🤯 INCRÍVEL: “Went Full MAGA”: 79 Divorce Stories That Range From Amicable To Very Messy 😲
She had an affair with a married friend of ours. 3 months after our wedding. They blew up 2 marriages. It was not amicable. But at least I kept the dog. He’s a good boy.
I had cancer, and maybe she didn’t want to deal with it? Long story short: We divorced, she took all I had except our (now my) car and that is that.
Some years later I now have a dog, my own apartment and might even be cured of the cancer (“cure” needs me to stay cancer-free for 5 years… I’m at 4 years now, just 1 more hehe).
You know how some people sleep differently? Like i sleep on my side but I toss and turn sometimes from one side to another. Well my now ex wife would sometimes sleep on her stomach, and other times would sleep with other people while I was at work. I didn’t like that so I left, not amicably.
She went full MAGA.
Anti-vaxor, science denier, believes the FDA is actively culling large parts of the population. Once told me she had a friend that had some “interesting ideas” about flat earth “theory” that I should talk to.
Told me that my relative with stage 4 pancreatic, liver, and bone cancer could be cured by simply changing his diet.
He started a relationship with his business partner and then tried to open our relationship to move her in. Then gave her half his business without a buy in. Then I found out he’d taken like $50K out of our retirement accounts and spent all his savings without telling me. Could have still been amicable but he flipped out after we were separated and started getting really aggressive. Haven’t talked to him in years.
He had a bad day at work. The 5 month old puppy was excited to see him when he got home, he punched the puppy for wanting attention.
I knew I was next if he would hit a puppy. I moved out with the puppy while he was working. It was far from amicable.
Edit: Thanks for all the well wishes. So puppy is 6 now. She’s grown up into such a sweetheart. After I moved I found a vet and told her that ex hurt her. The vet wrote up letters for the divorce and helped me get puppy to trust people again. If she doesn’t like someone I trust her.
I went to therapy as well. Since then I’ve met someone puppy likes, and can say that I absolutely feel safe around them and trust them. Therapy is amazing if you find the right therapist.
As for my ex. It’s been 3 glorious years since I’ve heard from him. I wish him the life he deserves.
It was amicable at the time because I was led to believe it was JUST about us not being on the same page regarding kids. I don’t want any, she does. After the divorce was final I learned from a mutual “friend” that she’d been cheating on me for months before bringing up divorce. Haven’t spoken to her since calling her out on it almost a year ago.
He got someone else pregnant. We’d just bought a house. This was followed by a year of stalking whilst the divorce went through. Admitted to family he’d been physically [mistreating me] during almost the entire relationship.
Far from amicable.
My first husband neither worked, nor did chores, no yardwork, no cooking, no money.
I did everything. It lasted 2 years. The divorce cost $150, we had nothing to split, and it was amicable. I signed 1 document, and he left. Whew.
I supported her while she didn’t hold a job or contribute to the household. I worked, cooked and cleaned. I got laid off and things got tight in our(my) savings. Her solution was to move out and couch surfing with her internet friends.
Her and her mom picked up her stuff while I was at work at my new job I got 3 months later. Last I heard she was sharing a basement apartment with a prostitute friend. I miss the cat I got to keep her company while I was working.
In the end, no hard feelings. She was done with the relationship but didn’t know how to handle it. Time fixes things. It’s been 15 years, I hope she landed on her feet somewhere.
He mentally and emotionally [mistreated] me for years until I became a shell of my former self. He then started cheating on me because I wasn’t happy to be around him, and I didn’t want [intimacy]. He filed for divorce when I wouldn’t forgive him for the cheating. While we were technically still married, and shared the house, he started dating someone new. He would bring her over, and I could hear everything they did in his room. There was a stairwell in between the rooms. They got married not long after the divorce was finalized.
It’s been 4 years, and I still won’t look at him if we are near each other. And all communication is done via text or email. And that is only when it pertains to the child we share. Sometimes he tries to joke about things that we both joked about in the past. He tries to make small talk. But I just cut that off and end conversations when he tries to be ‘friendly’. As soon as the child is old enough for me to no longer need contact with the ex, he is out of my life completely.
He could [pass away] tomorrow, and I would only shed a tear for the loss of the child support and alimony.
I was in an open relationship I knew nothing about. She was a police officer and when I found out about her affairs and told her I wanted a divorce she weaponized her department against me. She tried to ruin my reputation, get me fired, and get me thrown in jail. Luckily her allegations were false and unsubstantiated so I was never detained etc.
I wanted to go our separate ways peacefully and privately. She made this impossible. It was not amicable.
He cheated, I found out. He wanted to keep talking to her as she was his soulmate. I accepted out of fear of losing him. He cheated again, with someone else. I accepted it, I have flaws too. He had a rough childhood. The therapist said cheating wasn’t the root of the problem. He wanted to start again. We did. On Valentine’s he got a call from the first girl he cheated with as he was also still in a relationship with her. I left and never looked back. It was not amicable. I felt like I got my heart ripped out of my chest, not once, not twice, but three times.
She wanted to quit her job and be “treated like a princess.” I wanted a partner in life, not a daughter I occasionally [sleep with]. It was mostly amicable. She started to fight over micromanaging my money during the divorce and I got mad and told her if she had a problem take it to court and see how it goes for her. She was chill after that.
He transitioned and we simply were not compatible anymore. We still text every day like we used to and his mother gave me a pretty good lump sum to cover the fact that I paid for the majority of rent & bills during the marriage.
He was unfaithful.
The divorce was hilarious in hindsight, man got soooo petty. First he was super offended that I stated the reason for divorce was him being unfaithful – despite having admitted it to my face previously, and having moved directly from living with me to living with her, so we had to rewrite the reason as “irreconcilable differences” for his fragile ego. Also he spelled my name wrong in the filings on purpose.
But I got the last laugh, because my lawyer was amazing and got him to pay for “half” the cost of the proceedings and then just waived my fees. Something he’ll never know.
She decided to have an affair with one of the recently divorced dads at our kids’ school.
Then she decided to agree to marriage counseling only to get to the 10 year anniversary point (a couple months after I found out about the affair). At our 10 year anniversary dinner she flatly stated she only agreed to counseling so that I wouldn’t move out till after “today”. In CA10 years means lifetime alimony. Fortunately the judge saw through such things and used the start date of marriage counseling as the end date of the marriage.
Anything but amicable. There was a 9 year long battle in court from file to final.
I won’t say what, but her attorney made a mistake and nobody but me caught it. Not her, not the judge, not my attorney (would be ethically required to disclose the mistake given the type of mistake it was.) I took Napolean’s very good advice of “Never interrupting your enemy while they are busy making a mistake.” Again, I won’t even hint about what it was, but it was very good for me.
After a year of being polyamorous and her experimenting with her bisexuality she fully came out of the closet. Kinda impossible being a heterosexual marriage.
It was very amicable, we still talk to this day. We were together for 18 years and I didn’t want to also lose a best friend because of the separation.
He stole thousands of dollars from our joint account to whisk away his secret girlfriend to make her his fiancée in New York City. He said he needed a solo trip for his soul. I supported it 100% because I’d done the same (but using work trips to do it). We hadn’t even been discussing divorce or separation or anything like that.
Turns out he’d been cheating with tons of people starting right when I gave birth to our second child 3 years prior.
I started investigating when his “flight was delayed a day” in summertime and wouldn’t give flight numbers or airline info to me. Figured out his secrets. He returned home skipping happily ready to give me a big ole smooch and present his wife and kids the wonderful souvenirs he got us. I hit him with the “don’t touch me. Who’s Nicole?”
Overall it was amicable and mostly kind/fair because I was mindful of lessening the impact on my kids as much as I could. We’re alright now but he’s definitely the sad dog that lost his reward whenever we are in each other’s company. Still wants me to be his power of attorney. Idk relationships are weird.
Ex had a gambling [problem] he refused to do anything about as well as health issues he refused to see a dr about and mental health issues he didn’t address with his psych. I was carrying the full mental and emotional load as well as dealing with the bank to ask for help with the mortgage. I’m not perfect by any means, but I was tired and finally the straw broke the camels back. The split was very amicable though which was great.
He was 28, I was 20. When we got married, I was 18, he was 26. When the baby arrived, I had just turned 19, he was 27.
He was sleeping around, and his mommy was covering for him. He also liked to get physical with me, even when I had the baby in my arms, and let his mommy and granny threaten me.
I finally had enough and packed up me and my baby, and left him.
It was NOT amicable. He tried to fight me on everything for a year. When he got married again, he got mad when I met my now-husband, and we got engaged, and he tried to take me to court for custody. He lost. Spectacularly. He ended up with the police removing my daughter (I will NOT refer to her as his child – you have to be involved more than being a high conflict person who thinks that you can do as you please only to hurt the other parent to be considered a co-parent) from him.
We moved to the other side of the country. Once we were away from him where he couldn’t get to us without a four day drive or a plane trip? He didn’t [care] anymore.
My daughter hasn’t spoken to him in about 13 years. She’s not likely to do so ever again. And she’s in her thirties, married, with kids of her own.
He was cruel to me throughout our 9 year marriage. Little things would set him off and he would yell and make me feel like [garbage]. It was a constant thing. Then he got into the right wing side of politics and started spewing hate. But the last straw was a domestic violence incident at my house and having 7 cops walking around in my house. It was not amicable.
His alcoholism and refusal to find a job. All of them were beneath him for some reason. I realized life wasn’t going to get better with him, and I was tired of carrying the financial and emotional load. He was the only one surprised, even his family reached out to day they understood. Amicable because we had nothing to fight over (no kids either). I bought out his share of the house after he discovered no one will give you a mortgage without any souce of income.
Religion. 4.5 years just for her to have an evangelical awakening and completely change all of her worldviews. From being normal to thinking Handmaid’s Tale was an instructional book for how to live her life.
Couldn’t have kids, she wanted her own kids, not adopted.
It could’ve gone better and we’re good friends now, but at the time it was a very, very bitter process. I only started talking to her again because me and her dad remained friends and she bumped into me at his place during an unannounced visit.
I believe with every fiber of my being that TikTok caused my split.
My ex and I had a whole host of problems. We got married too soon and too young, and had kids too early. We each grew into different people by our 30s. She was very insecure and accused me of cheating a lot, but my time was spent exclusively at work or at home.
By the end, I was doing all of the domestic responsibilities. I agreed to this because she wanted to homeschool and that’s more than a full time job. But then she would spend time on TikTok watching other women complaining about the mental load. While I provided all of the income and did everything except school and doctors appointments.
And then she told me she would rather be a single mom!
I said, “Ok,” and I helped her pack her things and move back in with her parents.
She has become more and more angry with me over time. She refuses to admit how much harder her life is now. She had to get a job and her parents aren’t super happy with how lazy she is with housework for someone living rent free.
Oh well. Not my problem anymore.
From my sister:
We got married in June 2018, in July the same year, he started new position at work at a different department than we both worked at.
in May I found out i was pregnant, told him, he said he wasn’t ready and it’s not a good time, a week later my best friend told me he wanted a divorce, he wasn’t able to tell me in my face, so he told my best friend partner. I found out he had an affair with manager at his job. Not when two weeks after finding out we were going to be parents. We tried for baby for 3 years prior to our marriage. I hoped he’d come back to me once the baby was born. We tried to make it work in October, but something was still wrong and he wasn’t sure.
Turns out she was pregnant too. Our babies are 3 months apart. Divorce was not amicable at all. But judge sided with me, me and my son both getting alimony. He has never seen his first born son.
My first husband was gay. He said he had wanted to “try a straight marriage out to make sure he was actually gay.” I had NO IDEA he was gay. That was 20 some years ago and we’re really good friends now! He and his now husband hang out with me and my boyfriend all the time so in a weird way it all worked out and there are no hard feelings.
He changed his mind about wanting kids 7 years in, 1 year after getting married. Immediate deal breaker.
I ended up asking for a divorce. He didnt fight it. We didnt have property or children, so it was fairly straightforward. It was all said and done within a few months. We don’t speak anymore, however.
Was married 20 years to a wonderful asexual woman. But that time took its toll on me. I felt unwanted. I wanted to feel desired, but didn’t. At her suggestion, we tried opening up our relationship. I loved it. She hated it. I realized it was best to separate. It was tough for a year, but we’re very amicable now. We have a daughter together, and we co-parent really well, and sometimes the three of us hang out still!
We were college sweethearts. I wanted a family and he said he wanted the same. But as we got to our late twenties, he kept shifting the goalposts. Finally said “if it came down to having a kid or having a bigger boat, [he’d] rather have the boat.” (He already had a racing sailboat)
He often got his way in our big life decisions, but that was too big a thing to compromise on.
It wasn’t super amicable, but we were pragmatic enough to not want to give everything to lawyers. We negotiated our own split of assets and used one lawyer to do all the paperwork (though they technically represented him).
She was acting suspicious by hiding her device screens including immediately slamming her laptop closed whenever I walked into the room. I finally called her out if she was having an affair with our mutual male friend, and she responded by calling me “paranoid” and having “mental issues”, and then punched me in the stomach for “being so offended” and moved in our mutual male friend. Because, you know, they totally weren’t having an affair before my accusation. And now they’re married with a daughter.
To this day I still don’t truly understand why she split up with me. I wish I did. She admitted to me at one point that she’d been lying about what the real problem was for the last few months of the relationship. Wish she’d ever told me the real problem. Maybe I could’ve done something about it.
We were completely different people – I was 100% devoted to family, he could never adjust. He wanted his bachelor life undisturbed and for me to handle all family stuff. It was incredibly lonely and brutal. Along the way he blamed me for friction. Why wasn’t I ok with him going to football 8h per week when i was sick and needed help with kids? Why we had to go playground instead of hit restaurant? Why a family car instead of sports car? Ultimately he didn’t believe in loyalty or faithfulness. The divorce started slightly frictional but eventually turned amicable. I told him we couldnt live in peace. Now let’s divorce in peace and be good coparents for our kids. Besides few hiccups works very well and we have better relation than ever and both learnt to appreciate each other more.
Her neglecting to mention the other guy. Our daughter was 2 by the way…. I wouldn’t say it was very amicable but it was way more civil than it would have been if I didn’t keep in mind our two children.
I had a time where I wasn’t doing great mentally. Realized that while I had supported her through all of her down times and through all of her problems that she just wasn’t interested in putting in that effort for me. Tried to make it work for a while, but she just resented me more and more for being depressed. So I ended up frustrated at her resentment. Spiraled the drain for a little bit until she ended up being emotionally unfaithful, then physically unfaithful (different people).
I made up a list of changes and steps I needed to see if I was going to continue trying or else I wanted a divorce. She agreed to try but was actually discussing us getting a divorce with friends the whole time. We eventually split. The divorce itself was amicable, but we aren’t.
Answering for my wife.
The husband went from “he” to “she” and didn’t want to raise their child or stay married. Left the country and doesnt pay child support. Used to have a weekly call with the child, then it became monthly, now its every couple months maybe.
The grandparents on that side are nice though and watch the child for a weekend about once a month.
I had been depressed and she stopped wanting to be around me. Stopped allowing/inviting me to hang out with her friends and coworkers and eventually she got black out drunk and told one of my best friends that she was trapped in a loveless marriage. I tried to make it work by going to therapy and having us go to couples therapy but she didn’t want to try to make it work.
Through couples therapy I was able to see that she blamed me for literally every aspect of the relationship and was unable to take accountability for anything she did to harm our relationship. She wanted the divorce, and I wanted us to work on our relationship, but after doing couples counseling I realized she had just learned to hate me and blame me for everything bad in her life. However she also said she wanted to “remain friends” after telling me some truly vile [things], and I told her I was not really interested in trying to be friends with someone who was that awful to me. So I guess not really amicable at all.
He cheated and chose his secret life. It was super amicable and I even did all the paperwork for him to make sure it got done and I could move forward. No lawyers involved and he gave me custody of our kids.
For years, it felt like we were roommates. There was no passion, intimacy, or communication. I begged him to care. He said he did but never showed it. I suggested counseling. He didn’t think we needed it. I asked him to pick up after himself. He said, “Yes, mom.” His hygiene was awful. He had no drive. He was really only affectionate when I agreed to let him buy fancy new gadgets. Finally, I fell in love with someone else, which somehow came as a shock to him. It was amicable all the same, and we’re much better as friends.
Caught her cheating, I tried to work through it to keep the family together for 3 years. She didn’t work through it like she swore she wanted to and she kept cheating. I eventually couldn’t take it anymore and told her I was leaving. We didn’t have assets or money to fight over really so I just gave her the car and let her keep everything we owned because I didn’t care to fight over what little we did have. I left with my clothes, my car and my Xbox. I just wanted to be done. We separated, coparented well and neither of us even filed for divorce until 7 years later when she got pregnant by her current boyfriend. MD law says you have to be separated for a year before a divorce can be finalized but because we were already apart for so long it only took a couple months for the divorce to be finalized. We split custody 50/50. These days we co parent well and We all get along great now. We are so much better apart then we ever were together.
He had bad depression issues and no motivation to do anything really. Wouldn’t work, didn’t want to continue school. I slowly shifted into feeling like his mother rather than partner.
Was just as well, we both ended up gay so it was gonna fail anyways.
She wanted an open marriage so she could get laid while I was 1500 miles away watching my father [pass] of cancer. Real peach, that one.
She cheated on me saying she wanted to go on an “intimacy journey”. But was calling another man husband behind my back. We have a kid together.
He cheated with a coworker, a probationary trainee no less, while he is a 30-year employee. 25 years younger than he is.
Not only did he cheat with the co-worker, but he set up a group chat with said coworker and one of her friends making fun of his wife and planning things to do to gas light her and cause her emotional distress. Then they would have a conversation about how crazy the wife is and wow can’t believe that really upset her.
Of course when this was discovered the only thing the husband had to say for himself was “that was my private account!” Right, that he gave the wife the authenticator code to and the password to.
It’s not amicable.
He cheated with a coworker of his that I later found out was a minor. He had her over while I was out with my friends for Mother’s Day on a trip he insisted I go on. It was my first Mother’s Day. It was not amicable.
I became a bad husband (depression and emotionally checked out) and didnt get help. She should have divorced me then. She stayed, and became a bad wife (started a new relationship). We tried therapy when divorce became a real possibility. The wounds were too deep and too much time had passed to recover.
We share an elder dog and try to keep things cordial. She would love a closer friendship and I can’t do it because I would slip into old habits too easy.
She found someone new and decided and we should try opening up the marriage. She decided not long after she wanted the divorce. I was pretty blindsided at first, but it was amicable in the end. Ended up being the best thing that could have happened.
Every split is a story of its own, some wild, some sad. For me, it was just growing apart and realizing we wanted different things in life, but we kept it civil for the kid’s sake.
We just ended up not being very emotionally compatible. I did not realize what you need to do to maintain a healthy relationship, and she, with her twice divorced dad as a role model, chose to start having an emotional affair with a new guy.
The fact that we met and fell for each other while she was engaged to someone else, in hindsight, was a harbinger of my own fate.
Fairly amicable as these things go. No kids and not married for very long.
On paper it was mutual. However in reality, I was emotionally used by him and his mother. Would be locked in a room and be yelled at for hours on certain instances.
Just found out it was an affair- which she denied. Gaslit the [hell]out of me. Her new guy left his wife four days after mine left me.
I just found out two years later after meeting his ex-wife. We had both gone through hell- blaming ourselves.
For two years I asked for change. He treated me like a roommate more than a wife. By the end of the two years I asked to end things. He was surprised, and admitted that he expected me to stay with him even though he knew I was unhappy. Admitted to me later he had been avoiding spending time with me because he knew we had issues he didn’t want to confront.
I always will wonder what could have been if he had just fixed the problems I addressed but it’s better off this way in the long run.
1st wife was high school sweetheart and she cheated on me with her ex while I was on TDY, did not end amicably.
2nd one we were better at being friends than being married, ended amicable but after a few years we just moved on and have not talked in close to 20 years.
Still with the third one going on 18 years.
Going through it right now after being together for nearly 20 years. Amazingly amicable, thank god. We still love each other tremendously, but we’re just not in love anymore, despite our best efforts. We have different priorities in life. Mine are growing up and being an adult and his are partying and drinking.
The way my mom put it to me the other day is that my (soon to be ex) husband didn’t marry me, he hired me. He thought that as long as he paid my bills and kept me fed he didn’t have to do [anything] else. Meanwhile, I was a full time, live in housekeeper, dog sitter, groomer, and trainer, therapist, [entertainer] chef, I could go on. He’s very emotionally immature and has no idea how to regulate them so I was managing his emotions on top of mine. And with allllll of that, he was still a [jerk] to me.
He’d randomly insult my interests and hobbies, he would dismiss any little problem I had whether it had anything to do with him or not, and when my problems DID have something to do with him, it was hell trying to communicate that to him because he would freak out, hyperventilate, hit himself in the head.
Then when I told him I was finally ready to leave, the very next day he had appointments set for individual mental health counseling for himself, professional dog training, an appointment with a cardiologist (all the men in his family have had heart attacks at one point or another and he knew he was having heart problems but refused to see anyone about it, that forced me to console him at least once a week when he’d convince himself he’s having a heart attack) and all that did was solidify to me that he could have done the work but just didn’t think it was worth it. My misery meant nothing to him, he only cared that he was about to lose His Wife. His Thing. So no I would say it was not very amicable.
Realizing it was never the right match. Triggered by him leaving the dog out in the storm for 45 min, then leaving me to blow dry him for another 30, but that was just the last straw.
It was amicable from my end until he decided to take mid 6 figures in the ongoing settlement. Between that and reflecting on the 9 years of neglect, I hate him and take great joy in his sadness.
Everything she wanted was the most important thing, nothing I wanted was relevant. Gaslighting. Rules that changed constantly. Vague threats to “expose me” on social media. Not amicable.
First one-I came home from seeing our son in the NICU and he was in bed with another woman. #2-I was diagnosed with Lupus and he could not handle the day to day of this disease (no hard feelings that he told me upfront and was always quick to come help with the kids or keep them on bad days for me) #3-maybe because the man has zilch ability to follow through on anything unless I plan each step of whatever it is!!! Still debating the 3rd divorce.
I woke up one day and realized my kids needed to see accountability to grow into proper adults. I put up boundaries, he couldn’t handle them. Now he is a more active parent than he has ever been. And I have my confidence back. But I hear he is not very happy. I can’t be in charge of that anymore.
Fortunately we didn’t have any kids when she cheated. I moved out and divorced her. Haven’t wanted to or needed to talk to her since. Been 35 happy years since.
Ex wife gaslit me into thinking my family was toxic over the course of 4 years, and convinced me to go no contact very shortly after marriage. I thought I was doing what was best in my young marriage, needing to put my wife first, needing space, you name it. So after a year of manipulation, lying to myself in therapy, masking any emotional feelings with major alcohol [problem], I finally faced the fact she/our marriage was the problem. Left immediately, divorced shortly thereafter. It’s taken a lot to mend my relationships with my family, especially my mom, but my life is 1000 times better. I am very thankful no children were in the mix.
Mom had an affair and didn’t want to be married anymore. My dad was sick and didn’t want the headache so he signed all the papers. I was going into senior year of HS. The both went to therapy, separately, and worked out A LOT of issues.
They reconciled and quickly became best friends again. They were actually planning on getting married again but then dad passed suddenly.
The whole time, I never once heard my dad speak ill of my mother and he always called her his wife. I could give a lot more detail but it would be like a mini novel lol.
A little over a year after we got married, things went sideways. She always talked to me like I was ignorant. She prioritized her kids while excluding mine. She was OBSESSED with her medical condition. She hid who knows how much stuff from me, pretty sure she had a gambling habit.
It was not amicable. She tried to ruin me, tried to defame me, dragged me through court for 3 years for NOTHING. She spent 6 months trying to prove I had money I didn’t have and she wouldn’t have been entitled to even if I did in what I think was a bid to prove I was the liar and make me look bad. She had nearly triple me income, yet she unilaterally put the house in forbearance after the court ordered her to pay half the mortgage for 3 months. She had taken me to court for this, and they actually ruled in my favor instead. This led to 2 years of trying to get it back out of forbearance to get her off the mortgage. The entire time that was going on, even when she had all the info that it was bank paperwork error after error after error, she kept filing contempt of court claims against me for not getting it done. Every time, tossed out, but attorney fees were almost a grand each time. The list goes on and on and on and it’s insane how nuclear everything went for a stupid 5 year marriage. She was going to school to be a minister during all of this no less, which is hilarious really. I probably could have written a book.
I don’t care if she sees this and figures it out. I won every single court date she dragged me into, nobody but her tiktok echo chamber bought her [nonsense].
She slept with a mutual friend, caused two divorces, destroyed a cult, blamed me for everything and took ) responsibilty. I am still bad guy apparently. 10 years later we’re prickly but amicable cause of the kids.
He couldn’t hold down a job. Would start avoiding telling me he lost jobs and I’d discover w insurance problems. He would be unemployed for years at a time while I supported our family.
He then starting leaving to “take out the trash” and come back at like 2 am and would ignore my calls. He was at a bar usually (I didn’t care if he cheated), then we left the city and he would say he was on x train home. He’d ghost me and show up in the wee hours of the morning. Acted like I was crazy for getting upset. I was alone w kids all the time and they noticed. Didn’t list a finger or get me a gift or anything for several x maxes in a row. This particular Xmas I got nothing except a gift card from my parents. It was such a bad example for my kid. I gave up then.
We had been struggling to have children for over a year and after the last attempt failed she said she didn’t love me and felt like she settled for me when we were too young. Crazy whiplash for me feeling like we were struggling for kids together to then being served papers. It was amicable because I just wanted her to be happy even though it broke me.
The catalyst was her cheating on me, with someone she met in the course of her extensive work travel, which she undertook while I was taking care of 2 small children and still trying to bill enough hours to pay for the house she wanted. But really that made me realize I’d been making myself miserable trying to make her happy and it was never going to enough, so it was time to stop. That second point is what made me ambivalent about the future of the relationship (somewhat to her dismay) and there was really no coming back from it.
Amicable enough. Obviously some hostility in the initial stages, but we agreed on parenting time and dividing up all the household stuff and ultimately never had to get a ruling from the judge on anything. Our co-parenting relationship is good and that’s also the extent of our interactions.
I turned out to have brain tumor and the aftermath of the brain surgery I was a mess, she was keep trying to pretend I was good while I wasn’t. I was a bit difficult as i wasn’t being cautious enough around my problem, but I needed some warmth instead of forced rules and as she didn’t provide me with any comfort I started distancing myself out of her which resulted in she doing the same until we were 2 resentful strangers in home.
The breakup was kind of friendly I suppose but we haven’t contacted each other since the divorce.
A lot of reasons but to summarize, not being able to heal wounds that happened at the beginning of the relationship + fundamentally different ideas about what treating someone lovingly looked like.
It was as amicable as we could make it.
I had been unhappy for a long time, which is a long story in and of itself, but the last nail in the coffin was that he got drunk and tried to force himself on my sister (who was living with us at the time) while I was out of town. She told me the next day after finding a relative to stay with, and I returned right home to kick him out and change the locks.
Age gap too large, ultimately we were at different life stages. Also, he didn’t believe in mental health. Depressed? Just be happy! Yeah, no….
I put her through grad school for a near decade and then made the mistake of being a trailing spouse for her academic career. I took a lateral job in my field for our cross country move. It took her all of a few months into her tenure track job to start belittling me and saying she made more money. Fast forward a few years after that, and she had an affair.
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