š¤Æ INCRĆVEL: āOne Thing Iāll Never Forgetā: 30 Moments That Made Women See These Men In A Different Light š²
Many coupled-up people would likely be able to pinpoint the moment they realized that things with their partner were getting serious; or that at least, they were very much into the person they were dating or spending time with.
Such moments donāt necessarily have to be grandioseāsometimes, something seemingly insignificant can make one weak at the knees more than a grand gesture would. Something like uttering words of affirmation that make a person feel loved and safe, or bringing them soup when theyāre sick, just to give a couple examples.
All sorts of cute situations like that were recently discussed on an āAsk Redditā thread, after one user asked the women in the community about something a guy has doneāintentionally or notāthat made them think, āWow, heās differentā (in a good way). Quite a few women shared their stories, so if youāre curious to read them or if youāre in need of a boost of wholesome, scroll down to find them on the list below and get ready to have your heart completely melted. Donāt say we didnāt warn you.
Below you will also find Bored Pandaās interviews with two dating coaches, Blaine Anderson and Amie Leadingham, who were kind enough to share their thoughts on the role small loving gestures play in a romantic relationship.
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We went to pick up our puppy and while I was getting pup settled in the back of the car, I look back and see my guy bent down and thanking the mama dog, promising her we would take care of her baby.
Been married over 15 years now.
He broke up with me because he was moving out of state for a job and I just wasn’t going to be able to follow him. He brought me flowers, snacks, dinner, cards, and I don’t remember what else to soften the blow.
When he came back to visit, I was struggling, hard, as in I could barely afford to feed myself. When he stopped by to see me, he had arms full of groceries to stock my fridge and pantry for weeks. He also kept trying to give me cash but I refused. After he left, I found money stuck under something on my counter (can’t remember what).
He died a few years later in a car accident.
Chris, you were one of a kind. I’ll never miss the opportunity to tell the world what a uniquely amazing human you were.
When my boyfriend (now husband) started dating, and things turned physical, he stopped how things were progressing and told me, “This goes however far you want it to. You say stop, we stop. You say slow down, everything slows. This is about you, I’ll be happy with whatever you choose.” At the time, he had no idea my only other experience had been through sexual as**ult. Hearing this, and what’s more experiencing his sincerity and how he was willing to do exactly as he said and let me set the pace of our relationship, helped start us out in a place of trust. We’ve been married for 10 years now and I’ve never been better cared for than I am by him.
In a recent interview with Bored Panda, dating coach Blaine Anderson noted that day-to-day life can become so consuming that it’s easy for people to forget to make any ongoing romantic efforts with a long-term partner. But even small gestures that donāt require that much effort can be a powerful way to keep romance alive in a relationship.
āI remember talking with an 80-year-old woman who’d been married for 50 years who told me she and her husband would still write cute little notes for each other, and leave them around the house for them to discover. Leaving short but thoughtful hand-written notes for your partner around the house like this is the perfect small, kind gesture to remind your partner you love them.ā
I was staying over his apartment for the first time. He went to go lock his door for the night but first said āHey just so you know Iām locking my door. This is the key to the front door.ā He didnāt want me to be alarmed by the sound of the door locking and he wanted to make sure I knew how to get out if I wanted to. It hadnāt even crossed my mind to feel unsafe or need a way out. He just considered how I might feel as a woman in a new guyās place. I had never experienced a man put himself in my shoes before like that or even go out of his way to make me feel me safe with such a simple gesture.
That was almost 7 years ago and weāre married now.
Anything that shows lack of ego, or being very comfortable in his masculinity. When my husband and I first met, he wore women’s sunglasses, cause the frame was a shape and fun color that he liked. He used to do cheerleading in middle school — was called gay a bunch for it, but he knew it wasn’t a bad thing to be gay and brushed it off. He just liked doing flips and feeling strong– he also became a black belt in karate for the same reasons. All of those were massive green flags to me.
One of his teachers apparently told him that, while girls that age didn’t realize what a catch he was and didn’t give him a lot of attention, he was gonna make some woman very happy one day for the exact reasons the girls ignored him in school. And she was so right.
Now, he’ll take a yoga class with me. He also makes his own instruments, puts himself between me and danger, and would do anything to make me happy and keep our little family safe. He pays the mortgage, works hard every day, and has strong close relationships with men AND women. I trust him with my life, and I know I will always be his priority. He is a very masculine man, and therefore feels absolutely no need to assert his masculinity or shy away from femininity. Everybody feels safe around him. Except the [abuser] he punched in the face in college, after he found out about what the guy did.
āI think people remember these little moments, gestures, or things both because they’re unexpected, and altruistic,ā Anderson said, discussing why some seemingly minor gestures are something people hold on to for years. āSometimes bigger acts of love are actually acts of apology, or acts of guilt. āInsignificantā gestures, like leaving a note for a loved one, can stand out because they’re pure and delightful.ā
When my husband was my boyfriend, I noticed that he always acknowledged everyone in the room. For instance, whenever we were in a room with my entire family, he would approach absolutely everyone, my dad, mom, sister, cousins, uncles, aunts, friends, and be able to establish a conversation, and a relationship with them eventually. Even my relativesā dog knew him to be the only one, that could set aside some time just to pet him.
At first, I thought that my boyfriend is just a social being, which I was appreciative of seeing as how I personally have been always a socially inept, awkward individual, but eventually this gift of his reaped dividends too, as when a close cousin of mine, letās say, fell in with the bad sort of crowd and was in desperate need of help and support, the only person she felt comfortable reaching out to, was my boyfriend, who was then able to pass word to the rest of the family, and also rescue her.
Iām a type 1 diabetic and I wear a pump which is basically a machine that helps track my blood sugar and give me insulin accordingly. When my blood sugar gets too low or too high the pump makes noises (a low tone for low [nonsense] and a high tone for high [nonsense]) my SO figured those tones out.
One night I was sitting on the couch scrolling and my pump signaled I had low blood sugar. He was in the kitchen and without a word being said went to the fridge and brought me a juice box. I didnāt know he knew and it felt really good to feel understood and that someone was actually taking the time to know me and my disability. We had only been dating for 2-3 months at this point.
I was FaceTiming a guy I was dating. My son, who was probably about 3-4 wakes up upset. I go to comfort him and take my phone with me.
Instead of wanting to hang up, he grabbed his guitar and played and sang for us.
We didnāt make it for unrelated reasons. No animosity or anything. But itās one of those memories that sets the bar in the future.
āI think certain moments stick with us because they catch us by surprise with their genuineness,ā Amie Leadingham said, sharing her two cents about why we remember the little things. āWhen your partner remembers some tiny detail you mentioned weeks ago, or instinctively knows when you need support, it shows they’re really paying attention. These unplanned moments feel special because they’re so authentic.ā
In high school, one of my guy friends who liked me baked me a big plate of chocolate chip cookies and randomly gave it to me one day. I finished the whole plate during one class, and he was impressed and also a bit horrified. I thought it was super cute and unusual for a dude to bake someone cookies.
He and I have been together going on 16 years, married for almost 7. How he baked me cookies is one thing I’ll never forget.
One of our first dates, a teen waitress spilled a whole glass of water on him when it was super busy and she was rushing about. Sheās started apologizing with tears almost running down her face and he took the time to console her, not even worrying about his clothes. He gave her a moment to breathe without the other customers by pretending to look busy with her before she went on her way feeling better. Iāve seen too many wait staff get treated poorly but watching him take care of her leads me to believe heās going to be an amazing father one day.
On our first date he showed me around the downtown area of the city he was currently living in at the time. He proceeded to show me his favorite dessert spot and bought me 2 cupcakes. He said, āThis one is for your grandmaā since I had told him earlier that I was living with her.
In Leadinghamās opinion, small, kind gestures are relationship gold. āWhen your partner brings you coffee and knows exactly how you like it or sends a random sweet text saying āI miss you,ā it shows they’re thinking about you even during their busy day. These small acts of thoughtfulness add up, making you see them as someone who truly cares about your happiness and lets you know,ā she noted.
I was snipping the plastic ring thingy, you know, that a six-pack of drinks comes in. I know itās probably a fruitless gesture butā¦.. turtles! I just do it on autopilot at this point. He asked me what I was doing, heād never heard this before, so I explained.
A couple weeks later, I walked into the kitchen unexpectedly, and totally startled himā¦ while he was snipping up a plastic thingy. Melted.
When I got my period at his place pretty early on in the relationship he didnāt make it awkward or acted disgusted, he got me pads and made me a hot water bottle and asked me if i want snacks and made sure that I drank water. The pharmacy was closed so he couldn’t get me pain meds but ever since he makes sure that they’re always in stock at home. I’m gonna marry him someday. Almost 2 years together and it feels like i met him just yesterday.
My husband and I have been together for 21 years, so Iāll share an anecdote that made me fall in love all over again.
We were at my husbandās fatherās funeral, and we were wrapping up at the cemetery, during the part where people take flowers from the spray as mementos. My husband took a white rose; then walked off about ten yards away. When we were leaving, I snuck a peek at the headstone and realized it was my husbandās baby brother, one who was born sleeping about 35 years ago. He didnāt say anything to anyone or make any mention, but that gesture will live in my memory forever.
The small authentic gestures often come as a surprise, which can make it all feel even more special. A poll of 2,000 adults found that nearly half of them believe that small surprises are more effective than grand gestures, such as an expensive dinner or an overnight stay in a fancy hotel.
āPleasant surprises keep the spark alive,ā Amie Leadingham added. āWhether it’s showing up with your favorite takeout or planning an unexpected date night, these moments show your partner is still trying to make you smile. They remind us not to take each other for granted.ā
Had been dating my (now) husband for about a month, maybe 2. One evening I was at home and he unexpectedly showed up at the door, and asked me to come out to his car. He just showed me a piece of wood heād bought. Turns out he bought it from near my house and as he was passing, he figured heād stop by and show me. Literally showed me his wood and left. I knew then that he wasnāt trying to play games or act in a certain way like other people Iād dated. That piece of wood is now our coffee table.
He asked me for my consent over and over with every act of intimacy, from s*xting (we were long distance at first) to first kiss to fooling around to having s*x. He led us in mature conversations about our wants & needs & boundaries, and then he followed through with what we talked about. And no matter what Iād previously said I wanted or was okay with, he still asked before acting every single time and would check in with me that things were still okay and comfortable for me even after I would give him consent.
And let me tell yāall, Iām describing a very soft & thoughtful & caring man here. But that does not mean he doesnāt still f*****g put. it. down. on. me. So to even have the example being displayed in front of me of a partner who can be dominant and in control but not ab*sive or dismissive. Didnāt actually know this existed.
We were 27 years old when we met & he was the first man Iād ever met who did any of those things. & now almost 4 years later, he still makes sure Iām physically and emotionally comfortable and safe every day.
I had been with my now husband for about six months when we did a road trip down south together. My dad is gone, so my husband never knew him, but he was a huge James Taylor fan and I am too by association. We stopped in Chapel Hill, North Carolina to see Mr. Taylor’s childhood home, the bridge named after him, and we hiked along Morgan Creek, which was one of his favorite song writing spots. It was something on my dad’s bucket list and he unfortunately never got to do it.
While we were hiking along the creek, I mentioned to my husband that I wanted to bring a rock back to put on my dad’s grave. I meant one from the shoreline or the trail.
He immediately ripped his shoes and socks off and waded into the creek, pulling up rocks and tossing them back if he didn’t think they were “good enough”. Eventually, he held one up and said “This one is Bob’s” and trekked back up through the muck to dry his legs off. All for a man he never knew.
I knew for certain that he was the one, and we were engaged a few months later.
Blaine Anderson compared pleasant surprises in a romantic relationship to garlic in pizza sauce: āYou don’t think about it as a key ingredient, but it’s bland as h**l without it,ā she said.
When it comes to the recipe of a happy relationship, though, thereās no garlic. The expert notes that there are three key things that make a romantic relationship work. She advises to:
- āThink for two. Happy people are pre-empting the needs of their partners; for example, fixing a snack for your girlfriend when you prepare one for yourself. This seems minor, but it sends the message āI’m in this with youā, while its absence sends the opposite message.
- āConsider whether your values and goals are aligned. For example, do you want kids? Where will you prioritize kids versus your career? I know tons of happy relationships where goals aren’t exactly in sync, but the closer they are in sync, the happier the relationship.
- āCommit. If one person in a relationship is always looking over their shoulder and wondering āIf I’d dated someone else, this wouldn’t be happeningā¦ā the relationship is doomed. Happy relationships are composed of two people who are fully bought in on participating.ā
Broke into my house to prepare a casserole and leave a note with cooking instructions. I was a busy single mother and weād been dating long enough that this wasnāt creepy.
When I started dating my guy he knows how obsessed I am with rocks and beach combing. We live on the beach and Iāll go look for shells for hours and he never complains. The first road trip we took together he took me to the biggest natural rock formation on the west coast. Morro Bay. Iām a grown a*s adult and he never made me feel stupid for my love of rocks and collecting and when we got there he said āI know how much you love rocks so I brought you to the biggest one I could. You just canāt take this one home unfortunatelyā (something along the lines of that) I start crying immediately because I was always made fun of by my previous relationships for it.
My husband and I had a 7 hour long first date. At the end of it, he shook my hand and said have a lovely night. I definitely wouldāve (and wanted him to) kiss me if not more lol. Anywho married almost ten years now.
In Amie Leadinghamās opinion, the real key to a happy relationship is deep trust, honest communication, supporting each other’s dreams, and finding that sweet spot between growing together and staying true to ourselves.
āNever stop being curious about each other, even years into the relationship,ā she added.
I went out with this guy I was newly dating, plus three other friends one time. We went to the food court to eat, and all of five of us had different food choices so we went on our own to order.Ā
Unfortunately my food took longer to make and eventually I saw the four of them (including the guy I was dating) back on the table with all their food.Ā
Finally, when I got my food, I went to our table to see the three of my friends digging on their plates while his was untouched.
I asked, āIs something wrong with your food? Why havenāt you touched it?ā
He said, āI was waiting for youā. I swear, I never forgot that moment.Ā
Iām now married to him.Ā
EDIT:
Let me just add that my food took about 5 minutes longer than theirs. I was already expecting them to be eating ahead, and I DIDNāT, nor EXPECTED him or the group to be waiting for me.
It was the gesture of him waiting for me while everyone else was eating that made me feel that this guyās a keeper š¤.
When I first started dating my now-husband, I had just come out of yet another relationship where I wasnāt treated well. Iād been with people who werenāt genuine and showed all the classic f**kboy behavior. At that point, I honestly thought there was something wrong with my ability to pick the right men, so I took a long break from dating to focus on myself.
Then my husband came along. On our 3rd or 4th date, he told me he had something important to discuss. My mind immediately went to Oh [darn], whatās he about to drop on me? But instead, he said, āI just want to be clearāI really like you. Iām not dating just to date. Iām dating with the intention of marriage, and I want to make sure weāre on the same page.ā
I was floored. In all my years of dating, no one had ever been that intentional or upfront with me. It completely changed the game.
I had a difficult childhood, and at one point survived on cans of Spam and sardines. I offhandedly mentioned to him how I always keep at least a can of each in my pantry at all times, because it gives me a sense of peace and safety to know there is something to eat. We weren’t even dating at the time, I visited on the weekends to help with his garden, but the next time I visited, he showed me the several cans of Spam and sardines he bought in the pantry. He told me he wanted me to always feel safe with him and his home, and he will never let either of those items run out. Been together for a little over 3 years now.
When we were young, dating and still living with our respective parents, my car motor blew and I didnāt have rides to work. He would drop his car off to me after he got out of work in the middle of the night while I was asleep and walk home so I had a way to work in the morning.
Edit: I say when we were young but weāre still pretty young at 25 lol but we just got married in September after 13 years of dating :).
This seems small but I dated so many guys who would bring up their exes, blaming them for everything, calling them crazy, calling them names. When talking about past relationships, my boyfriend only spoke about how grateful he was to have experienced love and for the time he did spend with his exes. He spoke with respect about the women before me. I still remember that over a decade later. And it did foreshadow how life would be with him. He’s been the most kind, understanding, and patient man to have ever been in my life.
His “pick-up” line after a few dates in public was, “Do you want to come home and meet my cats?”. Yes, yes I do.
He is now my husband and the most kind, patient, and loving person I have ever known. (We now have 3 cats and 2 dogs.).
The way he treats every stranger. He always nods to people, greets every person with a “hello sir/ma’am” (he’s not southern). I’ve seen him stop to help numerous strangers. Lady with her hands full who drops something he’s on it, someone yells from across the street he goes to make sure they’re OK, kid locked out if his house, he figures out how to contact their parents. Or even something small like just holding the door open for someone. He truly treats everyone equally. From a maintenence worker to a doctor, he will acknowledge you and treat you with genuine respect. Its not something I see in anyone else, and I strive to be more like him.
I introduced this guy to my mother who is a narcissist and usually incredibly charming to people. I thought he would be dismissive with my complaints/fears and fall for the strict parent cos she cares c**p which was far from reality. He saw through my mother’s [nonsense] immediately.
I married him.
I ugly cried in front of him. He wiped my tears and picked up my wet tissues with his hand to throw them in the bin and then he got me another tissue box.
Gross yes, but that was the moment when he first stood out to me.
Okay for those saying tears arenāt gross Iām gonna be straight up. MY TISSUES WERE FILLED WITH SNOT.
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