When you think of suitable venues for a baby shower, what comes to mind? Perhaps someone’s house or garden, a restaurant, a park, another pretty place that gives off good vibes… How about a children’s home for kids who don’t have a family of their own? You might think that’s a somewhat insensitive and bad idea, but at least one woman would argue.
The woman we’re talking about went ahead and reserved such a venue for her daughter-in-law’s upcoming baby shower. The mom-to-be and her husband feel it’s rude and inappropriate to throw a baby celebration around a bunch of heartbroken, abandoned kids. When they politely raised the issue with the mother-in-law, she responded by exiting the family WhatsApp group.
She thought pregnancy hormones would be the biggest cause of headaches, but it turns out her mother-in-law takes the cake
Woman in cozy sweater with eyes closed, pinching bridge of nose in frustration over baby shower conflict.
Back in the day, baby showers followed a strict set of rules and norms. Among them: “women only,” “the parent-to-be can’t host the shower,” and “you have to open gifts in front of everyone.” But that’s changed, and (almost) anything goes in modern times.
It’s not unusual for men and women to attend a baby shower, or for the guys to have their own diaper party. Some couples opt out of any and all celebrations altogether.
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When it comes to who hosts the baby shower, experts say that’s entirely up to the expectant parent(s). A Babylist survey revealed that 91% of moms-to-be were involved in planning their baby shower to some degree. A quarter of them said they hosted their own baby shower with no other help.
“I love planning things like this,” said one respondent. “And then I have a little more control over what we’re eating and doing, which is nice considering I have zero control over my mind and body while pregnant, honestly.”
“I needed things for the new baby and no one offered to host,” said another.
Babylist’s team advises that if you are planning to host your own shower, don’t forget to let your loved ones know in case they’re planning a surprise one.
And what about the location? What is deemed appropriate nowadays?
“While baby showers have traditionally been held at locations like community centers, parks and people’s homes, Millennials and Gen Z parents-to-be are focusing more on how the location fits whatever vibe or theme they want for their baby shower,” reveals Babylist.
Many of those surveyed said their baby shower was hosted at a local brewery or coffee shop to support the casual vibe they wanted.
In the past, it was taboo for parents-to-be to ask for money as a gift. But that’s also changed… Modern experts believe it’s totally okay to ask guests to contribute to a cash fund.
“You can even use cash funds to request contributions to a diaper fund, childcare fund, college fund or something similar,” suggests the Babylist site.
“When you send shower invites, let your guests know then,” it adds. “Maybe word it something like: ‘We don’t need a whole lot. If you want to buy a gift, please contribute to this fund. It’s the only thing we need, thank you.’”
“Overgrown toddler”: Many people advised the woman to simply do nothing
Comment discussing a mother-in-law throwing a tantrum after her inappropriate baby shower idea was rejected.
Text discussing rejection of an inappropriate baby shower idea leading to a mother-in-law throwing a tantrum.
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Text discussing concerns about a MIL’s inappropriate baby shower idea rejected due to emotional issues.
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Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a workplace comparison related to a baby shower and inappropriate ideas.
Text discussing discomfort with MIL’s work rules and rejection of inappropriate baby shower idea at her workplace event space.
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Screenshot of an online discussion about a mother-in-law’s inappropriate baby shower idea being rejected.
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Reddit user comments discussing a MIL throwing tantrum after her inappropriate baby shower idea was rejected.
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MIL throws tantrum after her inappropriate baby shower idea is rejected by future parents planning their event.
Commenter explaining MIL’s tantrum over rejected inappropriate baby shower idea and feelings about not being needed.
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MIL throws tantrum after her inappropriate baby shower idea is rejected by family planning the event early
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Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing handling a mother-in-law’s inappropriate baby shower plans and setting clear boundaries.
Screenshot of an online forum discussion about a MIL throwing a tantrum over an inappropriate baby shower idea.
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Text message conversation about resolving conflict with grandma after inappropriate baby shower idea rejection.
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Text about MIL upset over rejected inappropriate baby shower idea and family visit plans including son and daughter-in-law.
Reddit comment about demanding job and frustration after inappropriate baby shower idea was rejected by mother-in-law.
Comment advising to ignore the MIL’s tantrum and plan the baby shower as desired without giving in to inappropriate demands.
Comment on a forum about a mother-in-law throwing a tantrum over an inappropriate baby shower idea being rejected.
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