đ€Ż INCRĂVEL: âI Had A Tumor, They Told Me It Was Stressâ: 53 Stories That Prove Doctors Can Say Terrible Things đČ
There are a lot of wonderful doctors who genuinely care, but the stress they face every day, the bureaucracy and heavy workload, means that mistakes can happen.
All of this can lead doctors to say absurd, and sometimes, shocking things â like âitâs all in your headâ or âyou just need to lose some weight.â
It can even mean delayed or wrong diagnoses.
Netizens have shared the worst, the funniest, and absolutely ridiculous things theyâve heard their doctors tell them.
From a doctor misdiagnosing a birth defect as âanxietyâ to a mistaken tumor scare, these mix-ups remind us that medicine is not so straight-forward.
I was newly in remission from blood cancer and realized my face and throat were swelling. I could even feel the pressure in my eyes. I went to the ER was told it was just anxiety, went another week and called to see my primary Dr but he was on vacation so I had to see another Dr in the same bldg. I tell him whatâs going on, he tells me âyou just have a big neck, itâs ok I have a big neck tooâ.
Well now I feel like an idiot so I donât push and just leave, another week and itâs getting worse. In desperation I call my Oncologist who really wasnât involved at this point since I was in remission but no one else would listen to me and I knew he would.
I go see him and he immediately has me admitted to ER, the next morning I was diagnosed with blood clots on my jugular vein and my vena cava.
My sister was in heart failure and taking steroids that caused her to put on weight and have a bloated/puffy appearance.
She was already extremely body conscious so this caused her to stop eating which, in her condition, was non-optional.
Her doctor booked her a consult with a nutritionist. I guess the nutritionist didnât look at her patient notes as to why we were there.
We show up. My sisterâs in shorts. The nutritionist says âWow. Those shorts are very short. Brave, at your size.â
If the nutritionist had been a man I wouldâve probably knocked him unconscious.
Medical profession is considered to be one of the most trustworthy in the world, but even healthcare workers face challenges.
âModern medicine is deeply uncomfortable with uncertainty. When a patientâs symptoms donât follow a tidy textbook narrative, some doctors respond by shutting the conversation down instead of leaning in,â Dr Sarah Fraser, a general practitioner in Nova Scotia, Canada, tells Bored Panda.
âAdd rushed appointments, burnout, and rigid hierarchies, and dismissal becomes a coping mechanism,â she adds.
The term medical gaslighting has become more popular in recent years after people started sharing their stories online about how doctors minimized or ignored their symptoms.
“Medical gaslighting is when a patientâs lived experience is minimised to protect the clinicianâs sense of control. The thing is, I think that often, it’s not even a conscious process,â says Dr Fraser.
She says itâs common for patients to hear things like âitâs just anxiety,â âyour tests are normal,â or âyouâre focusing on it too much.â
As a 14 year old, a doctor coldly and bluntly said âYou will be blind by 18.â Just out of the blue. Didnât talk to my parents first to discuss how to break the news to me. Didnât care how I was going to react. Just⊠youâre going to be blind.
Iâm in my forties now. I can still see.
That I was faking pain from my ovary cyst to get surgery. Removed my pain medication because of that. Apologized to me after surgery, because âI must have low-balled my actual painâ.
Thereâs too many to choose honestly đ
This definitely isnât the worst, but it was the first, so most memorable.
I went to the ER because I had a sudden onset of severe nausea and abdominal pain that hadnât subsided in two weeks. I was 13F curled up in the fetal position with my entire body literally quivering from how much pain I was in.
After waiting hours the ER doctor came in. Looked at me. Didnât exam me. Called me a ânervous ninnyâ and said I just had anxiety. Before even asking any questions.
We eventually found out I had an intestinal birth defect that has gone undiagnosed. It had caused multiple partial obstructions. Blood flow to my intestine was also compromised so by the time I had surgery my intestinal lining was sloughing off and I was pooping out fleshy chunks.
So yeah. Clearly I was just being over dramatic.
Medical gaslighting makes you feel like you canât trust your own body.
âI see this pattern repeatedly in general practice, particularly among patients with chronic, complex, or invisible conditions. Some that come to mind are fibromyalgia, concussions, long COVID or endometriosis,â says Dr Fraser.
Not to me but to my sister âyouâre just a teenager, youâre just feeling growing painsâ. She had a tumor in her spine.
Edit: She survived. Sheâs almost 40 now, totally healthy and hasnât had a reoccurrence since she was in her 20s.
Not to me, but my dad.
“You have a condition.”
“What is it called?”
“What do you want it to be called?”
Turns out that his exposure to agent orange in Vietnam caused him to develop something akin to MS in his 60s. Before then, no doctor had seen it before, but more and more Vietnam vets are showing it these days.
Went to an OB because they have a really nice birthing center. Had my first ultra sound and sat down to talk to the midwife np. She asked why I chose their clinic and I explained how excited I was for the natural birthing facilities and she bluntly says âwell you wonât be using that. Thereâs no heartbeat.â No change in tone, almost like we were talking about traffic or the weather. Then she told me it was ok to cry but I was in shock at how sheâd just delivered horrible news like that. This was during Covid as well so I didnât get to have anyone else in there with me.
It can really change how you feel about yourself and your body if a doctor dismisses your concerns, and it can also delay diagnosis.
 âMany begin to second-guess their pain, apologise for taking up space, or stop seeking care altogether. Iâve had patients tell me the most damaging part wasnât the illness itself, but being made to feel dramatic, difficult, or delusional for asking for help,â Dr Fraser notes.
She says it makes patients not want to access the healthcare system anymore due to repeated trauma from medical gaslighting.
âThis delays care and getting a diagnosis even more, which is so detrimental to patient health.â
After I described my severe chronic pain, the specialist looked at my chart, sighed, and said, “Well, you’re getting older. This is just what happens.” It was the most dismissive and professionally negligent sentence I’ve ever heard. It took two more years to find a doctor who listened and diagnosed a treatable condition.
I went to my primary care doctor when my mental health was spiraling out of control, and I was beginning to feels urges to end things. He derailed the appointment by revolving it around my weight, told me to lose a few pounds and to come back later. He reluctantly sent out a referral to a psychiatrist for me after my condition landed me in the hospital with injuries that don’t bear mentioning here.
I no longer see that doctor.
Laughed in my face when I was 16 asking for a referral to a psychologist because I was severely depressed and said “You think you’re depressed? You know nothing about life.” I cried so much in front of her out of embarrassment but managed to get that referral. I’m glad I did because I really wanted to end things for myself, that was my last cry for help. Had been struggling since I was aware of myself. That moment was 10 years ago, I’m now in bed with the sweetest 9 month old ever. â€ïž.
Studies show that gender, race, and age also affect how patients are treated or how frequently their symptoms are dismissed.
Dr Fraser says womenâs symptoms are still more likely to be minimized or framed as psychological rather than physical.
“Medicine has not fully confronted its sexist history, where women were labelled emotional, unreliable, or âhysterical,â” she explains.
“These biases compound even further for queer, trans and gender-diverse people, people of colour, and those with disabilities. This isnât about a few bad doctors â itâs about a healthcare system that was never designed to listen equally,” she adds.
Having had breast cancer before the current medical philosophy to do double mastectomies on everyone, when I got breast cancer a 2nd time 15 years later, the surgeon walked into the room, grabbed my bare breast in one of his hands and said to me with his face very close to mine “why do you still have these”?
âYou just need to work harder to lose that weightâ
I had a grapefruit sized uterine tumor.
âThe best thing for your joints is for you to lose weightâ
I have RA.
Basically if you are a fat lady, be prepared to have any and all symptoms dismissed as a weight problem.
Had a CT scan and the tech caught on the very edge of my bladder a wierd spot. He shifted the machine and found a 14cm malignant tumor on my ovary. (14 cm is considered huge.) When he saw it I heard him breathe in and mutter ” Oh My”.
I instantly realized that something was bad. My doctor of 25 years had left a message to call him before I even made it home.
Shockingly, the cancer was almost all encapsulated, so I had surgery, 4 rounds of chemo and took cytoxin for a year. Im 15 years cancer free.
If your doctor refuses to take you seriously, experts suggest keeping detailed records of your symptoms, reports and medications.
âPatients shouldnât have to work this hard to be believed, but preparation can help,â says Dr Fraser.
Writing symptoms down, explaining how they affect daily life, and asking clear, direct questions can shift the dynamic, she adds.
âIf something doesnât sit right, trust that instinct. Good medicine is collaborative, and seeking a second opinion isnât a failure â itâs an act of self-respect. Patients can also bring a support person with them or ask if they can record the conversation,â she advices.
If I’d known you were going to be such a baby about it, I would have given you something for the pain. It doesn’t hurt that much. From a male doctor after he spent 5 minutes scraping my cervix and uterus with a sharp scalpel for biopsies.
A HealthCentral survey in the US found that over 94% of participants felt their doctors have ignored or dismissed their symptoms.Â
In the same survey, more than 61% said their doctors blamed them for their symptoms or made them feel like they were crazy.
Experts say the best way is to switch to a different provider to get a second or even third opinion, if you feel ignored by your primary doctor.
My therapist. We have a pretty good, comfortable relationship and she knows my sense of humor. Now, i started seeing her after I was in this toxic relationship, and a lot of our sessions had to do with my ex girlfriend. At the end of our session, I ask what my therapist is up to this weekend? She mentions she is going to hang with some of her girl friends. I joke, any of them single? She says, they are not your type. I say, how come? And she says, they are too stable.
Its one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. She apologized next session, but no apology needed. I loved it.
Iâm currently pregnant and in my third trimester. In my first trimester I injured my back and got a herniated disc to the point I couldnât get out of bed or use the bathroom. I called every doctor I could think of to try and get some sort of relief or help that would be safe for the baby, which of course wasnât possible because theyâre always too afraid to prescribe anything that early. One doctor finally told me âif you donât want to k**l your baby then you need to learn to suck it up. Try some deep breathing and herbal tea.â.
Got told I had a âbad uterusâ by my OB in college. That was literally his diagnosis based on one pelvic exam and listening to my symptoms. 10 years later I learned that is not a real thing.
Told me that my problem was i needed to lose weight because he could see stretch marks on my thighs.
I came in for pelvic pain, fever, and I was 16 and weighed 105 pounds.
He was going to do a physical exam but stopped because he saw stretch marks and decided weight was my problem.
I was in the ER the next day for infection in my uterus that required a 2 week hospital stay and IV antibiotics.
After being in an accident where a vehicle hit me as a pedestrian, the ER doctor said, âwell, you walked here so youâre fineâ and tried to discharge me. The NP turned around after taking my vitals and went âOP was hit by a car. This is fight or flight syndromeâ and then I went unconscious. I apparently made it to the ER before my lung collapsed and then discovered all the other injuries I didnât know I had thanks to adrenaline.
First me then a few days later my mom: “It sounds like a bad cold, just take some tylenol for the discomfort and you’ll be fine.” He didn’t listen to our lungs or take an x-ray.
Turns out it was Legionnaire’s disease. I managed to soldier through it on my own sleeping in a recliner so I could breathe, but mom spent a month in the hospital and nearly died. She has permanent lung damage from the incident.
Needless to say we both dumped that doctor after that. Turns out he had a bad reputation for discounting women’s complaints because he felt we tend to exaggerate our symptoms.
“You don’t need to get back on anti-depressants, you need a good relapse to get yourself back in the program!”
A psychiatrist I stopped going to. I did get back on anti-depressants and they helped in ways the program never could.
When i was a healthy teenager and a pediatrician i saw for the first time told me that i was obese and should join her obesity support group. she then went on to talk about what a huge thyroid i had and called in her assistant to feel my thyroid. assistant seemed confused.
not a very helpful encounter for a teenager ngl.
My pediatric neurologist told me at age 16 that for such a pretty girl I have ugly feet but if I cover them up I might be able to find a boyfriend. I had just come down with GBS and was trying to recover, so he was giving me his suggestions after he asked me what I planned on doing at the beach. Many years later I ran into him with my husband who asked him if he remembered what he said about me finding a boyfriend! He was in shock!
I had a car accident and I severely cut the palm of my hand. I got stitches, and my skin turned black. It was terrible to look at.
When I went for my check-up, the doctor said, âThatâs how itâs going to look forever. Donât expect any improvement.â I went home crying.
My dad heard me, so we called several doctors and dermatologists and got a cream. Within one month, it was completely healed with no discoloration.
The cream is called Scar Fix, in case anyone has a scar.
Apparently my very obvious hip malformation was anxiety, hormones, or excess weight (Iâm a uk size 8)
Yes I am a gal, how did you know?!
No apology or acknowledgment of medical misogyny.
He said, “I don’t have time to talk to you about this” (meaning the issue for which I had scheduled the appointment) – He said this AFTER standing outside of the room for over 15 minutes talking football with another patient.
It was a larger practice so I stopped at the desk and got the information to file a complaint. As soon as I got home I called my insurance and changed my PCM, as well as filing a complaint about the doctor with them.
He told me if i didn’t get an abdominal cat scan (several thousand dollars cash pay) he wouldn’t treat me. issue resolved by nurse practitioner for $23 including the cost of the office visit.
Back in 1981 I was suffering from panic attacks really bad and he told me get my life in order and Iâd feel much better.
I had a psychiatrist tell me, âI donât think youâre autistic; youâre too relatable.â.
All of my problems are either because of my period, being overweight and anxiety.
I have issues with anorexia and bulimia and at one point I finally was happy enough with my partners help that I was able to let go of it and gain weight and then my doctor said âyou should try intermittent fasting to get your weight downâ when my weight ticked one point into the overweight BMI category.
It ended up about as well as youâd think
Also I used to have a prescription for Xanax for panic attacks that I refilled once every like 3 years and when I asked the doctor who replaced my old provider for a refill she said she didnât believe in prescribing anxiety medications and that I should exercise more (one of my bulemia manifestations was 3 hours of exercise a day at the time lmfao).
I was pregnant with my daughter and the first test they gave me was negative and I told them that I felt like I was pregnant.. the doctor didn’t necessarily say anything to me. It was what she did that really spoke to me… I went in 2 weeks later and said I really think that I’m pregnant and I can’t stop throwing up and I don’t know what to do… She gave me a urine test and I saw one of the psych nurses come in. I know who she is because I know her. Long story short the office walls are very thin and I could hear the doctor say that I need an evaluation because they think something is wrong with me mentally… They were going to have her come into the room and evaluate me… Well lo and behold after they got the test results they found out I really was pregnant and I had hypersense Gavin or however you spell it… And that was the day when I looked at her in the face and said that I heard her through the wall and I’m very upset that she didn’t take me seriously and decided to work against me instead of help me get to the bottom of what was going on and I had to wait two extra weeks just to be told that I was pregnant… I then changed my doctors and left a very nice review for her….. Guess who’s not a doctor anymore at that facility? Yep you guessed it because I wasn’t the only one that she was doing that to…..
“Though we can’t say for certain, it’s highly unlikely that you will ever regain feeling below your waist.”
They sure were right!
“This woman should have been admitted to the ER 2 weeks ago, it’s nothing short of a miracle she’s even alive right now”
What the intake guy said to my family, about my mother, who actually was in fact in the ER/Hospital for the past few weeks, but they let her go because she was in “stable condition” and because she waited for all of us to be gone for the day.
Granted, he wasn’t wrong, she was literally a skeleton by the time she died because she refused to eat or drink anything for about 2 months. Barely ate half a plate of food no matter what you offered her.
Iâm a type 1 diabetic. When I was pregnant and toured the hospital to pre register for my delivery, the nurse kept calling me a âbad mommyâ for having diabetes. (My a1c was in the 5s and baby weighed 7.5 lbs. I worked really hard at it). F**k her, my husband complained and it went to the top administrators. Pretty sure she got in some hot water over her judgmental attitude.
This was a long time ago, but I broke out in severe hives. A male doctor suggested it was female hysteria from PMS. I was livid! It was an allergic reaction to hair color as it turned out.
Youâre overreacting, this is normal and youâre just being a hysterical first time mom. My baby was stillborn 3 days later. .
About my 3yo, whose appointment it was: “he’ll never be an athlete.” Dr was a developmental pediatrician who we were seeing for my son’s mild cerebral palsy. My son was sitting right there.
Ftr, he is 18 now and he is a cyclist and a hiker. He also skateboards, does a little rock-climbing, has done a via ferrata course, kayaks, and has gone caving. Growing up he did gymnastics, parkour, 5 years of special needs AYSO, cross country, and he passed the swimming unit at school. So f**k you very much, Dr.
While receiving an epidural, the anesthesiologist was having a hard time and taking forever. I asked nicely if she was almost done and she snapped back at me “women have babies everyday without an epidural.”.
A psychiatrist once took a phone call in the MIDDLE of our session and then proceeded to have an argument with a patient over the phone. After it was over when she hung up she asked me if I thought she was right. A few sessions later she told me my hair looks like french fries. And I didn’t see her after that.
âI donât believe in ADHD, but tell me why you think you have it anyway.â
Followed by
âSounds like you have âsmart kid syndromeâ turned into âtired mom syndrome.ââ
At least he agreed to give me a referral to someone else who knew w*f they were doing.
In the middle of labour and I say to my baby daddy ‘ I hope we can make it home in time to watch Walking Dead’
Doesn’t this Dr pull his arm out of me and say ‘ I’ll show you The Walking Dead’ while wiggling his blood-to-the-elbow covered arm in the air.
Man mos def knew his audience tho.
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