Many consider Christmas dinners occasions in themselves. Some would even prepare lavish spreads for the evening, which would require a ton of effort. However, life and adulting obligations can sometimes get in the way, and such plans fail to push through.
This is what happened to a full-time nurse, who wasn’t able to cook Christmas dinner for her husband and in-laws. It became a problem for her mother-in-law, who expected her to put together a feast for the celebration.
Out of exhaustion and a sense of urgency, she served some leftover pizza, which led to full-blown family drama.
For many people, the holidays can be a season of family drama
Tired woman in medical scrubs with stethoscope at computer, reflecting frustration after reheating pizza leftovers.
While personality disorders may be one root cause of having a sense of entitlement, it’s not always the case. According to licensed social worker JudeTrefer-Wolff, it could also be due to their inability to see their child as a full-grown adult who lives their own life.
“A need to remain the authority figure in a son’s life, even when that is no longer appropriate, can make a mother-in-law feel that her son’s wife is in the wrong, simply because, to her, boundaries are a symbol of being pushed out,” she told Bored Panda.
Generational beliefs can sometimes be at play, which are steeped in hierarchy, tradition, and misguided loyalty, according to licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Nick Bach. As he explained, a mother-in-law may feel abandoned and struggle as to whether she is worth having in her son’s life.
What made this story more frustrating for the woman is that her husband sided with his mother. According to licensed marriage and family therapist Justin Perry, that makes the situation much worse, especially in the long term.
“Typically, conflict between MILs and DILs has more to do with the relationship between the DIL’s husband and his mother,” Perry said. “These husbands often have not ‘grown up’ enough to set boundaries with their mothers and fully commit to their wives.”
Being in the tough spot she is in, how does the author handle her entitled mother-in-law? Perry believes this is more of a marital issue where the husband must “grow up enough to stand up” for his wife. Therefore, he advises focusing on the spousal relationship instead of engaging in conflict with the mother-in-law.
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Meanwhile, Dr. Bach stresses the importance of professional help, particularly to address specific issues such as conflict avoidance, communication, people-pleasing, and fear of confrontation.
For her sake, it may help the author to get into therapy, especially since it does not look like she has anyone on her side. A professional can help guide her through the turmoil and provide practical strategies to communicate with her husband.
Most people sided with the author
Reddit discussion about woman reheating pizza leftovers for MIL who showed up unannounced during Christmas and the resulting backlash.
Text conversation showing a heated discussion about reheating pizza leftovers for MIL when she arrives unannounced on Christmas.
Screenshot of a Reddit conversation about reheating pizza leftovers for MIL when she arrives unannounced at Christmas.
Screenshot of a Reddit conversation about a woman reheating pizza leftovers for her mother-in-law and receiving harsh criticism.
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Screenshot of a Reddit thread discussing a woman reheating pizza leftovers for MIL who shows up unannounced for Xmas.
Text post from a forum where a woman discusses reheating pizza leftovers for her MIL who showed up unannounced for Christmas.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman reheating pizza leftovers for MIL when she shows up unannounced for Christmas.
Alt text: Woman reheats pizza leftovers for MIL who shows up unannounced at Christmas and faces backlash from family.
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Text comment on a social media post discussing a Christmas family conflict involving reheating pizza leftovers for MIL when she arrives unannounced.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman reheating pizza leftovers for her mother-in-law who showed up unannounced for Christmas.
Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a woman reheating pizza leftovers for MIL who showed up unannounced at Christmas.
Screenshot of a forum post discussing a woman reheating pizza leftovers for her MIL who showed up unannounced at Christmas.
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Screenshot of a Reddit comment criticizing sexist behavior during a family dispute involving reheating pizza leftovers for MIL.
Text conversation discussing a woman reheating pizza leftovers for MIL who showed up unannounced for Christmas and the resulting conflict.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment reading NTA with advice to take days off and find a good lawyer about reheating pizza leftovers for MIL.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman reheating pizza leftovers for her MIL who showed up unannounced for Christmas.
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Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman reheating pizza leftovers for her MIL who showed up unannounced at Christmas.
Comment criticizes demanding MIL and insensitive husband after woman reheats pizza leftovers when MIL visits unannounced at Christmas.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment where a nurse advises against feeling bad, discussing MIL and work schedule challenges.
Comment discusses woman reheating pizza leftovers for MIL who showed up unannounced during Christmas holiday visit.
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Comment from SoValkyrieMama discussing why the husband couldn’t cook when woman reheats pizza leftovers for MIL unannounced at Xmas.
Comment discussing family conflicts in response to woman reheating pizza leftovers for MIL during unexpected Christmas visit.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment explaining why reheating pizza for MIL during Christmas is unreasonable and unsafe amid the pandemic.
Woman reheats pizza leftovers for MIL arriving unannounced at Christmas, facing harsh criticism in family dispute.
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Comment on woman reheating pizza leftovers for MIL when she shows up unannounced during Christmas dinner discussion.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman reheating pizza leftovers for her mother-in-law who showed up unannounced.
Reddit comment discussing a woman reheating pizza leftovers for MIL when she shows up unannounced for Christmas.
Woman reheats pizza leftovers for MIL who shows up unannounced at Christmas and faces harsh criticism from family members.
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Screenshot of an online comment criticizing a husband and family for sexist behavior and poor treatment of a woman.
Woman reheats pizza leftovers for MIL during unannounced Christmas visit and faces harsh family reaction online.
However, a few people found a way to fault her
Comment discussing why reheating pizza leftovers for mother-in-law on Christmas night is seen as inconsiderate and insulting.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment criticizing reheating pizza for Christmas dinner and serving it to guests as disgusting.
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