𤯠INCRĂVEL: âThey Will NEVER Watch My Childâ: 41 Horrible Mothers-In-Law Who Made This March Absolutely Miserable For Everyone Around Them đ˛
Just a quick rant: beginning of February I got admitted to the hospital with brain hemorrhage and while checking they found a tumor. I spent the night in the hospital crying and hoping to see my baby (I am a first time mom to a now 4 month old) grow up.
Fast forward a few days I am allowed to go home. While cuddling with my husband and watching some videos together on his phone he receives a message from his mother, asking if he actually heard a doctor saying that I had a tumor. And to confirm to make sure it is trueâŚ
I have never ever ever ever lied to my husband. There is really no reason to suspect me of doing something like this. (Also he visited me in the hospital which she knew. How would I be able to fabricate such a lie????) I was just so overwhelmed that I didnât say anything. Also my head was still hurting a lot and I simply couldnât handle any fight with my husband, because again: tumor. Still scared. Headache.
But even now I am so full of rage. She doesnât like me. But that is a new low. Havenât talked to my husband yet because I still easily get headaches, especially when I am distressed. Also my life is not out of danger and I donât want to spend my days with negative feelings/ having fights / discussions. But i hate her with a newfound passion.
My husband(40m) and I(40F)have reached a point where we are talking about splitting up. We have 2 children (3yo and 10 months).
Ever since my 3yo was born my in-laws, in particular MIL, have exhibited bizarre behaviour.
3 months post-partum my MIL told me my husband was having a secret relationship online and that this woman was the most special woman in his heart. I knew she was lying. She also told me she had terminal cancer to try and get me to move countries (she was cancer free) and said that I was breast feeding my baby too much and didnât vaccinate my child (false) and as a result she would be taking my child away from me and back to Europe. My husband sat there silent when she said this.
I have a whole list of other incidents – it goes on and on. Her behaviour has gotten better but not good. Whenever I bring it up my husband yells at me and says Iâm too sensitive, that his mother denies saying these things, that I need to see a doctor for problems with my memory.
I would be broke if I left my husband. Have only held basic admin jobs, have a heart problem and get out of breath lifting things or doing exercise. If I left, I would never own a place my kids could call home, and if my health issues flare up, fear I would lose custody of my kids.
But I also think of the relief of not having these in-laws, of not breaking down crying when husband starts to yell and rant about all my flaws. Of not being expected to move to Europe to take care of in-laws in their old age. Is this selfish of me to leave a marriage because I donât want these in-laws in my life?
Pop culture has basically made the mother-in-law (MIL) the default villain. In sitcom jokes or movie plots, sheâs usually the one meddling, criticizing, overstepping, or making everything about herself.
Thereâs the classic wedding drama where she insists on controlling the guest list, or the passive-aggressive comments dropped at family dinners â itâs a trope weâve all seen a hundred times.
But the stereotype is rooted in real-life, albeit exaggerated, family tensions.
A lot of these stories reflect boundary violations, parents who are a little too interfering, or the all-too-familiar âmamaâs boyâ dynamic.
So I (26f) and my husband (26m) are expecting our first child and the first grandchild on both sides. I am currently 34 weeks and husband and I have been on the same page almost the whole time. We talk anything through and come to a compromise if we donât just agree. Recently my SIL (who is wonderful) told me my MIL had been telling family and friends how excited she is to watch her grandchild be born. I have a good relationship with my MIL, I think sheâs a decent person but we arenât super close. We also bought a house a little over a year ago which is a little over an hour from where they live. She always makes weird comments that âwe hate them and thatâs why we moved so far.â We moved so far cause there was very little available for sale any closer, we also love our house. (Sorry for the side quest but I feels important)
Either way we are expecting this baby next month and I want a very private birth, just my husband, myself and only necessary medical staff. I am not unfriendly but I am pretty anti social, the idea of being âsurrounded by loved onesâ just feels overwhelming for me. She is very much like a âhave a villageâ type so I totally understand we are different personalities but why on earth are you telling people youâll be there if you havenât even asked the people actually having a baby??? My own mother wonât be there and she thinks itâs weird to want to be there. We also plan on isolating for at least a week while we adjust to going from 2 to 3 and enjoy our time to bond with the baby⌠so we also have to tell her we wonât be excepting visitors for that time.
Basically AITA for being upset sheâs telling all these people how involved sheâs going to be without being invited or even asking us what we think or want? As a side quest her and FIL had not been very supportive of us in general, like they are happy for us but never help us in ways my family volunteers to. Like we will be taking down dead trees and my family volunteers to help for the day and we will host them for dinner after but if they get wind of it they just expect to be invited for dinner.
This has really bothered me for a year. I had my son via c section and had a really hard time managing all the laundry etc. We were out BBQing one day and I let it slip that my mom is coming to help me around the house. My MIL LAUGHED!! and says âyour poor mother!!!â Turns to SIL and says âListen to this!â But SIL had my back and says âI wish youâd help me sometimes!â Shut her right up. Just such an awful response to a newly postpartum mother. For background, MIL is extremely lazy and didnât lift a finger to help me after baby. She wonât even go to the grocery store alone. I keep her at such a distance Iâm sure she notices and resents me for it. Sheâll never miss a chance to call me out or hurt my feelings. I grey rock TH out of her but am SWEET AS PIE. I treat her like I treat my bossâŚshe gets my professional side. Just an awful person.
But does real life reflect reel life, or is it the other way around? Research shows itâs actually a mix of both, and the two feed off each other.
Experts say a lot of MIL drama comes from mothers feeling left out or like their values arenât being respected. Suddenly, their kid is starting a new life, and theyâre no longer the center of attention. Thatâs when the helpful advice starts to slide into micromanaging everything.
Usually, it begins at the wedding itself. The in-laws might try to dictate the guest list or oversee the dĂŠcor. Sometimes, itâs really just a way to regain a sense of control.
JNMIL has made it very clear that she hates breastfeeding. She didnât do it, no neither should I. Well, it was my goal to breastfeed for as long as LO wants. Currently 13 months in, it hasnât always been easy and it asks a lot of your body but Iâm proud at us for making it this far. JNMIL has been everything but supportive. To sum up briefly, she:
– Told me to stop BFing 1,5 week after LO was born, just because she felt like âitâs not necessary to breastfeedâ
– Complained continuously that I did not pump enough milk for LO
– When Summer arrived, her complains changed to LO should be drinking water instead of milk, heâs getting way too fat (this is literally based on nothing but her stupid opinion, LO is and always has been far from too fat)
For a while she shut up. Or maybe she didnât, but I avoid and ignore her most of the time. My partner stopped telling me about her complains because she drives me crazy.
But today she decided to come at me again. My partner told her that the last couple of days LO hasnât been interested in his midday bottle. Iâm hoping to stop pumping at work, so I told my partner to ask his mom how LO responded to todayâs bottle. When I got home from work, she was ecstatic because LO refused his bottle. Iâve never seen her so happy. She even said: LO is finally starting solids properly! Mind you: LO has been eating solids for months, while also drinking milk. Isnât that the way itâs supposed to be for 13 months olds?
I guess she really hates giving the bottle with my pumped milk. Maybe itâs too confronting for her to be constantly reminded of how she did not breastfeed. She told me (multiple times, sheâs a chronic repeater, yuk) that she did not want to, so itâs not like she couldnât do it or anything. I donât know if thatâs true. All I know is that breastfeeding for 13+ months has been the hardest yet most beautiful thing Iâve ever done and I canât believe sheâs trying to take this away from us.
So this year my child begged me to not sign her up for the free summer camp that her school provides for the two months she has off. I took her out early last time anyways because she complained of bullying and boredom. Fine by me because I have plenty of family that would love to spend time with her while Iâm working. Now my ex and I have set days but during the summer it can change up a bit so she spends time with her grandparents. My ex mil found out thereâs no summer camp and she lost her mind. Saying she NEEDS to have a summer activity or she will be so bored and under stimulated. I told her realistically I canât afford summer camp and that my child doesnât like the school summer camp. She said it doesnât matter and sheâs bored when she stays with them. I told her thatâs fine then Iâll find other accommodations with my family if thereâs an issue at their household. She didnât like that answer and has been texting and calling me constantly to which I ignore because I canât deal with telling her that itâs not up to her itâs my child and if she wants to pay for something sheâs more than welcome to. My child has tutoring and one dance class over the summer regardless. I work full time and have no support from my ex,her son. Am I wrong for letting my child enjoy her break time as she wants and not shove her into extra extracurriculars when she doesnât want to?
It’s been awhile since I posted here. We finally moved into our house 2 weeks ago, Mil calls my partner saying she doesn’t like being alone, isn’t coping well and feels unsafe in her own house. I over heard a little conversation on the phone but only with what my partner was saying. My stress spiked instantly and I knew what they were talking about. It sounds like my partner is allowing her to build a granny flat/demountable behind our shed. I have already brought it up in the past how I will leave if he allows this, but this time he got really angry at me and tells me it’s going to be completely separate, fenced off and her own power meter reader ect. However I don’t agree with this still, nothing is ever fully separate, she’ll be on the same block and close to our house still.
We have a 5 acer block and its not that far out but long diagonally if that makes sense, so to me a flat will be pretty close to the main house. We have a nearly 5 month old baby, I’m really thinking of ending my relationship. I’d rather be single then be in a thruple relationship with his mother forever. I have already lived with her before for a year and hated it, she didn’t treat me well post partum either and was weirdly over protective with my baby and constantly hogged her as a newborn for hours, when I tried to take her back she’d refuse half the time because my baby would fall asleep being held and I’d go back to the bedroom anxious for hours.
If none of this makes any sense please go back to my previous posts on here sorry my head is messy right now. Has anyone lived in my situation? Is it easier to be single then to he with a enmeshed partner? Living with her she’d always be in his business and ours….
Family systems theory helps us collect another piece of the puzzle: something called triangulation.
The theory explains that when relationships get stressful, a third person can sneak into the mix â they will try to stay involved or keep themselves at the center of the action.
That third party can be a parent, friend, or even a relative.
In this dynamic, one person relies on someone else to communicate or influence a situation, instead of directly talking to both parties involved.
For example, a MIL might call her son to complain about something the couple did instead of speaking to both of them, or she might vent to other family members before the couple even has a chance to talk.
Itâs not always about being mean; itâs about staying relevant in a suddenly shifting family setup.
MIL bought my two youngest kids sharpie markers to color some Easter decorations and set them loose on my wooden kitchen table – either completely unaware that kids canât color in the lines, or deliberately trying to piss me off. The table is now permanently stained, short of sanding and refinishing the entire table.
CW: animal cruelty/neglect – animal is okay
My in-laws watched our dog this weekend while we were out of town – something theyâve done many times before and were seemingly happy to do. They live about 45 minutes from us and have dogs of our own that all get along very well. Drop off on Saturday, pick up on Sunday. I was hesitant for my dog to stay with them, not because of anything that has previously happened, but just from the issues weâve been having as a family (off hand comments, crossing boundaries with our baby, etc.). My husband swore it would be fine, so I said okay.
When we came through on Sunday to pick up our pup, my husband went inside to get him and talk with his parents while I stayed in the truck with our baby and my parents. It was already 8 pm, and I had just heard devastating news not even 30 minutes before that one of my team members at work, along with her 6 year old stepson, was brutally [unalived] by her husband / the childâs father. I couldnât really function in the moment outside of the truck. We get home, and my husband says âHey, I didnât want to drop this on you when you had just heard the news about work, but I need to tell you what happened this weekend with the dog.â
He proceeds to tell me that his parents fed our dog onion rings, and when my husband pressed why on earth they would do that because theyâre toxic to dogs, my MIL said âwell they were fried???â This is a conversation weâve had before when weâve seen them feed their own dogs foods that are toxic. I also found out that they willfully withheld my dogâs seizure medication for two doses. No reason given other than they just didnât do it. Didnât forget, dog didnât refuse to take it. I know – shame on us for even having our pup stay with them. Iâve been sick to my stomach and trying to let my husband handle his parents, which he does a very good job of, and heâs addressing this situation, but we shouldnât have had them watch our dog at all. Iâm grateful pup is okay! Also reiterates why they will NEVER watch my child.
Update to add: my husband DID talk to his mother this evening and told her why we were so mad, and she hung up on him when he said weâre boarding our pup to ensure he gets appropriate care. My husband will also be driving to their house tomorrow to reiterate to their faces where they canât just hang up why this is such a big deal.
So last week MIL showed up with a Uâhaul van full of old furniture she âdidnât have room forâ anymore. didnât ask, just parked in the driveway and started dragging stuff into the garage. my husband gave me the âjust let her, itâll be easierâ look, and i was too stunned to say anything. now our garage is basically a hoarder annex. i canât even park my car in there because of her old china cabinet that smells like mothballs.
Iâve told her three times we donât have space, but she just laughs and says âoh you kids have plenty of room, youâre not even using the garage!â like, maâam, that garage is for my car and the occasional project, not your 1980s ceramic doll collection. she also made a comment about how âgratefulâ i should be because some of this stuff is âfamily heirlooms.â itâs not heirlooms, itâs a broken treadmill she bought on facebook marketplace last year.
My husband finally agreed to talk to her, but heâs dragging his feet. iâm honestly at the point where iâm gonna start listing things on craigslist for free. if she asks, iâll just say the garage âateâ it. uâd think a grown woman would understand that my house isnât her personal storage unit, but here we are. i just needed to vent because iâm tired of tripping over her weird lamp collection every time i grab a trash bag.
A recent study found that both men and women report having more conflict with their mothers-in-law (44%) than with their own mothers (39%).
Most conflicts tend to center on money and childcare. âThese issues are central to a successful marriage as they are both central to long-term reproductive success, as resources and the time and effort spent on kin care are finite,â the study notes.
A lot of in-law conflicts might actually come down to something called âgenetic conflict.â
Basically, people naturally act in ways that favor their own family, sometimes without even realizing it, which can lead to disagreements.
When I was pregnant my MIL declared that she wants to be called Omama and not Oma (we live in Germany) to be set apart from the other grandparents. We first had a good laugh about it but then it started to annoy us. We are totally fine if our son comes up with a name for her. But Omama is so close to Mama. I keep refering to her as Oma and she always corrects me. The last time she was quiet upset. I CHOOSE TO BE CALLED OMAMA. I told her that I canât bring myself to call her so but I need to bring this up again and tell her firmly that my husband and I will not call her Omama.
What do you all think? Am I just overthinking it? Should I let it go?
I just need to get this off of my chest. I already know how crazy this situation is, I know. But Iâm being gaslit so often that I need outside opinions.
So, MIL has been extremely invasive, obsessive, and toxic during my pregnancy, labor, & postpartum.(Baby is 5 weeks now) She would always claim pregnant women arenât fragile and didnât care about any of my symptoms. She claimed my newborn wasnât fragile, has a better immune system than I let on, and that I shouldâve brought him over to her house at 3 DAYS OLD. (Her partner had a stomach bug that same night) CRAZY!!!
I didnât want anyone to know when I went into labor until after my baby was born. She stalked my partners location and questioned us during my early labor âwhy are you guys at the hospital?â She of course shows up and holds my son 5 hours after his birth. She insisted on driving us home from the hospital on our discharge day. She insisted on driving us to babyâs first pediatrician visit the following day. She refers to my baby as her baby and âI miss my little babyâ .
She has come over so many times unannounced to me, going through my partner for permission, and still complains she doesnât see him enough and that she needs 1 on 1 time. Iâve had my baby cry in her arms and when I try to take him to breastfeed, my partner hands her a bottle or sheâll tell him âno Iâm feeding himâ.
Weâve been out to lunch where sheâs held my child the entirety of the meal; walking up and down the isles to soothe him. We went to a museum today where she complained to her sister who approached us and says âyour mom wants to hold the baby, you guys are hogging him.â
Iâve had a conversation in the car heading to a location expressing how I want to hold my baby instead of her and had my partner immediately grab baby out of the car seat and hand him over to his mom who proceeds to play âmommyâ and treat my son as hers.
People have walked by and said âcongratulations on the babyâ and sheâll say thank you!! HOW DELUSIONAL!!! Iâve been on many occasions ready to say something and not very kindly either. But my partner stops me every time and screams from the rooftops toâŚnot worry about it, heâll handle it, and heâll be my advocate. His actions CLEARLY say otherwise and I feel disrespected all around by EVERYONE.
My boundaries have been crossed. Iâm the mother and Iâm uncomfortable with how all of the in-laws are treating MIL like SHE’S the mother and is entitled to sooo much precious time with MY NEWBORN!!! Whenever someone even touches my baby they immediately fold to her will and give them to her. They have been the sole cause of my postpartum anxiety. Baby is my perfect little angel and brings me my only glimpses of joy. Iâm holding so much resentment and Iâm at the point to where Iâm on the verge of a disrespectful crashout that I know is warranted, and will probably crumble the entire family structure. Oh well. Any advice?
I donât understand this very common mindset of JNMILs.
When my in-laws visited us in the hospital after I gave birth, JNMIL thanked me for giving her a baby. Weird but ok, we didnât have our baby for her.
Then a few weeks later she was holding my son and says, âI feel like heâs my baby!â and seemed genuinely sincere about it. DH immediately responded, âokay psychopath?â Itâs just very unsettling to me, like she views me as a vessel.
Sheâs been so inappropriate (as you can read in my post history) but I also feel bad at times for feeling this much rage because sheâs basically exploding with excitement. It doesnât mean I have to accept her pushy, entitled behavior though.
Mothers reported slightly less friction with their son-in-law than with their daughter-in-law.
This fits with what many of us already suspect, and what pop culture has long shown, that the mother and daughter-in-law relationship can be especially tricky.
Experts say itâs the female stereotypes that are to blame.
âThe conflict often arises from an assumption that each is criticizing or undermining the other woman. But this mutual unease may have less to do with actual attitudes and far more to do with persistent female stereotypes that few of us manage to shake off completely,â Dr. Terri Apter, a psychologist from Cambridge University, writes in her book.
âBoth the mother and the wife are struggling to achieve the same position in the family â primary woman. Each tries to establish or protect their status. Each feels threatened by the other.â
My wife (35F) is pregnant of our third child. She had a very complicated relashionship with her parents, espcially her mother, who is very traditionalistic and has trouble respecting our decisions and boundaries. What MIL usually does is ignore what we ask her, do what she wants anyways and deal with the consequences by acting offended or make her daughter feel bad. Our third kid is coming in september.
We are currently living 1000 miles from them, paying rent, on a house my inlaws own. As such, when they need to come by for medical reasons like exams or stuff, they stay with us and see the kids. Because they usually have a few checkups in september every year, we asked them to pospone them to october this time so that we could be alone with the new baby and our kids for a few weeks under our own roof.
They could go to a relativeâs house but that would be offensive and âlook badâ to the outside world, and so is not being present during birth. And all hell broke lose. MIL got offended, made my wife feel [awful], and still organized their checkups for SEPTEMBER. We had a big fight, my 15 weeks pregnant wife is anxious and Iâm furious. MIL essentially says we are the problem and we need to adapt to her needs. Now Iâve taken a step back cause I cannot keep fighting my inlaws and my wife knows she needs to stand up to her. But we are having trouble protecting our autonomy and boundaries, and Iâm not sure what else I can do.
Nope, you didnât read that wrong. Iâve posted here in the past but just to do a quick recap: I have had no contact with my MIL since June of 2024. My partner hasnât had contact with her since February of 2025. She has not seen our son since fall of 2024. We had a baby in September of 2025 and she has not (and will never) meet him. My MIL schizo posts on Twitter, LinkedIn, and IG from time to time. About 95% of it is about me. That Iâm a ânarcissistâ, âSatanâ, a âcrazy liberal feministâ, and a âthiefâ. For the most part, itâs actually pretty amusing when she has her flare ups, although Iâve had to go to the police in the past when she took it a little too far. Her hate stems from the fact that her son wonât speak to her and she blames me.
He is currently in intensive therapy because he was severely [mistreated by her] during his childhood. And Iâm quite proud of him for that. She also hates me because Iâm pro choice and agnostic. Thatâs apparently why Iâm Satan. Recently, I guess her frustration had increased since my partner actively ignores her attempts to get him to react and also let her see our two boys, that she started posting some really bizarre things online. She is now claiming she has a podcast, specifically about me. Itâs just so bizarre. I do not understand the obsession. Instead of putting her energy into going to therapy and bettering herself, she spends it schizo posting about me. Frustrating and scary.
Imagine being this insecure. Remind me to limit visits even more đ lord have mercy. This is after her sending AI generated babies talking on Instagram saying how much they hate moms house and love grandmas house, and how mommy calls grandma all these names but grandma is his love etc my ENTIRE pregnancy. Thanks for letting me vent or else I would lose my mind.
While psychological reasons and stereotypes may be to blame, often the obvious culprit is the guy in the middle â the husband who canât decide whether to set boundaries or just nod along and watch the chaos unfold.
Studies show that the partner is a contextual factor in whether conflicts escalate or stay manageable.
The adult child â usually the husband/son â often ends up in a loyalty bind when MIL and DIL tensions occur. If he avoids confronting his parent or fails to support his partnerâs perspective, it can make the situation worse for the couple.
When husbands act as mediators, set boundaries, and support healthy communication, conflict tends to be less intense.
My husband and I (27M and 29F) moved into my in laws about 7 months ago. Living there is my husbandâs grandmother who owns the house, my MIL who lives rent free, my MILâs friend, and us. We moved in because I was finishing up my PhD but since I was graduating and going into filing fee status (reduced student status meant for PhD students who are only working on their dissertation), we lost access to the student housing. I also lost my stipend so we couldnât afford an apartment on my husbandâs income alone.
My husbandâs grandmother asked us to move in so we can help out with rent, and also because she said she wants us around in general. Although Iâm grateful to have a roof over my head, itâs been hard living here. My MIL tries to control everything despite it not being her house. She pays no rent but has the largest room in the house, but berates us if all of our stuff isnât our tiny room. Her and her friend literally never clean, and forces us to clean up after them. My husband and I have literally cleaned up her dogs [accidents] on the floor dozens of times because sheâll put a paper towel over the mess and leave it there. Sheâll make dinner and then leave all the dishes in the sink, and the counters literally covered in whatever she was making.
Her friend has now made a habit of leaving the food she no longer wants to eat just sitting on the kitchen counter. Last night, she left her ice cream on the counter around 7 PM. I went to get a banana at around 12 am and found the ice cream still sitting on the counter melted. Like why? Theyâre also both unemployed and neither leave the house all day. My MIL will also spend all of my husbandâs grandmotherâs money and then start screaming at us that they have no money and its our fault. Thereâs a lot more but itâs frustrating as hell dealing with her and her friend.
Anyways, my MIL now wants me to move out. Not my husband, just me. She keeps asking me when Iâm moving to my parents house, knowing full well that my parents live in a country thats now in the middle of a war zone. And yet, she keeps asking me and my husband Iâm moving back to my parentâs house. My husband backs me up and tells me she can move out if she dislikes me that much, and that heâll 100% call the cops if she escalates anything with me (she has a history of violence). Iâve been applying for jobs but itâs either just constant rejections or no replied, but hopefully Iâll get one that allows us to move out ASAP. It just bothers me that sheâs trying to push me to move into a warzone. I wouldnât even do that to my own worst enemy.
Almost 2 years ago my MIL moved with SIL/BIL to a house less than 1/2 mile from our home. We have lived in our home for 2 years by then. I was not happy about it at the time for the obvious reasons but I have slowly come to some type of âacceptanceâ over the past couple years. There have been many issues along the way however. Now MIL wants to move out of their house and is looking for apartments. At the end of our street there is a cul de sac with a couple multi family units. She tells my husband today she is going to rent one of those. My husband of course says nothing as usual and I lost it. He canât handle any confrontation with his mother. 1/2 mile away is one thing but literally down the street?! Iâm done. I moved here to get some privacy and look where I am. I messaged her this is breaking a boundary and we are not comfortable with her living there. We also told her we will help her find a place. Waiting for this to explode and ready to permanently block. But Iâm putting my foot down. This is enough. She thinks this will get her more access to her grandchildren but itâs the opposite. Everything is so dramatic with this side of the family. If the same scenario happened with my family my parents would immediately understand and take a step back. I feel like we are getting closer and closer to no contact. Why is my families comfort walked all over.
At the same time, not every rough patch with your in-laws means the relationship is toxic.
True toxicity involves consistent control, manipulation, contempt, or negativity that affects your emotional and physical well-being.
Most in-law hiccups, such as unsolicited advice or small boundary slips, are normal and donât make someone a toxic person, say experts.
When we label everything as toxic, it shapes the way we see our in-laws. Even a kind gesture can feel like criticism â an offer to help clean the house might be interpreted as passive-aggressive.
Another reason to be careful with the toxic label is that it reinforces the stereotype of in-law rivalries, especially between mothers- and daughters-in-law.
My (36F) MIL is very weird about money and spending. She wears designer bags and expensive clothes but it seems like no one else is allowed to spend on anything.
The last couple of times she came to visit, she checked our outdoor recycling box. It was full of boxes because of all the gifts MIL and my parents sent for our 3-year-old daughter and the boxes from all the party decor for her birthday party.
She came into the house and commented to my husband (44M) that wifey must be doing a lot of shopping.. the recycling is full of boxes.
My husband replied itâs all from the gifts and party decor. I am a SAHM to our 2 children under 5. And my husband is a physician. Our current life works for us, but I feel so suffocated by her comments. Did we handle this the right way? And am I overreacting to be insulted by her doing this?
The first thing my JNMIL said to me when we told her weâre pregnant with our second was âoh my God Iď¸ hope itâs a baby boy! You just need a baby boyâ.
The first thing she said to me after we told her The due date: âoh my god the baby could come early and be on FILâs birthday!â The due date was like two weeks after FILâs birthday.
And here we are at 36 weeks, it is a boy. Oh my god MIL has been a horror. This pregnancy was nothing like my daughter and is much worse. Iď¸ have gestational diabetes so Iâve been like licking lettuce for 8 weeks. And SOMEHOW. SOMEHOW. This baby has found the nutrients to bulk up to soon surpass his sister who came out at 39 weeks and was 9lbs.
So with gestational diabetes in mind and him tracking so large, my OB said letâs go at 38 weeks and Iď¸ was so excited. Iď¸ donât want to tear my cervix again. Then they called and asked if Iď¸ wanted to be induced on FILâs birthday and Iď¸ said OH HELLL NO. HELL NAHHH TO THE NAH NAH NAHHHH.
Iď¸ asked to push it out of a day. Iâll endure another sleepless night, day of random unsolicited name suggestions every other hour, and bland salad to avoid hearing my JNMIL never let this go.
To bring it back to our previous point: does reel life affect real life? The short answer is yes â probably more than we realize.
The media constantly dishes out the same storylines about meddling mothers-in-law, jealous daughters-in-law, and the classic âwoman vs womanâ drama.
Movies, TV shows, and even fairy tales often cast women in family roles where conflict is the default, and men are mostly in the background.
Repeated exposure to these tropes can make people, especially women, come into real in-law relationships on edge, expecting tension before it even exists. Pop culture, in a way, feeds our fears and subtly shapes how we interact in real families.
Then, my mother-in-law came to visit and started complaining that my daughter has too many toys. My husband and I usually give her paints, books, brushes, modeling clay, and canvases because our 4-year-old daughter says she will be an artist when she grows up and that her paintings will be in museums. So, we take her preferences into account. My husband’s family gives her loud toys and things that our daughter rarely uses… In addition, she randomly receives gifts from relatives. I discreetly donate them.
Well, my mother-in-law had been there for about 10 minutes with my sister-in-law and father-in-law, saying that our daughter has too many toys… I calmly responded, “We don’t buy toys for our daughter.” My mother-in-law got upset. “What do you mean by that?” I said, “I haven’t bought her anything today.”
My husband said, “What my wife means is that you all are the ones who keep buying her toys that she never uses, and we don’t agree with that.” My mother-in-law got even angrier and repeated that she didn’t buy her any gifts… I said, “Today.” My mother-in-law said, “Excuse me?” I replied, “I think you mean that you didnât buy her anything today because last week you bought her a doll and a bottle.” My mother-in-law said, “I can’t buy gifts for my granddaughter?” I said, “Of course you can, but just donât complain about her having too many toys when you’re the one buying them.” Well, sheâs not talking to me anymore… again.
Following up from a post here yesterday about telling the MIL no touching the belly.. We had lunch together today, and I had geared myself up and had it all scripted in my head. I was ready this time. I also spoke to my partner and warned him to stand up for me, or I would avoid her like the plague if she continued doing it. I have asked her nicely not to touch my belly but every time I see her she does it anyway. Today was no different. She reached out those little hands and I stepped back – she stepped forward, so I flicked her hands away, and as my partner started to say I don’t like it, I told her no more touching, I’m sick of saying I just don’t like it! Of course she asked why.. I said because I didn’t like my guts being touched before I was pregnant, I’m uncomfortable as hell, it’s weird and just no! She told me she’s just trying to bond with the baby.. I said You do realise it’s my body you’re touching and not the baby right? And just because your belly is huge, I feel no desire to reach out and touch it! She then said I would just have to get used to it with her and fucking reached her hands out again! I moved them away again and told her I wouldn’t be getting used to it, because she wouldn’t be doing it again, one way or another. She screwed her face up and went and sat down. So turns out I didn’t need him to stand up for me after all, it felt good to get my point across myself. Not the first boundary issue I’ve had to force with her, and I’m certain it won’t be the last, but maybe she’ll start to figure out that I’m not in this relationship to be with her, she can stop trying to walk over me because it’s never going to work. I can be nice, or I can be the opposite if it’s called for. If she doesn’t figure it out, she doesn’t have to be included.
However, some in-laws are truly and genuinely harder to deal with than others.
Experts say if your mother-in-law is giving you a hard time, take a beat before you retort with a zinger you canât take back.
âOne strategy I might use is to pretend you are an anthropologist and just observe and describe. This will help with judgments. For example: âItâs interesting that your family does holidays this way,â or âTheir family has rituals that I never did growing up,ââ says marriage and family therapist Sara M Klein, LMFT.
If you feel like firing off a sarcastic remark the next time your mother-in-law crosses a line, Klein advises holding back and not shifting the blame. âBlame and shame are not effective relationally. They shut people down, and there is no space in between.â
Instead, she suggests saying, âWe made a decision about this, and we are happy to discuss our thought process with you.â
Babyâs turning 12 weeks tomorrow, and we all went out to an early birthday lunch for my husband with his family. First outing with them in public + the baby. MIL was trying intensely to try to control the situationâ where the baby should sit (we brought our doona stroller and I wanted to sit at the end of the table to be able to take care of him), insisted he sit as a car seat in the booth. Was asking if heâs ready to go so he doesnât fuss, did he eat, diaper change? Like yes you crazy woman, I literally thought of all that. Kept going on and on and on. I started to tune her out but I overhear my husband tell her âitâs not your babyâ point blank and she shut up. Literally made my entire day.
Just had to share since I know itâs difficult for a lot of husbands including my own. I was proud đ
The other week my 5 year old was on the phone MIL and she asked him if he was excited for his brother to be born and that she was going to come stay with him and sleep in his bed since mommy will be with the baby. Nobody ever asked or invited her to stay. In fact my sons are staying with my next door neighbor and their friends when I give birth. She never communicated ANYTHING with me or DH. And DH is under strict house law to not tell her anything about labor or when it starts. BUT I am just mind boggled that she thinks she can insert herself without even a conversation about our birth plans with me. Why are they like this?!? I donât understand. I have an older son not with my husband whose bio father passed away and my old MIL is wonderful. She would always ask how she can help and what I need and wait for me to come to her. We are still friends and stay in close contact. But my current MIL views me as a competitive enemy and wants to boundary stop any chance she gets. We are low contact and itâs like she thinks that will magically change when baby gets here. Whatâs ironic is that Iâm a very forgiving person and if she would simply respect my decisions as a parent she could have unlimited access to the kids but she canât respect simple boundaries, itâs like she enjoys crossing them. The last time she baby sat, I sprayed our basement with bug killer. The only rule was not to let the kids downstairs. (Nothing is down there!) we can back from dinner 1.5 hours later and the kids are in the basement!!! This is just one example but sheâs no longer allowed to babysit obviously. Itâs like she gets off on showing me she doesnât have to listen to me.
When someone is hurting and takes it out on you, the best defense is strong boundaries.
Mastering the tricky art of in-law diplomacy wonât just make your next holiday calmer; it will also strengthen your marriage and help you create meaningful bonds with the whole family.
So, maybe just keep your peace, your pride, and who knows⌠you might even get to eat the last piece of cake at the holiday dinner.
Need some advice and also wondering if Iâm just overreacting. My MIL repeatedly ignored my boundaries early on (no kissing baby, no visitors until weâre ready/recovered, amongst so many other things I wonât get into otherwise this would be a tldr), and as a result Iâm a bit guarded around her.
She only ever plans visits via my husband, never actually asks me first. She says all these things she wants to do with my baby, and i end up looking like the bad guy when i say âno you cannot take my breastfed baby to your house without me being thereâ. She seems to think she will get to babysit when i go back to workâŚwithout even asking me!
Anyway im super guarded around her now, and i never offer the baby to her. I baby wear a lot and she always pouts about it. I think maybe sheâs picked up on it, because now she just grabs the baby from my arms. Like ok sure, thereâs a baby sitting on my lap looking at you, but like, ask first please? She then proceeds to leave the room and walk baby around the house like sheâs just desperate to get her on her own.
my husband doesnât see any issues and weâve talked about similar stuff before, but it ended in an argument. He said that itâs unfair I seem to give my own mum special privileges, but not his mum. The difference is my mum comes to help with house chores (without asking btw), brings us food, and is there for me first and foremost. Ofc I trust her more and when she gets here Iâm like âhere have the baby for a bitâ. The difference is massive!
Anyway, I have no idea how to stop my MIL literally grabbing my baby and then walking off with her. I canât babywear her all the time like she wants to be free and enjoy her wake times. But then, am I being rude for treating her differently from my own mum?
JNMIL and JNSIL keep providing unsolicited name recommendations and itâs so annoying! We have not picked a name. We have a 2.5 year old thatâs already trying to end us with exhaustion and Iâm 36 weeks pregnant and tired. So so tired. We have a short list of names. We told them that and we said we wonât be sharing the name until he is born. My MIL is obsessed with boys and my SIL has no kids. So they just send us random names or random baby name lists with their preferences highlighted. The most annoying this is my MIL keeps saying we should name our son after her dad. Iď¸ only met him twice before he passed. Absolutely no. Then she will insist we give him my husbands middle name. Also no. We chose the middle name to be the name of my cousin that passed away tragically. Our daughter already has a family name from their side. But since sheâs a girl sheâs obviously not enough. Plus itâs a name from my husbandâs dadâs side so my JNMIL just assuming that for some reason her family also deserves a name sake baby Iď¸ birthed. Itâs pissing me off so much and weâve repeated over and over weâre good, we donât need suggestions, weâll let them know the name when he gets here. My ow family hasnât asked once. They just asked if we thought about it and Iď¸ said yeah weâll decide when heâs born and theyâve left it completely alone.
So we had planned to see tulips nearby our area and we knew its an hour drive but its our first family outing. So just for formality we asked his parents and they instantly said no since i said no to their dog and they were lazy they didnât wanted to drive 30 minutes from their home , their home is middle ground but who cares they arenât coming good for me. I didnât know the tulip farm doesnât allow pets but win win they said no so we took a weekend out and went for farm had [great] time . No crying no fussing our daughter had tiring day but ahe had fun she played with the tulip she picked. So i sent pictures in family group which everyone is there just not them my family his and his grandma. My MIL got jealous and now she wants us to go back and they want to go to zoo and all.
So backstory, my MIL trying to be the MOM figure for my daughter and she likes to override whatever i do for my daughter no matter whatever it is if itâs her first cute outfit, or her first solids experience, her first Christmas outfit, her first anything even easter she is trying to steal. So i am having good success that i had day out with my daughter and husband and she wasnât there. One thing i want to ask others, when we were doing our first photoshoot with her there were passing people who were talking about my daughter and I thought i should respond but you know what while i was talking who did most of the talking and didnât let me finish is my MIL. They said our daughter is cute and my MIL goes thanks . I didnât even get to respond, its like she is trying to be me.
For every year that I’ve been a mother I’ve never had part of the day to myself. We would do breakfast/brunch with my mil and whole family then do something with just mil minus the stepfil and step siblings, rush home get everyone down for nap time then rush off to dinner with my siblings and dad. I never had time to celebrate just myself.
Well this year I told my husband I will do the brunch with mil and family but we will not be doing an activity with just mil. I would like to do something just us before nap time and dinner with my family. He agreed. My mil is VERY upset and demanding we tell her our plans. Obviously I’m not going to do that but it got me thinking, I don’t even know what to do. I’ve never got to do anything I want to do that I don’t even know what to do. Its honestly kind of sad that I can’t think of something but I’m also afraid that if we pick something that anybody could go to she would just show up.
I’m finally standing up for what I want but terrified she’ll still find out what were doing.
My family and I got word of my aunts cancer spreading to her brain and she was in and out of a coma. My father flew out yesterday to see her since she lives overseas as we didnât know if she would live or not as she wasnât being responsive at home or in the hospital. My mom was home alone and my cousin texted her she will be coming over due to the situation for my aunt, so I went to my mom to we both her and my mom. Now I live with my in-laws in their home & while I was at my parents, my husbands aunt came and stayed over for a little bit ( she got us a gift for our future daughter as weâre expecting- btw I called her today to say thank you for it). I got home at 10:30pm and when I walked in the first thing my MIL said, FIVE times was: âI really thought youâd come cause she was hereâ (she as in her sister).
She didnât ask if my father landed safely & she didnât ask for an update on my aunt-
She just kept saying I thought youâd come. I got VERY mad and told my husband when we went to bed why would she make that comment knowing why I went to my moms (I said nothing to my MIL and just ignored her comment). My cousin ended up not coming and we got a text about my dad early that evening about an update but I figured Iâd stay with my mom regardless good for bid something happened. AIO thinking she was being inappropriate with that comment that she expected me to leave my parents home to come see her sister?
There is no reason on Earth I should have found out- but I happened to be standing inside my child’s school at THE moment when a stack happy bunch of boxes were delivered and some teachers were opening them. Oh, what joy! “BlessedHeartDIL- how wonderful! These are from your child’s grandmother!” ….what? Turns out, the school’s partner nonprofit fundraiser organization had posted on socials asking for donated chosen library books. I had missed the post but there it is. My stomach just about fell. We are not in contact with her. She didn’t ask. She just follows every online forum about our town and took it upon herself to insert herself into everything she possibly can even though we do not invite her. So here I am, blood running cold and dumbfounded- while normal people who have no idea how creepy this all feels to me are celebrating how generous, kind, and great of her it was to do such a thing. Which….fine; fair. It’s nice. I myself am pro school library and their books. Doesn’t “really” hurt anyone. But ugh. Ick. I have always, continue to, and will keep on hating this whole thing. I think maybe I should tell the school that this person is not authorized for anything but I’m not sure how to word it without sounding also like a psycho.
I heard them talking on the phone on speaker, she wanted him to transfer money to BIL and have her and BIL pay it back in cash, which they have loads of (?? maybe not even true?). So basically money laundering for her golden child. Like are we going to pay our rent and bills in cash? What if someone got wind of it?
This is all his savings, he inherited smaller sums from each of his grandparents and put a little money back himself each month. His mom looked into his bank account (đŤŁđŠ ik) before she called so she “knew he had it”. We have a toddler, we’re living in a tiny apartement, SO is out of a job rn, I don’t make much these days working on my PhD. We really need this money. Our area is expensive and we might have to move, get childcare soon etc. BIL is 8 years older, childfree, makes good money and wants to buy a huge property + house. His wife inherited 500,000$.
SO said no and that he was gonna tell me but didn’t really tell his mom that it was inappropriate to even ask, just that he was uncomfortable with such a huge loan. She then said it was really weird that he doesn’t want to do it, he doesn’t even need the money, family helps each other and similar guilt trips. He just awkwardly ended the conversation and told me about it right away. They all pretend this never happened now.
I think this is so disgusting all around. She apparently loves her grandchild sooo much and yet wants to do this to us. I don’t even know how to look her in the eyes now and didn’t call her for her birthday. This happened weeks ago. Do I tell her that I heard her trying to get my partner and the father of my child to go behind my back on something this big? Idk how to. What would you guys do?
My husband doesnât agree with my decision completely but he said he guess he understands. My MIL has made multiple group chats and my husband mutes them all, ignores his mom, and all his brothers (except for one). Well one day she starts going off in the group chats saying nobody in the family helps each other and wanted to know why. She addressed each of us individually, yet was pissed at our responses. She told me and all her daughter in laws that we can leave her sons at any time because she believes we are the reason her kids donât have relationships with each other or with her. The conversation ended with her guilt tripping everyone saying âI guess itâs my fault then and I guess Iâm a terrible mom.â In addition to all of this, she is making comments about my size as being pregnant saying my baby is going to rip me from here to there.
My family has a history of having big babies and carrying bigger than most. I feel like Iâm not that big, Iâm just very pregnant! Itâs my second baby. Fast forward, I had already invited her to my baby shower, so to keep things peaceful and keep myself calm, I decided to wait until after the baby shower to block her after our last conversation. She decided not to show up. Instead of telling us she couldnât make it, she FaceTimed me after the shower was over telling me âlook at all this housework I did today this is why I couldnât come.â I hung up the phone and immediately blocked her. She tried calling her son but he didnât answer (his choice not mine). She ended up getting in contact with my sister in law saying âI have a gift for them but I guess if Iâm going to be blocked they donât have to get anything from me.â In addition to all of this, none of her grandkids like her bc they donât know her. She never comes around and when she does, she gets them all wound up and leaves bc they are too much for her to handle. It turns into âmy kids never did thatâ but she wasnât around for their childhood. Every time her grands have something going on she has an excuse why she canât be there.
My husband and I have a baby. My MIL has been overbearing and extremely annoying. Since the baby is born she tried to manipulate all our decisions regarding the baby by being nice and supportive to my face, but calling and texting DH to convince him to listen to her. I think she expects my husband to convince me to do everything her way. Hopefully DH is on my side.
Some examples of things she wants to manipulate: she doesnât agree that LO should spend a lot of time on his play mat on the floor (but sheâs bragging that LO is rolling and crawling early to everybody), she doesnât agree that 6 months is a good time to start solids (she thinks itâs too early lol), she doesnât believe that LO has allergies (confirmed by a good doctor and blood tests).
During her last visit I want to feed LO in another room and 30 minutes later DH kicked his mother out. He was angry but didnât tell me what they talked about, so I assume she had a lot of unsolicited advice about my and my parenting. He said she is on a 6 months time out with no visits.
Today is motherâs day in our country. Children and men give flowers to their mothers or partners. My MIL didnât receive any text from her boys today. This must hurt!
I guess she made her bed and now she has to lie in it.
My MIL is a nice person, in general, but she was always thinking about her own convenience and wants first. When I got prangnent she was so excited! She gave me the warmest hug and said that she welcomes me as her daughter. Then I started feeling really bad. I puked through the entire pregnancy and I had to keep working so I barely had energy for anything. She kept asking me how I feel and then minimizing what I’m going through. One time I just didn’t reply (like for a few hours because I felt really sick and didn’t have the emotional energy to speak with her) and she got upset and wrote a Facebook post about how rude it is not to answer people’s messages. I didn’t want all that drama while giving birth so I asked that no one will come to visit me at the hospital (other than my mom that stayed with me for the first night and HELPED). And she kept sending DH messages asking to come and saying how not fair I’m being. When we got home she kept complaining that my NB is asleep every time she comes to her 20 minutes visit and kept asking me to tell her IN ADVANCE when the NB will be awake so that she could see her. And of course she came just to hold the bb and not help or anything like that. Fast forward a few years later (I’ve already wrote here some things about her behavior) my BIL’s partner gave birth and MIL wanted DH to call and congratulate them half hour after giving birth!! The day after they went to visit them and send so many photos (that I appreciate because that baby is so cute!!) and a video. Problem is, I could see how tired SIL looked like and it was really obvious from the video that she wasn’t feeling comfortable (she was telling about her birth while MIL’s partner was recording the bb and the conversion too it was so out of place in my eyes). I know it’s my place to say anything, and I’m not in close enough relationship with SIL to know if she was ok with it or not. But boy this brings back so many feelings I thought I was already past them…
My MIL is one of those people that treats animals and children like dolls with no will of her own and i want her as far away from my 3m/o as possible but we had a family birthday so contact was inevitable. But i came prepared. Babywearing is the solution to everything. When i first arrived at SIL’s house i had LO just in my arms chilling. He was calmly observing everything. And as more people trickled in he was slowly clinging to me more as he preferes the quiet. Then MIL came in and imidiatly overwhelmed him with touching him all over his face so ofcourse he got fussy and i could imidiatly get up to “feed” him in a quiet place and came back with him tied to me. She left him alone. Never visiting her without him firmly strapped or ready to be strapped to me again.
My MIL insists on giving me things. We try to keep our house clean and that means not over consuming and bringing in clutter. Because we both are a size small she insists on giving me clothes and shoes (we arenât the same size shoes) sheâs literally in her 70s and Iâm in my 30s. She called me telling me she went through her closet and had some Tommy bahama shirts for me. Lol sheâs literally giving crap she doesnât want and is not for my age or style. In the past she has tried to give me used sheets, freebies from flying business class, used suitcases, knick knacks and for Christmas she gave me $5 slippers she loves and our family gift was a trip with her this year
Iâve seen n some videos on social media about narcissists giving âtrashâ gifts to spin this narrative that youâre ungrateful. I honestly donât want or expect anything but itâs weird she keeps giving me used stuff that I absolutely donât want.
My husband and I used to visit his parents every Saturday before our baby was born. After the baby arrived, we talked and agreed that things would change and that we would meet his parents every alternate Saturday instead of every week.
One of the main reasons we made this decision was because weekends are the only real time we have together as a family. We wanted some weekends to just be for us spending time together as a family instead of sitting with in-laws every single weekend. Before the baby I didnât mind doing that, but now that we have a baby, I want some weekends to be just for our little family.
Recently my husband told me that his parents are coming over on Monday to see the baby. What bothers me even more is that we just came to this new arrangement and it hasnât even been a week, yet they are already planning to come over outside of what we agreed.
Another reason this is hard for me is that I donât have a good relationship with his mom. She often makes negative comments and taunts me, and she doesnât like me. Because of that, being around her is emotionally draining for me.
It makes me feel like my comfort and the agreement we made arenât being respected. Am I wrong for feeling this way, or expecting my husband to stick to the boundary we set together?
I work from home. It’s garbage day. MIL is over playing with kids and helping wife. Around 3PM I look outside and see that my garbage cans aren’t at the curb anymore. That’s weird, pickup isn’t even until 1-2pm most weeks. I check the security cameras. My FIL drove up, quickly pulled my cans up to the house and left. Wth… MIL’s phone is on the counter, they’re playing in another room. I open her texts and sure enough, she texted my FIL AT WORK (high-paying important white-collar job), telling him he “needs to come bring [daughter’s] cans in, they’ve been outside all day.” IT’S GARBAGE DAY. I HAVE BEEN IN MEETINGS ALL DAY. WHAT THE [HELL] IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN.
My husband is in BMT right now for the Air Force. As his graduation is coming up, she’s been posting non stop about her “sweet boy” and how she can’t wait to “love him and hold him”. I understand as a mom she’s emotional and excited but it gets to a point ya know? Anyways, she texts me tonight saying she needs me for something. I say “what’s up?” And she essentially lets me know she wants to get the same exact tattoo my husband ALREADY has, to surprise him with it..
Am I insane for thinking that it’s weird for her to want to do this? The tattoo says ‘memento mori’ that he got years ago as his first one. I think it’s strange to want to match with your son when he already has the tattoo and it wasn’t planned along with him too. This isn’t the first weird thing she’s done, and obviously he has no say over any of this right now as he doesn’t have access to his phone. Let me also add, she is an alcoholic and I can tell she’s been drinking while sending me these messages.
I don’t want her getting the tattoo and definitely don’t think it’s the best idea but I don’t want to be the one to be the AH and tell her not to. Am I also crazy to believe SHE wants to be the one married to her son?
EDIT: I forgot to add, my husband’s tattoo says “Memento Mori, Memento Vivere”. She has found a tattoo she wants! It’s the same saying but a different style tattoo so I guess it’s a little better. Now she’s saying she wants it to honor her son (my husband) AND her mom who passed away. It’s a rose with Memento Mori beside it, and she wants to add the TRS and FLT numbers from my husband’s basic training. I even suggested changing it to Memento Vivere (remember to live) for a lighter message but she’s set on mori. Which I find strange because her son is alive and well. đ§ It is different than his so i’m feeling better and think it’s not as bad.
Iâm a new mother, my daughter is six weeks old, and we live in the Midwest where it has been cold all winter long. My in-laws and grand-in-laws came to visit a couple weekends ago and I canât stop raving about a comment my husbandâs grandmother made.
My in-laws were staying in an AirBnb during the visit but had spent majority of the day at our house spending time with our daughter. We decided to go to their Airbnb for pizza and games. Turns out, their Airbnbâs furnace broke and they neglected to tell us this until after we got there. Luckily we had our daughter in a warm sleeper and had a blanket to wrap her up in while I held her. Because she was in her car seat on the way, we did not put her in a jacket or heavy sweater because of safety standards. As we were getting ready to leave and I was putting my daughter her car seat, my husbandâs grandmother came up to me and said âa sweater is something a loving mother puts on her children.â In that moment I was so shell shocked by what she said, I just laughed and finished getting my daughter ready to leave.
I talked to my husband about it among some other comments that were made and at first he said that he thought that maybe she was just trying to give some poorly worded advice, I on the other hand felt as though it was a backhanded comment that felt as she was insinuating I wasnât a loving mother because I chose the safety of my child over putting an unnecessary sweater on her. I asked my husband what other way was I supposed to take that comment he finally admitted he didnât know why she would say something like that.
Am I taking that comment the wrong way and overreacting by being upset by it, or am I right in feeling upset by it?
I have been NC since she called me a piece of shit in the family group chat weeks ago. Since then she has sent my husband multiple messages on every platform possible trying to apologize to him. He ignored most of it and was responding to her texts esentially telling her this is the consequences of her own actions and that he chooses me and our child. She ultimately decided that she must have been talking to me because there’s no way he would choose us over her (she’s crazy lol). So the most recent attempt was an email in which she apologizes but also tries to point the finger at us just like all her other “apologies”. He ignored it. Then his Dad calls a day later asking if he received the email and if he plans to respond. My husband was like “we’ll see” and he could hear his mom in the background like “no im not expecting anything” like girl… yes you are, or you would have gotten the hint by now. My husband is ignoring her because she hasn’t realized that she owes me an apology for everything. She was directing almost all of her venom at me in the last blow out and over the last decade, but is only apologizing to my husband. He thinks that’s a load of crap, so until she apologizes to me he’s choosing to ignore her. love him lol. An apology changes nothing though. Im done with her disgusting behavior. She burned the bridge. Im not rebuilding it again.
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