𤯠INCRĂVEL: âHeâs Too Busy Being Married To His Motherâ: 47 Awful Mothers-In-Law Who Absolutely Lived Up To The Stereotype This April đ˛
My MIL lives out of state and tends to fly in for long visits. I told her when I was 25 weeks pregnant that the maximum amount she could stay during this post partum period is 10 days. We agreed on the arrival date and the departure. Thatâs still crazy long to me. Little did I know, she went ahead and planned 17 days and only told DH. Her departure date was way after we agreed.
Anyway, I had to have an emergency c-section so she flew in even earlier by 9 days. In all, sheâs been here 9 days. Done. Sheâs had her time right? Wrong!!!! When I found out she had secretly booked a week later for leaving, I asked her to change her flight to leave ASAP so I could find my normalcy and routine in the time we agreed on before.
I am having trouble feeding and bonding and resting with the baby while sheâs here, so I told her that it would be best if she left, and I reminded her that she came early and had already seen the baby for 9 extra days. The situation changed. Adjustments are needed.
So she changed her flight. Instead of now, itâs in a week. She just moved the departure date back to original date. I told her to leave. Nicely as possible. Instead, she just made the flight a little earlier, but not earlier at all because itâs the original departure date.
I CANNOT do another week. I asked her to leave! I also told her something and she did something else. She is planning on staying until itâs been a full month of my babyâs life. She ruining the whole experience, I set the boundary twice now. How do I get this woman out of my house? She wonât listen to DH either. What do I do now??
It is beyond exhausting to watch my former mother-in-law essentially “marry” her son (my ex-husband) to keep him from hitting rock bottom.
After 15 years of marriage and three children together, I watched her bail him out of every responsibility, including our divorce. The level of betrayal is staggering.
Last year, she finally admitted that she had known aboutâand supportedâhis nine-year affair with a coworker the entire time. She kept his secret while I was still his wife, and now she continues to ignore his blatant [illegal substances] use just to keep him under her roof.
She has created a relationship so enmeshed that itâs visible to everyone. When he was recently on life support in the hospital, she repeatedly introduced herself to multiple doctors and nurses as his wife instead of his mother. She even claims she canât go to sleep until he tucks both her and the dog in and kisses them goodnight.
In public, the behavior is just as jarring. She exclusively refers to him as “babe” or “honey,” and even refers to him as “daddy” when telling stories. The intimacy between them is so couple-like that it makes everyone uncomfortable; the ongoing joke among those who know them is that they are married in every way except for the physical component.
This dynamic is a complete barrier to his sobriety. He isnât focused on being a father to his kids because heâs too busy being a surrogate husband to his own mother. Iâm trying to move on, but the sheer toxicity of this relationship is a constant drain on my mental health.
I knew before we even started TTC that boundaries were going to have to be drawn hard and fast with JNMIL when it came to her first grandchild, my current 8-week fetus.
My husband and I announced to his parents over the weekend. We were going to wait several more weeks but I’ve been so sick and hiding it just became too much pressure and felt like it was making things worse for me physically.
I’m due in mid November and JNMIL got very excited about the idea of having a baby around for Thanksgiving. I immediately said “Just a warning, we’re going to do Thanksgiving alone this year because of germs, flu season, and the baby being so new” and she immediately snapped “Well when we brought [DH] home we had all four of our parents come over and our neighbors. We had 5 or 6 people come over and he was fine.”
DH stepped in and said we’re going to do what we’re comfortable with. Thankfully, my FIL assured us they will respect our boundaries when it comes to visits. However, right after that nice reassurance, JNMIL followed up with “Well you are going to let us visit in the hospital, aren’t you?” Didn’t think the misery of the nausea could be topped, but here we are.
My MIL asked my husband to confirm my diagnosis / if he actually saw a diagnosis (about my brain tumor) ⌠as some of you guessed you would only need a confirmation if you yourself like to lie about stuff like thisâŚ
So since then she had a lot of illnesses, but somehow managed to survive all of them – basically a miracle!!
Let me list some:
– lost practically all of her vision, but regained it the second one of her children came to visit
– went to the doctor with the biggest pain in her teeth, just for them to find nothing and ask her to buy some painkillers (not even prescribe)
– apprtently had some heart pain/ stroke which prompted her to write her children via group chat how much she loves them and had wished to see them one last time -> never got it checked btw
– is verrrrrry depressed (self diagnosed) but somehow managed to turn that into a weapon. So she will write long sobbing paragraph of how depressed she is and end it with: but donât worry, i am not depressed⌠no need to pay any attention to me, I might just [vanish].
What irks me the most: my husband doesnât see how pathetic and manipulative this behavior is. I have relatives with REAL depression and panic attacks. None of them would even have the mental capacity to use their illnesses as a weapon.
He also doesnât find it strange, that all of her illnesses disappear as soon as someone mentions having her checked out by a doctorâŚ. Not really needing any advice, probably just want to rantâŚ
My MIL is a part of a family location sharing app with my husband and his brother and FIL. I really didn’t think much of this, especially when he lived at home.
Now though, we are moved out, fully independent and just trying to live our life. She has been “coincidentally” bumping into him and/or us a few too many times for me to not question it. One time he shared he was just getting his car fixed nearby and she said something like “oh I saw that”.
Since we have been taking a little break from her for other ridiculous reasons, these “coincidences” have amped up. I feel like there is definitely some enmeshment going on here in the relationship and with that, my husband is a bit scared of her “reaction” if he turns off the location.
Am I crazy for thinking it shouldn’t be a big deal? Like just stop sharing it with the whole family and be like “now that I’m moved out I don’t think it’s necessary” or say nothing because really why are they checking to begin with. He’s almost 30.
MIL could not be more predictable right now. If you look at my post history you can see we had a big “event” in our conflict with the ILs earlier this week. To sum it up, MIL did something untrustworthy and just overall [trashy] last year, DH called her out, FIL ghosted us for months after he blew up for MIL (his typical enabler behavior) all the while MIL played all kinds of games trying to paint herself the victim and not apologize.
DH stood strong and refused to engage with her until FIL started talking again (after we found out she was lying to FIL and loving that she had created a new divide between them). The reconnection with FIL wasn’t great but it was an attempt and we’ll take it for now. A few days after the call, FIL sent a message asking us to meet up to “turn the page.” DH didn’t respond right away, which must have made MIL panic.
Today we got a voicemail from her…she sounds like she’s on the verge of tears, voice weak and shaky (she is not a frail woman by any means) and she says…
“DH and DIL, I’ve had some doctor’s appointments and wanted to let you know what they’ve been like and where it’s all leading. Call me.”
Easter Cancer, y’all…
Edited to add update… DH handled it by responding to MIL and FIL in a group because of her past lies. He was short about it and didn’t give any emotion. Just said he got her message and asked how the appointments were going. Her response: “I’ve had about 7 tests from cardiologist, electrophysiologist, and endocrinologist and it looks like I need a pacemaker. I’m doing ok. Been having near-passing out episodes, but have not passed out. Call if you have questions. Love you guys!! ”
Our daughter is 5 weeks old and I’m running on maybe 3 hours of sleep but MIL is driving me crazy so here I am.
My partner (32M) and I (29F) have been together for 4 years. We own a condo together in LA, we have a baby, we’re basically married in every way except the paperwork. Neither of us felt rushed to actually get married and we were fine with that.
Since I gave birth MIL will not stop with the marriage questions. She asks every single time she comes over. SIL made a comment about how the baby should have married parents.
FIL pulled my partner aside last week and apparently gave him some lecture about doing the right thing and making sure everything is proper.
The thing that bothers me most is they keep framing it like it’s about the baby or about me needing security or protection. MIL said something about how he needs to make sure I’m taken care of if anything happens to him, which felt weird and also kind of insulting? I make $92k as a data analyst, he makes $78k as a project manager. I’m not some damsel who needs saving.
My partner is now saying maybe we should just do it to get everyone off our backs. Not the most romantic proposal I’ve ever heard. When I said I’m not getting married just to shut his family up he got defensive and said I’m being stubborn for no reason.
Then yesterday MIL texted me DIRECTLY asking if we’ve thought about what happens with the baby if we split up since we’re not married. Like who asks that to someone who just had a baby five weeks ago??
I told my partner his family needs to back off and he said they’re just looking out for us. Looking out for WHAT exactly? We’re fine. The baby is fine. We don’t need to get married because MIL is uncomfortable. Am I crazy for being annoyed by this? This woman is in my business constantly and now she’s texting me about what happens if we break up when I’m literally 5 weeks postpartum.
Weâve been NC with my MIL for a while now. We donât talk about her publicly, donât badmouth her to family, donât engage. What we do is quietly check her socials every so often, because she has a history of posting photos of our kids and talking about our family online. When we find something, we report it to Facebook and move on. No confrontation.
So when my husband was working on rebuilding things with his dad, FIL casually mentioned sheâd joined estranged parent groups, we both cringed. We made a burner and joined a few just to check, same reason as always.
She was posting photos of us and our kids. That part we expected. What we didnât expect was the rest of it. Completely fabricated stories about me and her own son. Genuinely evil stuff. And then she shared details about [harassment] my husband survived, deeply personal stuff he hasnât told his closest friends, with strangers on the internet. For sympathy. And they ate it up.
We didnât engage. Screenshotted everything, documented it, and reported the photos of our kids.
Fast forward to a phone call with FIL that was actually going well. As they were wrapping up, FIL asked if my husband wanted to say hi to MIL. Hard no. FIL pushed a little because it was a pretty abrupt no, so my husband told him why.
You could hear her in the background as FIL was processing it out loud. Flustered. Then suddenly MIL was taking the dogs for a walk⌠at midnight? (Time difference, it was 9pm for us) FIL apologized and said heâd look into it.
By the end of the weekend her Facebook was gone. Over a decade of weaponized posting, just nuked. She almost certainly got to it before FIL could go looking.
Iâm relieved that outlet is gone honestly. But she clearly needs an audience, so Iâm not naive enough to think this is over. Just waiting to see where she pops up next, and what FIL actually does with what he now knows.
That midnight dog walk is going to live in my head rent free forever though.ââââââââââââââââ
I need honest opinions because Iâm really conflicted right now. I recently gave birth to a baby girl after a very difficult experience â I was in labor for about 20 hours and ended up having an emergency C-section on April 1st. Iâm still recovering and, to make things harder, I havenât even been able to see or hold my baby yet.
Before she was born, my boyfriend and I had a clear agreement: if we had a girl, her first name would be Marie-Lydie (a compound name) in tribute to my mother. He agreed to this from the beginning. In exchange, he was supposed to choose a second name. During the pregnancy, he mentioned names he liked (like Tems or Kehlani), but nothing was ever finalized.
For context, we live together, and his mother came from our home country to stay with us for 6 months for the birth. While I was in labor, his mother was saying that the baby wasnât coming because she didnât like the name Marie-Lydie.
After the birth, I found out that both my boyfriend and his mother started calling the baby âMaya Lydieâ. âMayaâ is not just a random choice â itâs the name my boyfriend had chosen in the past for a baby he lost in a previous relationship.
Now he says it feels like âan obvious signâ and that our baby strangely resembles that child. I told him Iâm open to him choosing a second name as we agreed, but I do not want âMayaâ. To me, itâs too connected to his past and also to what his mother said during my labor, which honestly hurt me.
The problem is that his mother is already calling my daughter âMaya Lydieâ like itâs decided, and my boyfriend doesnât seem to be stopping her. I feel disrespected and pushed aside, especially after everything I just went through physically and emotionally. Am I wrong for refusing the name âMayaâ and wanting our agreement (Marie-Lydie as her first name, and a different second name) to be respected?
So for the record, I know I have a DH problem. I talked to a lawyer and will be filing for separation and/or divorce. Just want to be super duper clear about that. But I still held out some hope until this weekend. Now I’m like gtho. I don’t want to breathe the same air. This is more of a vent. Cause I feel crazy. And no, I’m not leaving my dh just because of his mom. There are a lot of other issues.
His mother. Oh his mother. His mother has been a consistent problem in our marriage. Always looking down her nose, judgey, just general nosiness and a stick in the mud. I was already on the edge of divorce but dang. She really outdid herself this weekend.
I hope to keep FIL (i know i won’t but dude, he and I ended up going for a drive to get away from her crazy making behavior).
So over time, she’s done the usual asking about grandchildren, having an opinion on everything, [attitude] about my parents (they do deserve it, I will be honest), passive aggressiveness with me, etc. But what really set the tone? In 2018 i bought a house alone because she decided she didn’t want to be off her son’s bank accounts (he lied about this numerous times) and would spy and see what he was spending his money on.
He wasn’t allowed to share finances with me. She also took control over my phone without my knowledge (dh transferred it) and it kept popping up as fil’s name even though I’m an executive and it was embarrassing. MIL wouldnt take her husbands last name so the hypocrisy is bad. But she insisted on knowing on what was going on with her baby boys equity. I said nothing. He decided to not pay bills and be financially married to you so he doesn’t get [anything]. Well, according to her thats not how marriage works or divorce… so… yeah.
Anyways this weekend was FIL’s birthday. She wouldn’t let him have a beer (no medical reason not to and he wasnt driving), wouldnt let him have nachos, was found lurking and snooping in my office, made comments about my weight constantly, and the usual [nasty] comments. The cherry on top? She started demanding a key to my house. My house!
She lives 5 hours away and doesn’t drive. She doesn’t need it. And my dh was looking to give it to her. I piped up and said no. There are two ways to get into our house if we ever needed to. She has no reason to need a key, especially since she lives 5 hours away and doesn’t drive. It doesn’t make sense.
Oh man did she pout. At that point, she decided to take over my kitchen and I wasnt allowed to cook or make myself a sandwich. She just stood in the way. She then wouldnt let anyone get spoons to enjoy desert. She held my kitchen island hostage. I just cant imagine going into someone’s house and getting mad that they wont give me a key and then taking over their kitchen to just be a [jerk].
I tore my husband a new one and told him I was done with his mother’s trophy behavior. She’s not allowed to come over anymore. She does not get to put a flag down in my house. My house that i bought alone because he’s too busy being married to his mother. I know he’s enmeshed. I know she’s selfish. But geez, let your husband have some nachos and a beer. He’s 72.
DH now wants an emergency couples counseling session. I’m not interested. I told him to go marry his mom. Counting the days until this isn’t my problem anymore. As I told him, him immediately going and hunting for key without talking to me and bending to mommy was it for me.
My son is turning 1 in June, and weâre planning his birthday party. We have a big family with a lot of kids, so I suggested having the party at my parentsâ house because they have way more space, plus things like a trampoline, swings, and a kiddie pool for the kids. My fiancĂŠ also pointed out that it would take a lot of stress off us since we wouldnât have to spend the whole day prepping food and getting our house ready.
When I brought this up to my MIL, she immediately shut down. She said her husband is having surgery in April and âmight not be able to come,â and then followed that up by saying she wouldnât come either if we have it at my parentsâ house.
The thing is, I strongly feel like this isnât really about the surgery. Her family doesnât like leaving their house and typically wonât attend events unless theyâre hosted there. She also tends to want control over things like the food because her family is very particular.
Now sheâs giving us the silent treatment and saying âdo whatever you want,â which feels like a setup where sheâll be upset if we donât do it her way. Iâm frustrated because this is our sonâs birthday, and I feel like weâre trying to make a reasonable decision that works best for everyone (especially the kids), but itâs turning into a power struggle. Has anyone dealt with something like this? How do you handle it without causing long-term drama?
My MIL lives 2.5 hours away. That didnât stop her when I was postpartum from visiting 4 times the first week and at least 1-2 times every week after until I finally told my SO Iâd had enough. He limited her to once a month (unless thereâs a holiday or something) and with advance notice.
With snow and surgeries and such on her end sheâs pretty much stuck to it and itâs been pretty glorious. She was here ALLLL of Easter weekend. During those visits, she BRIEFLY mentioned she would be in this weekend to hang out with his brother who lives an hour from us but never said anything about stopping to see us.
Around 2 she calls me, I was in the car with a sick screaming baby so I didnât answer. SO got home before me and when I walked in the door he said âI told mom not to come since the baby is so sickâ
YAY!!!!!!
And lo and behold she never hung out with his brother, just got her hair done by his wife?! Anyway she called AGAIN asking if we wanted dinner âno we already ateâ, needed to come pick up her plant âok itâs outside.â
She begged for him to bring baby out and he stood a firm NO! He went outside and said hello for a minute. She pretended to be interested in my big kids sports and asking when baseball started for my oldest..: heâs doing soccer and it started 3 weeks ago đ¤Ą
I stayed inside with baby who was screaming her head off!
Anyways Iâm so proud of my SO! I didnât even have to say anything and he stood firm on the boundary!!! I did talk a few weeks ago and I told him in postpartum it was really hard on me because I felt he kept choosing his moms feelings over mine and it really hurt, he apologized and said he knew he was wrong and was just trying to balance everything to make everyone happy (his first baby and her first grandchild) and I said I understand as my mom isnât around so I donât want to take this experience away from him but the surprise visits and expectations to drop in whenever they want especially when house is a mess and they comment about it just isnât sustainable.
Now to just conquer Motherâs Day without her trying to make it all about herself, and babyâs first birthday in July!
I posted in here before about my MILâs utter devastation at the fact that her 2.5 yo grandson doesnât know her (aka she has made zero effort to spend time with him) and demanded weekly FT calls after he ignored her at his birthday party in favor of her ex husband. The boy loves his papa lol.
This is the woman who drives 12 hours one way down to see her daughter and granddaughters multiple times a year but couldnât bother to see us once when we lived 40 minutes away. Sheâs planned two trips since we moved and canceled both. And does anyone care to take a guess at how many of those oh-so-necessary calls have actually taken place since November? Two. And one of those was to tell her that Iâm pregnant with a little girl.
Since then weâve had exactly one regular phone call where she told me that we needed to let her know ahead of time when the baby was coming (girl do you know how babies work??) so that she could come down and watch our son while we are at the hospital.
Apparently she thinks itâs easier than my parents flying in. My parents, who see my son more in a year than she has in his entire life even though she lived 40 minutes from us until last year and they live half a country away.
To be clear, we already have a care plan for my son. My parents will fly in two days before my due date, my best friend (who lives in the same town as my MIL 4 hours away) is on standby to drive up if they donât arrive in time, and we have a babysitter lined up to keep him if necessary until she arrives.
I explained this to MIL and said we appreciated it but we have it covered. She put on her ultra-hurt woe-is-me act immediately about how she feels like he doesnât know her and I was basically like⌠he doesnât lol.
My best friend who will come help literally lived with us for 8 months last year and he completely trusts her. Iâm not leaving him with a stranger. She got huffy and said she understood then hung up. The funny part is that she called me instead of her son because she knows Iâll at least be diplomatic about it.
I told him after the call that she wanted us to plan on her watching our son and his response was âwhy? So we can scramble to find a replacement after she flakes last minute?â Lmao in all honesty the chances of her never meeting this child at all are very high.
I’ve had issues with my in laws for yearssss. I try and brush it off and take the high road but i honestly feel like Iâm losing my mind with them at this point.
My husbandâs grandfather recently passed away. GMIL walked up to me at the funeral, asked for my 14 month old (felt like I couldnât say no since she just lost her husband), and then walked my baby up to the open casket and put her IN the casket on top of husbandâs grandfather. She put my baby in a casket with a [corpse].
Her reasoning was that my daughter needed to âgive him a hug and say goodbyeâ but sheâs literally 1?? She met him only a handful of times, and again! Sheâs a ONE year old, she has no idea whatâs even going on! I literally froze and cannot stop beating myself up for even allowing my daughter to be put in that situation.
I feel so disgusted about it, along with so many other things thatâs happened at/since the funeral. I try and vent or talk about this but itâs like my brain just short circuits and I have no idea how to even form a complete thought about this.
She was only in the actual casket for maybe 30 seconds. GMIL was holding her above the casket for a minute or two, talking to her and pointing to my husbands grandfather, which I already wasnât super comfortable with in the first place.
My husband went over and grabbed our daughter after I told him to go âget her, right now.â and heâs not happy about it either. But I donât think he understands how deeply upset I am about it. Please let me know if I seem like Iâm overreacting, or over thinking this.
Obviously my daughter is fine and still the happy baby she always is! Iâm just SO mad about the whole situation. My daughter is a PERSON and I feel like they donât treat her like sheâs one.
![My MIL Is A [Jerk]](https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/vitaly-gariev-cyAoxAYTnN0-unsplash-69f335429fe3a__700.jpg "My MIL Is A [Jerk]")
So my husband and I have been married for four years. We live two hours away from his parents so we only see them about once every 2-3 months.
For the past year or so his mom has been talking about me behind my back and telling my husband and her siblings that I have no respect for her because I donât call her mom. This woman has NEVER, not once in the 5 years Iâve been with my husband asked about my family or tried to get to know me, she usually doesnât even talk at all when weâre together and when she does talk she just [complains] at my husband to go to school and become a nurse (heâs been in the military this whole time).
Then on Christmas last year I walked into her house and said hi to her and she says âyouâre still not going to call me mom?â No hi, Merry Christmas, nothing. A condescending confrontation was all I got from her.
For some context my own mother passed away when I was 15 and my husbandâs whole family knows about it. His dad has asked about my family but his mom has never bothered.
So recently I heard his mom talking smack about me again over the phone and I got pissed and told my husband to defend me and tell her that I am not comfortable calling anyone else mom and that calling someone else mom when mine is dead feels wrong.
He called her mom and told her that I do like her but I just donât feel comfortable calling someone elseâs mom mom and she got mad and immediately called me ridiculous. This woman didnât even take two seconds to think about what my husband said, she just insulted me and even insulted our marriage by saying weâre just friends and arenât in a real relationship (we literally own a home together!).
My husband called his dad after the call with his mom and even he was surprised at what she said. Then he called his wife after to discuss the situation and she doubled-down and they ended up arguing about it because sheâs a close-minded stupid [witch] who canât see anything from anyone elseâs perspective but her own and lacks all empathy. Anyways, I just needed to get this off my chest.
DH and I had a planned pregnancy but we didn’t inform anyone that we are planning or trying. I announced my pregnancy to my mom around 5 weeks. My mom is a retired midwife and my father is not alive. I was not feeling comfortable to announce my pregnancy to any other male including my own brother at very early stage.
Hence we decided with DH to announce it to his parents after the first ultrasound at 8 weeks which we did. We live abroad far away from both families and we FaceTimed his mom to give the news. She was alone as FIL was sleeping and we announced to only her.
Of course she said all cliche things like congratulations, I’m so happy etc. But her first reaction afterwards was “Your mother must also be very happy”, obviously she was trying to understand if we told my mom before her, like a competition.
Then suddenly she started to tell a story about her first pregnancy where she ended up with a stillborn. Because of all the hormones and everything, I started to cry screaming my husband to hang up the phone and he did it. MIL called again which we didn’t respond.
After this happened, I never talked to her and my husband also never talked to her around me. 3 weeks later, I had my birthday and neither MIL nor FIL didn’t celebrate it, not even through my husband. Now I am around 13 weeks and DH told that her mother asked if we did the NIPT.
I felt like she hoped that we had the NIPT with genetic anomaly outcome. I already gave the blood sample and waiting for the results atm. I cannot get over the hatred against this MIL and I feel so much rage.
This past weekend as bf and I were driving from the airport to her home, bfâs brother announces to the family via groupchat that his wife is 9 weeks pregnant. Very exciting for everyone.
For context, SIL and I were pregnant around the same time last year (I miscarried around Thanksgiving and she miscarried around Christmas). So weâre all very happy for them as they kept trying. Bf and I are being careful to not get pregnant again until weâre married.
We get to MILâs house and after saying hello she says âdid you hear the news?! How exciting theyâre having a baby! Now itâs your turn so go get busyâ and laughs as she gestures to the room and basically encourages us to go get pregnant again.
The following day, she comes back from the store and gifts us a new Winnie the Pooh themed clock and says how much (my bf) loved Winnie the Pooh as a baby so she wanted to have some token of that for our kid. And proceeds to say âguess youâll just have to decorate your nursery as Winnie the Pooh theme.â
I have zero baby. I am not pregnant. Her other daughter-in-law is. But thereâs no gift there for them. Just for us. Bf and I are waiting to get pregnant again until after weâre married and now sheâs telling me how to decorate the nursery for a baby we donât have.
Additional comment I never mentioned before is when we told her the news of our pregnancy last year, she was saying we had to go elope immediately. Yet this same woman is encouraging us to have a baby outside of wedlock. Make it make sense.
Rant over. Thank you for coming to my new series of âWhat unhinged thing did MIL say now?â
We are no contact but she had sent a text to my husband inviting us to easter and in that novel she said that both she and FIL have the “flu” (why was it is quotation marks in her message, I have no idea) and advised us that FIL would remain in their room and come out in a mask and briefly say hi but…no mention of her. Yet again, she is exempt from any rules. They know I’m immunocompromised. Me getting the flu is a hospital stay.
Obviously we ignored it but it’s just so frustrating. How can you type that out and not hear how mental that sounds? This has not been the first time MIL has pulled this nonsense.
When we were in contact we would be invited over, show up only to be told after having arrived that she’s sick and so is FIL so FIL has been banished to the bedroom so he doesn’t get me sick…but…MIL is free to just get me sick?
It’s so weird, she always says it like she’s being extremely thoughtful and considerate too. As I said in the title, I genuinely think her head is so far up her own behind that she thinks she is incapable of passing on illnesses to other people.
On another note – their constant messages stress my husband out and he finds it really upsetting. They ramp up around birthdays and holidays and his birthday is the next one in the family, coming up in June so we’ve bought a new sim for his phone and will be transfering all his two factor authentications (he has a lot for work as well as personal) over to the new number and once that’s all done, we’re cutting off the old number.
My husband and I had our daughter three months ago, she is the first grandchild for my in-laws.
My in-laws are coming to visit in the middle of the week next week from out of state (they live one state over, about a 5 hour drive).
I work full time and my husband works part time with an unpredictable schedule that doesnât get released until the Thursday or Friday before.
My mom is the one who watches our daughter during the week which my MIL is already upset about. Truthfully, my husband and I donât trust his parents to watch our daughter, so we made sure that my husband would be off the days they were here.
Now my MIL is saying that sheâs disappointed that she wonât get to babysit and thatâs really the only reason theyâre coming those days. My husband is so hurt. We know that we take the backseat now that we have her, but it feels like they donât even have a sliver of care for us, or more specifically my husband, their son, anymore.
We have been going through the trouble of getting a guest room ready last minute because they only told us this past Sunday that they were coming. My husband is stressed about getting everything done before they get here because he has had a lot more hours a work than usual this week and next, and heâs hurt.
He thought that maybe when his mom would make jokes on FaceTime that they just wanted to see the baby, or another time when he sent a picture of a cute neighborhood cat to the family group chat, his mom said âcute but whereâs {babyâs name}?â He tried to tell himself itâs just her joking. But her stating that the sole reason they were coming in the middle of the week just so they could babysit really solidified it for him.
I think itâs time I become the [jerk] of a DIL MIL thinks I am. Iâm over her shit and am sick of watching her tear down my husband.
Annnnddddd itâs official, Iâve been deleted. Just when I thought she couldnât sink any lower on the emotional maturity scaleâŚ
For context: she called me out for ghosting, I told her why I had pulled back (crossed boundaries), she saw that as a green light to unleash all her grievances sheâs had with meâŚDH told her we need to all talk together to clear the air (3 months ago), she proceeded to try and ice me out of the conversation saying she only wanted to talk to him. She sent a love bomb text saying she missed us and wanted ideas for bday gifts for kids, I said I didnât feel comfortable moving forward til she acknowledges the things sheâs said and doneâŚ.
And instead of acknowledging, she deletes me on Facebook. Doing everything OTHER than repairing or trying to move forward. Seems so simple to me, but very hard for her to grasp. And we are moving farther away from any reconciliationâŚ.make it make sense.
Need a gut check on my mil situation. Since our son was born (2.5 years ago) my mil has constantly asked to have sleepovers with him and take him places alone. Iâve just never felt comfortable. She has a lot of health issues and claims to be in horrible pain 24/7. Sheâs on a lot of prescription medications including pain meds and depression medication.
Most recently she asked to take him out with her, my FIL and friends that we donât know. When I said no her demeanor changed towards me. That in turn made me feel like the difficult one.
While my husband says he has my back, he did say he thought it would be a good experience for himâŚto be around people we donât know? But to me that is a hard no, heâs only 2! I know in the past boundaries Iâve put in place (like allowing her not to swim alone with him) have pissed her off and she goes around and complains to the family.
Iâm constantly left feeling like the villain. I just donât know how to handle it anymore. My husband says I need to let it go, but she makes me feel insane. And the obsession with being alone with him. The truth is I donât trust her, and think it would help if they just came around more, but itâs always demanding to have him alone. Weâre never invited.
My MIL has this wonderful habit of telling my husband and I what we will be doing for holidays. Doesn’t matter which one…she just expects us there and forgets my family.
This year was the first year in FIVE years that we went to my family’s Easter (of course we had to hear about everything we missed on his side). Well, as of 10 min. ago husband and I just got a group text from her. Stating that his aunt is throwing a mother’s day party on actual mother’s day…we should be there at 3pm and dinner is at 4pm.
She doesn’t ask about my mom’s plans or my bonus mom (stepmom)…just assumes we are going to go in the middle of the day to his aunts house. It’s not even a time where we could split up the day….
Maybe I’m overreacting but it pisses me off that she constantly does this like my family doesn’t matter.
September I will be a mother myself, and setting my foot down on this BS, and celebrating with my little family alone. Would anyone respond to her message? I thought about reminding her that I also have two mothers I’d really like to celebrate.
My mom lives 2 hrs away…and the other 45min. I guess I could move it to Saturday but it’s also nice to have a weekend not running around. Especially 4 months pregnant, lol. Maybe my hormones are raging.
My future MIL is trying to get my fiancĂŠ to sign a POA for medical decisions and asset decisions.
The MIL called my fiancĂŠ telling him he needs to sign them and when he refused because âthere is no point since Iâll be married soonâ she continued to lie to him and state that I would be considered part of his POA after marriage. She was very upset with him. I saw the documents on the counter over a week ago and stressed to my fiancĂŠ I didnât think it was a good idea to sign them and he agreed.
We are both in our mid 20s and I think she thought we wouldnât think about doing something like a POA (which granted, I DIDNâT). I feel like it was a sneaky way to gain control over his life before he was officially married and in the long run screw me over. Now, Iâm sure my future MIL has his best interest in mind but I just canât shake the feeling that she doesnât trust me or find me responsible enough to handle assets or his medical decisions (even though I have extensive medical knowledge that his parents do not). I feel upset with this.
MIL randomly calls today and asks if SO is busy he says uhh driving home from the grocery store whatâs up? And sheâs like I need you to not be busy and he is just like just tell me. Asks if she can have FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! He says ummm why? She said can I have it or not and he said no. She said Iâm not telling you then.
SO calls his grandma and she says they have 6 days to get the money or they lose their house. (They live together)
MIL has been paying youngest sonâs mortgage instead of her own.
After further digging it would be upwards of $8000 for lawyers fees, reinstatement fees and such ??? Donât know the validity of that but whatever. We say well good luck!
She says âthanks for understanding, Iâll just let it be foreclosed and figure it out. I deserve whatâs happening to meâ (victim playing as usual)
Mind you this woman SHOPPPPSSSS EXCESSIVELY and is always buying baby gear that we tell her we donât want or need. Went to visit youngest brother and went to baseball games, out to eat , etc.
So no I donât feel bad at all, and if she wouldâve said something earlier we couldâve helped a little monthly but $8,000?!?! This does mean she will be moving closer once everything shakes out, but my SO is absolutely fuming that she would be this stupid.
It allowed for some really great conversations pertaining to everything toxic she does and how we donât want that modeled for our children or want to do to our children in the future.
Iâm 36 weeks pregnant and broke my leg a few weeks ago. Itâs been pretty miserable hobbling around on crutches and in a boot being this heavily pregnant.
This morning I didnât feel well so I went to lay down. I woke up in severe pain and bleeding. I was rushed to the hospital for a suspected placental abruption. DH sent a text to our families stating we donât want visitors yet/ possibly at all and we donât even know how severe it is yet. We need space. MIL ignored text and already showed.
DH had to turn her away and now she is blowing up his phone. This is a nightmare.
Title is self explanatory, my MIL calls us at 6am because thatâs when she goes to work, we have almost 10 months old baby.
She is severely allergic to nuts so she had her peanut butter challange test yesterday. She did okay we came home she was tired since she didnât take nap it was 4 hours in hospital and after we came home it was dinner and bed time. We saw text from his mom but we were busy to get settled so we didnât respond.
This morning that women called us at 6am because her reasoning is she doesnât know when to call since we both work and thinks she needs to know how her granddaughter did with test yesterday. Are you kidding me ?
The same woman who didnât care to listen to me about safety instructions, who wanted me to have my 5th miscarriage which is practically my almost 10 month old daughter now. Who didnât wanted me to have kids and repeatedly said like millions of times. Who caused me PPD, and she thinks she is entitled to know when she calls. F that.
She is not allowed to join any of my daughter’s appointments but she is hoping as soon as my daughter is off breastmilk she can take my daughter for overnight stay at their place. That aint gonna happen as long as I’m alive and if god forbid something happens to me then im gonna haunt that woman to eternity.
My husband agrees my in laws never going to be alone with my daughter and if he does i told him he will see mein court damn right in court. End of rant.
After 10 years of bitter struggle, I can finally celebrate a huge success: My husband finally started therapy and the therapist told him after listening to our story that he believes MIL has a narcissistic personality disorder! My husband said the therapy sessions were extremely difficult for him because the therapist confronted him with everything that had been done to me and the children by MIL and SIL over the years. The therapist was often speechless, tried hard to remain professional, but my husband could see that it was visibly difficult for him.
Background: MIL not only cheated us during the house transfer and almost financially ruined us, she repeatedly tried to turn our children against me through lies, she consistently ignored the pediatrician’s instructions and then managed to turn my family against me through lies to such an extent that I had to break off contact with my own family.
On top of that, she’s been damaging my reputation in our neighborhood. I confronted her about it several times, which led to her feigning heart attacks and demanding to be taken to the hospital by my husband (each time, she was released hours later and the doctors said she was perfectly healthy!).
My SIL is a choleric and used to yell at me, sometimes even chased me. I broke off contact with MIL and the choleric SIL years ago and the children are safe from them, too.
The therapist agreed with me on this point as well! After years of struggle, I’m completely burned out, but it was like a liberation to hear from a doctor that it wasn’t my fault and that my husband should have helped me all these years.
My husband now has to deal with the guilt of having abandoned me all these years, which is clearly taking a huge toll on him. I don’t yet know if I can continue this marriage. I first need to get my health back on track. I can recommend involving a therapist or a suitably qualified counselor. It was a real eye-opener for my husband. Please never stop fighting for your children and yourselves!
Iâm pregnant and just barely starting to show. Since my in-laws found out, my MIL has been comparing her pregnancy symptoms and body to mine. Even when Iâm not around, she asks my SO if Iâm showing yet.
Iâve only just started showing, and in a public setting she said âyouâve got a bellyâ twice in a row in this high-pitched tone. It felt unnecessary, so I just said, âyeah thatâs what happens.â
The very next day we saw her again, and during an off-topic conversation with my SIL, MIL randomly said âsheâs growing a bellyâ. I replied, âIâm growing a baby, not a belly.â I also told her that just because Iâm pregnant doesnât mean itâs okay to comment on my body.
For context DH is picky and doesn’t cook for himself.
1st call she says not to say anything to DH then asks if we have any snacks in the house, I say yeah why. She said she was worried because DH said he was getting off the phone with her to go walk to the gas station to get some chips.
I said yeah we have snacks but I guess he wanted a specific kind of chips. (He told me later on he was just trying to get off the phone with her) 2nd call she says the same thing not to tell DH then asks if we have groceries. I said yeah we do there’s plenty to eat in the house.
3rd day she asks what I’m making for dinner and I said butternut squash soup. Then she starts acting like a 6 year old saying ew gross that’s disgusting just completely making me feel like [garbage].
She said if DH doesn’t like ramen then he can’t possibly like that. I told her I’ve made it multiple times and he does like it but she just wouldn’t stop. Then she said she’ll order us some groceries so we get some decent things in the house and we can pay her back out of our tax money.
I didn’t say anything just say I had to give LO a bath and hung up. I was practically in tears. We have plans for our taxes, we have groceries, my husband may be a picky eater and won’t cook for himself but he lets me know when he does or doesn’t like something cause I don’t like wasting food so if he doesn’t like it I won’t make it again.
Just because she doesn’t like something doesn’t mean she has to trash my food and insinuate DH doesn’t like my food. News flash: HE DOES. All it takes is one conversation with this woman to ruin my self esteem.
My mil expects daily FaceTime calls with my 8 month old baby my husband is on leave so heâs been calling her all day.
Every day when Iâm at work I guess he calls her throughout the day. Most days I donât hear her calling my baby but sometimes after calling in the day time when I come home she has called to see him.
On weekends when we spend time as a family she calls 4-5 times to FaceTime the baby and see what heâs doing I guess? It bothers me so much her baby voice irks me. I hate it. Idk how to tell my husband I donât want it to be an expectation for my son.
My husband calls her mom daily it is an expectation from him. I donât call my mom daily she doesnât expect me too I could go a day or week without talking to her and itâs okay.
I donât want that expectation to call grandma on my son. We went back home this weekend and she said âhe has to do his daily FaceTime with meâ and then would talk about how they always FaceTime.
Idk how to tell my husband bc when my baby was spending time with my mom his mom called and said she wanted to see and FaceTime the baby. Sheâs always complaining about fairness but this stole from my momâs time too. My mil also doesnât work so she has all the time to call my mom works and is involved in her church volunteers so she doesnât have all the time of the day to call I just donât want her to call it annoys me Iâm okay with a few times a week but I HATE THAT NOW IT IS ALSO AN EXPECTATION FOR MY SON.
After Iâve been coping for so long about it being an expectation for my husband.
Every year my husband and I are responsible for hosting Easter for my in laws.
Little backstory; I already took a huge step back from helping since the first year (approximately 7 years ago.) I cooked everything. I spent all day cooking a huge meal. Ham, potatoes, Perogies, cabbage rolls, veggies, salad, etc. This all took place on a Saturday. At the time everyone had only good things to say – aside from my MIL upset that there was no devilled eggs. I thought everything went so well. Until Sunday rolled around and my MIL had everyone (except me) over for a second Easter dinner because âeverybody wanted turkey, not ham.â I have not cooked since.
My husband and I do not like turkey. Itâs dry. Itâs just awful imo. So every year my husband chooses his own non traditional meat to serve. This year was smoked ribs. Immediately my SIL requested hers not to be smoked. MIL also immediately messages and says âchicken pleaseâ. We are not a restaurant. Thatâs not how this works. My husband questioned even doing ribs since it was a 6 hour commitment with already so many complaints. But he decided to proceed since there was still 8 other people who would eat them.
He told his mom and sister to bring their own meat. That was met with a âfor real?âŚâ from his mom. Followed by âyou know I donât eat ribs⌠sorry I thought you were accommodating everyoneâ – which was a jab at the fact that we were hosting Easter at husbands grandparents house instead of ours. Which we decided to do because his grandpa is hooked up to oxygen and itâs very challenging to get him out anywhere. Apparently thatâs also unacceptable to MIL that we didnât have it at our house to accommodate 86 year old grandpa.
So onto the day. My husband smokes ribs. Makes salad and potatoes. I make baked beans, Mac and cheese, and corn bread. All of which I offered to make since my husband doesnât like any of those dishes, but I love them with ribs! The beans are canned beans that I put a bit of onion and bbq sauce into. Not a groundbreaking dish. But I do love dipping cornbread into it. So good! I always make it the same way. But itâs seriously a nothing effort.
Now onto the dinner. Iâll set the scene. Grandma, SIL, and 6 month old niece to my left. FIL, MIL, and future BIL (engaged to SIL) to my right. Husband, grandpa, and my two kids in the living room. This is important to note that my husband is not in the room with us. MIL’s are always braver with their words when their sons arenât around to defend their wife. MIL only takes the chicken she brought, salad, and a small bit of beans – clearly deeming everything else not worthy of her time.
She suddenly asks âwhatâs in the beans?â and I say âjust a bit of onion and bbq sauceâ âThese are disgusting.â Thatâs all she says. Everyone notes my face going red. So FIL says âeveryoneâs palates are different.â And grandma says âyou canât please everyone, donât even bother tryingâ It couldâve all ended right there.
But then MIL continues and states âwell. The garbage will enjoy them.â I held [myself] together and didnât cry, even though I wanted to. Not because of the beans. Beans arenât worth crying over. But the level of respect, that she would have the balls to say this to my face⌠so heartbreaking.
My future BIL – who I donât believe has ever witnessed the way she treats me – then looks at my MIL in horror and says âpardon me?â You could hear a pin drop. He looks at me with pure sadness in his eyes. Nobody else said anything for fear of keeping this conversation going. Grandma made sure to eat every last bite of those beans and even had seconds. Bless her heart. My husband was mortified when I told him once we got home. He said we can take a step back for a while. So thatâs the story. My beans arenât disgusting and belong in the garbage. Iâm sad. But I shall move on. Thank you for reading.
FIL rented an Airbnb thurs- thurs. MIL was upset we were joining them Friday. Things were ok. We went to town yesterday MIL kept disappearing into other shops. The purpose of this trip was to spend time together. Then today Easter, they left. I pissed her off. Why you ask? My son was eating cereal, and MIL had her phone out at the table for my son to play. We donât do phones at the table.
Me: he can play that after he eats
MIL: he can do both
Me: (says mils name) he can play after.
She threw her phone down. Got in my husband’s face told him âwell, we paid for your vacation.â Fil told us she was packing. Mil feels we wonât let her grandparent bc she doesnât get alone time with the kids.
She makes them feel uncomfortable when she is alone with them. (Today is a good example why) Ugh. Last visit, last year. I told my daughter âno more sugar todayâ. ( she had a hot coco, and peeps) Mil said loudly infront of her âwell thatâs messed up.â I was Soo angry but let it go. She wasnât like this before we had kids.
I always start stories about my MIL the same because itâs truly the fastest way to demonstrate her toxicity: she lied and said she had cancer because a conversation wasnât going her way. For most people thatâs all they need to hear, but my husband still wants her in his life.
There are essays upon essays I could write about this lady and her [crazy] nonsense, particularly now as sheâs staying at our home for 10 days despite my husband agreeing with me on a 7 day max, but for now: sheâs salty ah. Quite literally.
Last night I made curry for dinner. Without even trying it she got up, got our salt grinder, and did circle upon circle around her bowl. It was enough that I couldnât help but let an incredulous âjeeeeeeesusâ slip. She said haughtily in that way the MILs do âmmn needs saltâ. After that she said it was good and picked at it.
When my husband, an adventurously omnivorous garbage disposal of a man, went to eat her leftovers his face scrunched up completely and he declared it inedibly salty. He tasted it himself and yet he still doesnât believe me that she only did that to insult me, which is honestly the worst part.
JNMIL is almost 70 years old and has no end to her antics. Apparently, tracking your almost 30 year old son is all you can do when you have no life, interests, or hobbies.
For background, DFH and I have been together almost 3 years. DFH has had tracking (via Life360) with his parents on almost the entire relationship. For context, We are almost 30 year old working professionals who do not rely on our parents for financial support whatsoever. The Life360 was never an issue until the last few months or so.
DFH has been very busy at work, and responding to his parents random texts has taken a second priority. As a result, JNMIL began sending nasty texts to DFH – but only when we were out on dates. Dinners, the movies, day trips – all times JNMIL sent her texts to DFH. The last straw was Valentineâs Day.
This Valentineâs Day was special, because it was our first since I had a miscarriage. DFH went all out, took us for a nice steakhouse dinner & we truly connected.
In the middle, we get another nasty text from DFH, this time to both of us. I snapped and walked out. I told DFH that Iâm tired of his mother weaponizing our fun against us.
Fortunately, DFH agreed her behavior is unhealthy and turned his location off. He has a shiny spine and I am so proud of him for that, but I also showed a lot of patience up to this point. JNMIL has been hinting at the location being off – but today sent a screenshot asking him to turn his location back on. We both guffawed.
The real icing on the cake is DFH has a brother – Iâll call JNBIL – who lives at home still. 25, no drivers license, has never had a job, regularly curses his parents out & steals from them while they are on cruises. No, he is not disabled or limited in any way. Does JNBIL have his Life360 on? Of course he doesnât. Do they bat an eye? Of course they donât.
TLDR; 70 year old JNMIL demands 30 year old DFH to turn tracking on.
So I stopped going to my MIL’s more than monthly gatherings last summer, at the brink of divorce honestly, because my husband would not stand up for me & call his mom out on her rude, passive aggressive treatment I’d put up with for almost 15 years.
We already stopped attending most events but I was done with the plausible deniability and being made to feel crazy / expected to put up with bad treatment for the rest of my life.
After counseling we came a long way & ultimately my husband started looking for jobs out of state. He found a much better position and pay increase in a lower cost of living area 1000+ miles away so we went ahead and moved three months ago!!
Of course MIL lost her mind and has since texted my husband unhinged & unprompted things such as “I really worry about your happiness son, I want you to know you and your children are welcome back home any time I mean that” or “I ran into so&so from your high school, she had such nice things to say about you! I hope you’re happy DHname, I worry about you” etc. eyeroll!!!
My husband was facetiming his parents the other day to thank them for the easter package they sent our girls and they asked to say hi to me (I was keeping my distance). They of course asked about my online graduate program, which I finish next month, and if I was going to be working in that field next year.
Long story short, due to licensing steps in our new state & childcare considerations, I won’t be. My older sister who is a high-end wedding photographer & has a lot of administrative work recently asked me to replace her studio manager/assistant doing emails, her calendar, contracts etc. She’s paying me well and I’m able to work from home, even being referred to planners who are looking to hire me as well! While I briefly explained working for my sister & being excited about the opportunities, especially in light of my career plans that aren’t ideal for the time being, my MIL had her brow furrowed and eyes squinted.
She was literally glaring at me, with a major stink face— what the hell!! Ugh she is such a bully and makes my skin crawl, I genuinely have some kind of PTSD with this woman.
Had it out with MIL with both DH and FIL present.
I kept myself very calm and never raised my voice not even once. The goal was to set expectations if she was going to continue coming over once a week. As expected she was unable to keep her cool and at one point not only did she say she didnât want her day with LO but that she never wanted to see us (me) again because she âcouldnât say anything and never knew if her saying something would set me off.â
I chose in that moment to be the bigger person and tell her to choose her next few sentences carefully so that she didnât say something sheâd regret and that would have consequences she didnât actually want.
We managed to keep the convo going and she never actually apologized for any of the things she said that offended me. Mostly just gave lots of excuses. I just kept defaulting to she didnât have to like my rules or boundaries but she did have to respect them. That I understood I was doing things differently than she did with her kids / her parents and in laws but this is the way I was doing it.
She was also very irritated I had the nerve to âconfrontâ her the way I was. And I was like well if we donât have this convo then eventually I do the absolute bare minimum to appease DH in regards to checking the box when it comes to seeing you guys. I kept my calm never got loud, screamed or raised my voice.
She on the other hand lost it multiple times. Yelling at DH multiple times. Trying to get a reaction out of us. DH lost it a couple times. Iâm the only one who really did not. I also reminded both MIL and FIL that it is me and solely me who makes the effort to include them in things with my family when it would be easier to not and if the relationship continues to deteriorate then Iâll be less inclined to do so and Iâll be leaving it up to DH to manage setting up those things. It ended alright for the most part. Do I think this is the last time things will blowup? No. But Iâll let her be the one to blow it all up herself.
Iâm dealing with an awkward situation with my MIL and could use some advice. My husband and I live in a townhouse with very limited storage and no garage.
Since before my son was born, my MIL was set on getting him a wagon for his first birthday. We told her several times that we didnât need one and didnât have space, but she was very insistent.
For his first birthday, she got it anyway. It has now been sitting unopened in the box in our entryway for over a month. She has seen that we have not used it and after trying to convince us to keep it (and store it in my husbands trunk) , she finally seems to understand.
She offered the return info, but instead of a gift receipt, she sent the QR code from her Amazon account. That means if we return it, the money goes back to her card and we end up with nothing for his birthday.
We are not trying to be ungrateful, but we truly do not need a wagon and could really use something like a convertible car seat since he is outgrowing his infant seat. I feel bad because I know she meant well with the gift but we truly have no use for it at the moment and now itâs awkward to ask her about the return since she already sent us the QR code. What would you do?
For context, we were out at a bar and at a table with one of her best friends. We were talking about mine and my husbands anniversary which was also that weekend. She brought up that she was surprised we had started dating in April because she saw me “sneaking out of their house in January” then proceeded to ask me if I gave it away for him the first time we met. I was completely mortified.
Then she proceeded to talk about how she made her husband wait a couple months. My husband was not around when she asked me this and he went ahead and called her a few days later to let her know that it was inappropriate and ask that she doesn’t ask me questions about our intimacy ever.
She proceeded to get angry with him/but especially me for not “coming to her if I have a problem with her”, downplayed what was said completely, and made herself the victim/ me the bad guy in this. I distinctly remember her best friend looking at me, also horrified, and saying you donât have to answer that.
I’m just not sure what to do. My husband has tried with her. I don’t want to cut ties with family (family is huge to me). Most of the time she is pleasant and I like being around, but there’s been multiple times where she’s said very off putting things to me that make me very uncomfortable. I do have a VERY hard time sticking up for myself and being honest about how Iâm feeling in the moment, especially with someone like a MIL where Iâve been taught to respect that woman and I donât want to embarrass her.
A few months ago, my SIL asked if DH and I would be able to attend her college graduation coming up on Motherâs Day. I reminded her that my due date is the week before so we would either be at home with our first newborn baby (fingers crossed), or I would be in IMMINENT danger of going into labor at 41+ weeks pregnant and that itâs probably not advisable to travel the 2+ hours away to where the graduation was taking place. She was understanding of the situation and I assumed that was that.
Fast forward to today, I found out that my MIL called DH and told him that it was imperative that he be there for his sister. She told us to just bring the baby to the graduationâŚyou mean a baby that would be days to just weeks old at that point? Unvaccinated around thousands of people at a huge university? While Iâm probably still in diapers myself? Itâs a no from me, dawg.
Thatâs when MIL chirped back that DH could just go by himselfâŚand leave me home alone either heavily pregnant, while heâs hours away, risking missing the birth. Or if I do give birth by then, leave me alone freshly postpartum with a newbornâŚmind you, on my very first Motherâs Day as a mom.
And for context, my SIL loves collecting college degrees like theyâre infinity stones, which I love that for her. But we have been to four of her graduations at this point, some of them across the country, so itâs not like this is her one and only college graduation that we would be missing. SIL is understanding, so I donât understand why MIL is making such a big stink about it besides it being the first Motherâs Day her son wonât be seeing her.
I canât help but feel like because of that, sheâs deliberately trying to ruin mine by demanding he go. We gave her the good olâ âweâll seeâ a.k.a. weâre definitely not going, but donât want to hear you bitch about it incessantly so weâll make you think weâre mulling it over. Why do they have to be so insufferable?!
MIL randomly texted me this:
âGood morning, We are wondering why we haven’t seen or heard from you in quite a while…are you keeping our grandchildren from us for some reason? We are in the dark but it breaks our hearts or is that your intention? Not sure you’ll even read this but we love you and miss you
Mom and dadâ
I responded with: “It’s unfortunate you believe we would intentionally keep our kids from you. Visits and conversations have always been accessible to those who wish to be active in our family’s lives.”
MIL: Really? Neither one of you answer the phone or texts.
We funded christmas, in fact you guys didn’t even come over until 8:30 at night, but you had no problem accepting gifts…
Why don’t you tell me the real issues?
We got into it, I tried to be respectful as possible but she kept pushing me, and I ended up calling her a [jerk].
I have never been texted by MIL or FIL to see our 1 yr old and 2 yr old. I didnât even want to show up on Christmas, but they guilted us into coming over, hence why we showed up late. I didnât expect gifts or ask for any for my kids.
Itâs been almost 2 months without hearing from them.
Obviously they never cared about seeing my kids, right?
I got a box of MREs from the food bank when I was struggling really bad I literally opened one or two for my husband and I and we got our paychecks and faster than I thought. It’s just been sitting there so I figured I’d give it back to people who need it I figure the food bank would take it. I go in there and every single one has been opened. She’s the only other one who went through the box.
It’s just so frustrating, they are all literally the same thing and they say the name on the packages she did not need to open every single one now I can’t donate it.
Years ago I asked my MIL to make my daughter a cute jumpsuit for her Bday party. It was going to be outside and March can have weird weather.
My SIL decided to have my MIL make a dress instead, because she thought it was cuter. She presents it and I say no – it was to be a jumpsuit .. with pants. She tried to play it off (she has zero boundaries). MIL said she liked it more too. I told them well – the good news is, itâs not your choice. So keep it. And I bought my daughter something else. I stood my ground the whole marriage. Espc when I found out my MIL didnât like to use car seats cuz it woke my daughter up if she was sleeping. FML. Luckily DH never disagreed.
Just a small vent â đ I had the first grandkid on JNMILâs side. Lucky me. When I was pregnant, she tried to plan my shower to be storybook-themed. My mom (who was the host and planner) asked me on the side âMIL said youâd like this. Would you actually like this idea?â I said no thanks and my mom planned around a different theme of my choosing.
I think JNMIL was offended by this because she either thought she knew me so well, or she simply wanted control over some aspect of the planning. Almost three years later, and Iâm getting an invite for a storybook baby shower for my pregnant SIL.
Huh. I wonder if bought all the stuff for it three years ago and is now jumping at the chance to use it?â đ
On top of this, she planned the shower during my daughterâs nap time. But I know Iâll be absolutely crucified if I donât show up with my daughter. Lol. Iâll probably stop by for 45 min with her and then leave out⌠I am SO EXCITED for this baby (SILâs) to arrive because JNMIL can focus all her obsession on this new baby and stay tf away from me and my family.
I’ve had endless issues with MIL, she is an absolute control freak and also a generally unpleasant person. However I usually ignore and keep my distance/avoid wherever I can.
I am 18 weeks pregnant and keenly aware that I need to start putting in place some boundaries or I am going to set myself up for major disaster.
When she first learned I was pregnant she made a comment about how she would be touching my belly, and I said no, you won’t.
Fast forward to yesterday, she reaches towards my belly and says “can I have a feel?” and without hesitation I said “NO”. She said “well at least I asked”.
Bizarrely, she then asked my husband if she could touch him, and proceeded to rub his belly. Are other people dealing with nonsense like this? it’s not major MIL drama but it’s just so annoying.
So this happened my MIL, who didnât like me for years and treated me terribly, finally apologized and asked for forgiveness. But at this point, Iâm already checked out. I wanted this apology years ago, and now I donât really see us having a relationship.
It wouldâve meant a lot if she had apologized back then not now, after Iâve had a baby. Maybe Iâm being too harsh, and maybe Iâm supposed to forgive, but I feel like Iâve already given up on her.
I told her the truth, and thereâs really nothing left for me to say. Having a baby has made me speak up for myself more.
Like⌠how predictable was that.
I should have placed a bet with someone that she would say that. Iâd be richer than I was.
Anyone elseâs MIL say super predictable things?
So this happened at dinner recently and I canât stop thinking about it. I went out for dinner with my husband and my mother-in-law.
She ordered a chicken dish that came with the skin on. When the food arrived, she looked at it and asked, âIs this chicken skin?â She looked clearly disgusted. Then she turned to me and said, âHere, you eat it,â and proceeded to dump the chicken from her plate onto my plate.
I was honestly a bit shocked and didnât really know how to react in the moment. It wasnât like she asked if I wanted it, she just moved it onto my plate.
For context, we were at a restaurant, not at home, so it felt a little⌠awkward? Also the way she said it felt a bit dismissive. My husband didnât say anything at the time either. Am I overreacting for feeling weird about this, or would this bother you too?
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