. That’s literally thousands of years of conditioning doing exactly what it was designed to do. The bar for “worth complaining about” was set so impossibly high for so long that a lot of women are still figuring out where the actual floor is.
‘I dont love my wife’ jokes made by 40+ men.
dhcirkekcheia reply:
Realised just how mean my grandad was to my nana when every single card he got for birthdays or xmas was about how he hates his wife. Everyone had the same thought.
Passing out during menstruation, from pain and bleeding 15-20 days every month.
I spent decades begging for a hysterectomy but was always told that I would “change my mind” about kids.
Finally, at 40, a doctor agreed to do the procedure. During pre-op testing, I was diagnosed with adenomyosi, fibroids, and (unrelated but would have gone undiagnosed without pre-op) cervical cancer.
Men being selfish lovers.
In my youth, I was coerced into s*x so many times. Sometimes they used phrases like “I’ll be fast!” Most times, s*x was something whose goal was male orgasm, and if I didn’t have one, they seldom asked what they could do to get me off. It just seemed like a common perception was that s*x was primarily to the benefit of the man.
If you’ve ever sat in a doctor’s office describing very real, very debilitating symptoms and been sent home with a pat on the back and a suggestion to “try reducing stress,” congratulations, you’ve experienced one of the most well-documented phenomena in modern medicine. Gender bias in healthcare is not a conspiracy theory or a vibe. It is a measurably, statistically, infuriatingly real thing.
One analysis carried out in 2019 by the Novo Nordisk Foundation Center for Protein Research found that across 770 diseases studied, women were diagnosed later than men, with an average lag time of four years. Four years. That’s not a rounding error. That’s a significant chunk of someone’s life spent being told they’re probably fine when they are, in fact, not fine.
And it gets worse. Research from the University of Sydney in 2018 found that females admitted to the hospital for serious heart attacks were half as likely as men to receive proper treatment. And then they passed away at twice the rate six months after discharge. Twice. For the same condition. In the same hospitals.
So when women second-guess whether their symptoms are “bad enough” to mention, or apologize before describing their pain, it’s worth remembering that this self-doubt doesn’t come from nowhere. When the system has historically responded to female pain with a shrug, it makes devastating sense that women eventually learn to shrug first.
Women doing basically everything relevant to the home and family while the men get praised and excused for their s****y personalities and behavior because they have jobs and maaaaybe once in a while may cook a meal or two.
Endometriosis, I can’t believe it’s 2025 and doctors still can’t pinpoint it and expect us to go home take paracetamol and expect everything to be fine.
Endometriosis is a condition where tissue similar to the uterine lining grows outside the uterus, causing chronic and often debilitating pain. Shockingly, it affects roughly 1 in 10 women worldwide. That’s an enormous number of people dealing with a very real, very physical condition. And yet, the average time it takes to get a diagnosis is somewhere between seven and ten years. Seven. To. Ten. Years.
That gap exists largely because period pain has been so deeply normalized that both patients and doctors have struggled to distinguish “this is a medical condition” from “this is just being a woman.” Women report being dismissed, told their pain is psychological, or simply handed ibuprofen and wished good luck. Many only get answers after years of pushing back.
The cruel irony is that the more women are told their pain is normal, the more they believe it, and the less they push for answers. It’s a cycle that’s almost elegant in how badly it fails people. So many women genuinely assume that the level of pain they experience every month is just something everyone quietly survives. It is not. It never was.
Husband’s finally doing something after listening to an “expert” and forgetting that their wife has been saying it for years.
Random pain in joints or muscles surrounding certain joints.
Turns out it’s due to hypermobility, and only about 1/10 people in the general population is hypermobile (some are asymptomatic), making it a very common but relatively unknown genetic condition.
You don’t have to be nice when people are being misogynist to you, it was never ok and you dont have to grin and bear it so as to not cause trouble.
On TikTok, husbands are joking about their wives being their “ball and chain.” Viral videos are framed around dreading time with their spouse. The classic “I don’t love my wife” bit is delivered with a smile that’s supposed to make it okay. It’s everywhere, and it’s been normalized to a point where women who find it hurtful are made to feel like they’re the problem for not finding it funny.
Therapist Terrance Real offered a pretty compelling explanation for why this keeps happening. He argues that we live in a culture of toxic individualism, one where people aren’t equipped to handle the natural disillusionment that comes with long-term partnership. Instead of working through conflict, unresolved resentments quietly stack up until they’re leaking out as “jokes” on social media.
The tricky part is that “normal marital hate” (a real term therapists use) exists on a spectrum. Some friction is genuinely par for the course in any long relationship. But there’s a meaningful difference between two people who openly tease each other and a pattern where one person is consistently the punchline. A lot of women had been laughing along for years before realizing the joke was always on them.
Having a significant other who is always angry or is Waking up and they are angry about nothing at all or something from the day prior or heck even 5 years prior so that then made your whole day and mood awful cause they took it out on you immediately verbally at least. I rarely achieved the goals and chores or felt very good.
I had dealt with the same from my mother so I didn’t think twice. I remember one time telling her to stop when she was staying at my house as an adult but it of course did not so when my significant other started it I just accepted it without thinking.
I hope yall don’t deal with it but if you do put an end to it now!
I thought all women hated touching/kissing/f*****g men. Cuz of all the sexless marriage jokes…. turns out I’m gay.
There’s a thread connecting all of this. It’s the same thread, just pulling in different directions. Women have been handed a version of normal that was never actually designed with them in mind, and then quietly blamed for not questioning it sooner. Which is, to put it scientifically, a lot.
The good news is that conversations like this one are exactly how the thread starts to unravel. Women comparing notes, realizing their experience isn’t universal, and saying out loud, “Actually, that’s not okay,” is remarkably powerful for something that looks, on the surface, like people just chatting on the internet. Normalization only survives in silence. It does not hold up well under group chat energy.
So whether it’s finally advocating for yourself at a doctor’s appointment, retiring the polite laugh at the joke, or just telling a friend that no, excruciating pain every month is not something everyone just pushes through, it all counts. The bar has been underground for a long time. Turns out, a lot of women are ready to dig it out and set it somewhere reasonable. Preferably above sea level this time.
Deep, terrible, abdominal pain and urination issues (not that I knew it was an issue).
Turned out it was internal abdominal adhesions / scarring leftover from IGM in toddler years.
____________
EDIT since someone asked: IGM being Intersex Genital Mutilation which they usually do to us as infants or toddlers. Usually ends up sterilizing us, too.
In my teens and twenties: getting in trouble at work for needing to take a day off each month due to menstrual pain and being treated as if I was slacking. Being told by the dr to take Panadol and never being offered anything more effective.
Dating men with multiple s*x partners, not like a few, no, I’m talking they have more s*x partners than the years they’ve been alive.
I have nothing against people who do date people like that at all, men and women both are sensual, but that doesn’t automatically mean I have to like or put up with it in my own personal life. Turns out a lot of women I’ve met also don’t like this, we’re just used to it.
One I’m noticing amongst the elderly or almost elderly:
High-needs men not agreeing to going into care/residential facilities and expecting their also-aged wives to be their carers.
So many women who have looked after their health/mobility are resigned to caring for immobile or senile husbands to the detriment of their own well-being.
I’ve been paying 50/50 rent with my boyfriend for 4 years only to have a friend tell me that her and her partner split the rent equally to what they earn bc she earns considerably less than him.
I thought condoms just burned. Turns out I’m allergic to latex!
anonymous reply:
Same! But this led me to discovering Skyn condoms, which are superior in every way. They transfer body heat so they feel more natural, and they don’t make sex smell like rubber.
Doctors (and people in general) dismissing you. It’s so important to advocate for yourself.
FloBot3000 reply:
You have to advocate SO HARD!! I now have lists so I can ramble everything off to the doc quickly and not miss anything.
Catcalls, whistles, basically s****l harassment from men. I don’t consider myself an attractive woman, at all. But, I’ve been shocked at upstanding members of the community and other men I’ve known my entire life, hitting on me and just being gross. So many uncomfortable moments. I’m almost 48 and don’t get that attention anymore, sometimes I miss it just a little, but I really just thought it was something women had to live with because men are pigs. I always said no to men I wasn’t interested in or that grossed me out, but beyond that, I didn’t really stand up for myself, so for a few men, it became a normal behavior whenever we were around each other.
Also, that women rarely had orgasms and we just had to live with it. Until I met my current husband. The first man to ever care about my pleasure. .
I used to get really quickly worn out and sometimes pass out when I did any exercise. My dad and several gym teachers made me think I was just being weak and lazy. Turns out I have POTS.
I thought it was normal to have to walk on eggshells around mom, and wait for the next moment that she’ll guilt trip you and make you uncomfortable.
‼️ perimenopause symptoms ‼️ I mean, I realize all women go through it so it’s normal in that respect. But these symptoms CANNOT BE NORMAL Y’ALL. 🤯
Some of the delightful symtpoms I’ve been silently putting up with over the last year that may or may not be related to r/perimenopause
– Night sweats
– Heart palpations
– Increased frequency in migraines
– Underwhelming orgasms (libidio a-ok though)
– A**l itching (whhhyyyyy)
– Itchy underarms (I feel like an orangutan… 🦧)
– Itchy inner ears (just… so much itching y’all)
– Dry eyes
– Freezing cold hands/feet (I keep an electric heating pad in the floor for my feet at work)
– My husband says I’m snippy and no longer “listen to him”. 😑 I really don’t think my behavior has changed at all lol (ok, maybe I have a few fewer f**** to give, but I’m not sure that’s a bad thing). Maybe I haven’t noticed my own descent into madness though, idk. 😅
And like, this is only the tip of the iceberg. Symptoms can get SO MUCH WORSE!! Go look up clitoral atrophy! Your labia can freaking disappear?!
I’m only 39, but had a hysterectomy (kept ovaries) two years ago and I think it speed up my peri timeline. Had a telehealth apt with my doc today. Going in person at the end of the month for a follow up to probably get some vaginal estrogen & HRT. I feel good about our convo today… we shall see though!
Sitting still. It turns out I just have ADHD and sitting still isn’t painful for most people.
Being the emotional dumping ground for men while getting absolutely zero support in return. I really thought that was just “how relationships worked.” Turns out, emotional reciprocity is a thing. Who knew? 😮💨
That all men watch adult videos/look at other s*xual entertainment while in a relationship. It’s actually not true, but I thought it was.
I don’t think women silently put up with this but they allow it 100%. Babysitting grown ass men. Men can be adults, DO NOT BABY THEM!
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