đ€Ż INCRĂVEL: 57 Things Men Keep To Themselves But Actually Would Like To Tell Women đČ
Most of us would probably like to be more open and honest with each other, but in real life, thatâs often easier said than done. Online, though, people tend to be much more willing to say whatâs actually on their mind.
So when one Redditor asked men what theyâve always wanted to tell women but never do, plenty of them were willing to share. Scroll down to read their answers and get a glimpse into their thoughts.
We sometimes feel totally clueless about how you think or feel. We want to get it right but we rarely admit when weâre lost in translation, because we donât want to seem weak or dumb. And a lot of guys secretly want to hear you say you trust us. Itâs weird how simple some of these things are, yet we bottle them up. If you want, I can give you a short list of like 5 more things that men always keep to themselves but are dying to say.
She always told me to tell her if she ever sounded like her mother. Thatâs never going to happen. The telling her part.
When I see an outfit tha’s pretty cool, or an awesome hairstyle, I want to compliment them. But I donât want to come off like I am flirting. I am happily married, and donât want people to think that I am being flirtatious with someone that isnât my wife.
YOU CAN CHOOSE WHEREVER YOU WANT TO EAT
IF YOU DON’T WANT TO CHOOSE, WE CAN EAT WHEREVER I WANT TO EAT
YOU CAN’T CHOOSE TO DO NEITHER OF THESE.
Sometimes we like to be wined and dined too! Maybe not in fancy restaurants, it we like to be appreciated.
Honestly sometimes in the gym, some of you gals are hella strong, sometimes i wanna compliment but worried itâll come off creepy.
like i have the love of my life already – but donât want it come off weird.
That peace matters more than drama.
A woman who brings calm, respect, and loyalty stands out more than she may realize.
I know mansplaining happens but i genuinely just like talking amd explaining things im passionate and informed on and youre giving me attention so sorry you got sucked into my info dump. I know you probably do know this thing im yammering on about, or at least are aware and smart enough to figure it out, but when I start a sentence im cursed with finishing the thought or I cant sleep at night. Im sorry if none of it is new or profound.
Yes, Im aware that this is also, in effect, kinda mansplaining…
Stop bringing up up problems and anxieties just before we are about to go to sleep.
Happy to hear and listen throughout the day, but when my heads on the pillow, the lights are out, Iâm in sleep mode, and Iâm just gonna resent being tired the next day.
Being pregnant/on the time of the month/menopausal/post-partum is NO EXCUSE for treating people poorly/being a jerk.
If it wouldnât be acceptable to treat the McDonaldâs drive thru worker that way then what makes it ok for you to treat a child or your husband that way?
That other girls also look good⊠just because weâre in a relationship doesnât mean that other people stop being attractive.
Itâs just important that you donât stare or act on anything and just be respectful.
I had a friend with really bad breath who always complained about being single. I don’t think anyone had it in them to tell her.
Compliment us. I genuinely teared up when a gay man (very respectfully) hit on me. He complimented my jacket n shoes and complimented my color coordination. He very quickly realized I wasnât gay and the conversation turned into sports rather quickly. But, I always think about that day.
The silly things I do mean a lot to me. That T-shirt with the dumb print? I really like it. If you let me be vulnerable with small joys, I will be vulnerable with bigger things.
We love you in all your forms.
Tall and short, slim and full-figured, bright and modest, funny and serious, beautiful and unique, graceful and clumsy, dressed and naked, close to us and barely known, independent and shy, smart and simple, loud and quiet â all of you.
We often find it difficult to express our love without sounding rude or inappropriate.
But we love you.
You are the most important part of our lives.
We actually do get our feelings hurt. we just dont say anything because we were taught not to. its exhausting tbh.
Read bell hooks “The will to change”Â
Also my need to explicitely clarify boundaries alongside how i communicate with you comes because I want to ensure I am not violating your boundaries more than I am satisfying my desires and because of my in the momment concerns that come about as a result of what i recognize in your actions.
I legitimately did mean every kind thing I say because the momments we spent together represented for me finding someone who for once was as close to finding someone who could even slightly understsnd me as they could.
That we notice the little things you do and I really appreciate them but it feels awkward to just drop that randomly. But itâs not that men donât want to share, itâs just that some truths feel too raw to say without overthinking.
It is emotionally manipulative, or at best emotionally immature, to get upset at me because you did something that made me get upset at you.
So many grown women, either intentionally or not, create situations where itâs hard to be forthcoming about your own feelings because if the man gets upset the woman takes it personally and gets upset about that. Now Iâm in a situation where Iâm apologizing even though youâre the one who messed up. Itâs effectively punishing me for being open with you about my feelings. Itâs not healthy.
We would like to be able to be more vulnerable but you seem to like us less when we show that side.
Stop following fashion trends. They are just there to rip you off and make you buy garbage you donât need. And some of them make you look outright ridiculous.
For me;
The reason I was taking things slow wasnât because I wasnât taking things seriously. Itâs because I have a really bad trauma response when it comes to trusting people because of my childhood. So talking to you (partner) was difficult and every part of my body was telling me not to trust you because youâll just hurt me like everyone else did, including my family. But you seem good enough to trust and just take the leap of faith on.
Iâve only ever gotten to the path of a relationship twice in my life, both times I was laughed off or disrespected to the point where I could feel my old panic attack kick in, for being too âslowâ in the process of leading to a relationship. So as you can see my trust issues have gotten pretty extreme now, I joke that itâd probably take me a year of talking to someone to actually trust them enough to go on a first date. This genuinely messed with my head even worse because Iâve been going to therapy for 16 years for things that have happened to me and some women feel disrespected when you donât follow a specific timeline. Which then leads to them thinking youâre playing them or not actively moving the momentum. So yeah, if youâre talking to a guy who seems nervous, shy, or âslowâ in momentum. Thereâs a chance (not always) but thereâs a chance that itâs coming from a traumatic response.
Iâm still hopeful Iâll find a woman/man who actually understands me because I know what I want and need in a relationship.
Edit: I hope this doesnât sound like Iâm putting women down, Iâve had plenty of really nice and respectful women in my life, although I wasnât available at the time they completely understood and treated me so well. 𫶠thank you to all the kind hearted women out there who made me feel safe in the dating world.
The feeling of purpose they’re love gives us, wanting to be there no matter how corny it sounds laying my life for you. The thoughts and memories good or bad fuel my everyday. You don’t just give me the sense of belonging but the urge to fight. Even when I fail just merly the scent of you pushes me to get up and continue. To you I devote my life, my friend who’s seen me at my lowest who’s seen me bare with nothing to hide behind. I choose you. Even when upset, I’ll choose you, my life, my purpose.
I’m not following you; we happened to be going in the same direction. This is as awkward for me as it is for you. I’d love to get your attention and tell you I want to overtake so I can walk in front, but calling out is weird. Me speeding up to overtake with no announcement is also weird….rock and a hard place. Guess I’ll wait and tie my already tied shoes or something.
Many men secretly wish they could express to women how much they long for emotional safety and true appreciation. They frequently experience silent pressure to be the “unshakable provider” while secretly yearning for a place where they can be vulnerable without fear of rejection.
We low-key love when you ask for our opinion, even if we act like itâs a hassle. Just say the word!
That most âsweetâ womenâs perfumes smell vile, they smell far better without them.
Making yourself a martyr unnecessarily is not in any way helpful. Weâll just resent you for not trusting us enough to ease your burden. Let us help you instead of trying to win gold in the suffering Olympics.
Us being quiet, or zoning out, does not mean we’re mad. It also does not mean we’re starved for something to occupy our time. It means we’ve shut off our brains for a little bit of oblivion time.
We don’t know why you can’t get there and we can’t tell you how. But it’s nice there and we like to spend a little bit of every day there.
I wish you showed me the same level of attention to my feelings that I show you.
I had a coworker in my company, she does not listen fully but always intrupt between talk and she is still single. I want to tell her but i fear she might interupt again and cover her major fault and will not accept.
Why do you get to be upset because I’m trying to solve your problems instead of just being an ear but I can’t be upset with you when I tell you mine and you just want to listen instead of helping me?
Why don’t these things go both ways? Why is your point of view automatically the high ground?
That when we go quiet mid conversation we are not mad, we are just thinking about something completely unrelated. could be anything. sometimes it is a movie from 2003. it means nothing.
My experience has been with women, but this goes for everyone. All the guys I know are simple creatures and logic/solution oriented (not implying they’re not emotional). I’m bad at guessing games, I’m not going to know exactly what you want for your birthday, I don’t like surprises, if you come to me with a problem, my first response is going to be how to solve that problem and none of that can be changed. I’m waaaay dumber than you think and the only thing on my mind is where I left off in my save file.
Not speaking for all men here, but I love how much easier it is for me to get along with women than men. Also, women are freaking awesome, tough, and make the world go round, men are babies…
I’m sure these are unpopular opinions, but something I want to get off my chest.
When you ask us to fix something and we do, please don’t say “I could have done that.”We know you could have. You asked us to. We did it. Just let it be a nice moment.
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